Nah, we don't need to know, why would we?

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

The ISP I do tech support for is just about to enable throttling of speeds on ADSL accounts.. When you reach a certain gig allowance you'll be slowed down.
They're going to do it in about 4 hours, 5 am.

We here in customer service found out about an hour and a half ago, and then only by chance.

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL US DAYS AGO.

So, you're about to add software to the server which will affect ALL our customers and you expect it all to last 15 mins.

HAH Fuck this company is just RETARDED

Listen, people, Listen..

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Techie:"Thank you for calling **** Business Technical Support, my name is ****, may I have your name please?"
End-User:"Hi yes I have a **** ********* and the system is Millenium 2000 and I can't connect to the internet, I have SBC yahoo and I can't get online and it keeps coming up with this "Internet Explorer has something an error and has to close."

Techie:"Ma'am, do you have the [ID Number] of the system you're calling about?"

End-User:"Oh sorry yes it's ********."

Techie:"Thank you Ma'am, you're covered under home support, please hold a moment."

All this unpleasantness can be skipped if you'll just listen to the nice Tech when he answers the phone..
-----------
"Hold on let me put this dog outside..."
This dog? Sounds more like a dog pound..
And AOL 9.0 screwed up your computer? Big suprise...

I'm sooo naughty

[justsomegurl.livejournal.com]

I have voicemail today. There are no messages. I think I'll play. hehe. I like being lazy at work. I can get away with it most times. :D

Very helpful description

[naggy.livejournal.com]

Caller: "I'm having problems printing; it's telling me something."
Me: "What are you printing?"
Caller: "I'm printing to the printer."

I'm glad we clarified that! Wouldn't want to start troubleshooting her coffee cup.

Oh, this is gold..

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Win XP

cust advises she cannot browse or email
cust advises she is connected using (not this ISP) broadband
advised cust will need to contact (not this ISP)
cust advises she has tried it on a different computer and is still having same problem
cust advises she tried using (this ISP) dialup on that computer
cust advises she had it plugged into a different phone line as well

asked of cust : you tried connecting on two different computers, with two different ISPs, two different connection methods and two different phone lines, and you still had the same problem?

cust says yes.
cust hangs up


I think she realised that her lies made no sense and hung up immediately to avoid a) discovery of those lies and b) embarassment at same...

The first thing I thought of saying when she told me all that was "Hmm, you seem to be experiencing some kind of odd pebcak field effect"

I'm glad she hung up, it would have been hard to troubleshoot... I guess she called the other ISP heheh.. I hope for the sake of the tech who took the call that she refined her lies somewhat

(no subject)

[boredevilperson.livejournal.com]

The receptionist at my company is under the impression that I support her home internet service and her cell phone.
( More )

I need a shirt that says "I'm not here to help you" And people wonder why I telecommute every chance I get. :p

Had to comment on this

[justsomegurl.livejournal.com]

Got a message from a customer today.

*Yes, I am calling about an email that was in the /virus/ filter. The e-mail came from *ISP* apparently. The e-mail says that our account has been disabled due to improper use. I am wondering if this is legitamate*

1) It is in the virus filter for a reason
2) If your account is disconnected how did you get in to check your email?

Fucking Qwest...

[bdinger.livejournal.com]

I'm a Network Admin for a healthcare distributor. I've also previously worked for an ISP, and been a geek for as long as I can remember.

( Anyway, so Qwest, those bloody assfuckers. This is about them. It's sad. And funny. )

More on Qwest

[bdinger.livejournal.com]

It gets better.

Any who have been a corporate admin will understand the rest of this. In anything corporate-wise, you always either have to, or want to have extensive documentation of ANY problem. If a computer won't boot, you want to have a three page trouble ticket to cover your ass.

So, beingst that I report directly to, and only to, the VP/Operations and President of the company I am downright anal about this kind of thing. They asked me if I could, in addition to what I wrote up, get something from Qwest detailing the issues.

No biggie. Time Warner Datacomm is happy to do this for us, and I've never had to have Alltel do such a thing, but I'm sure I could tell them to write it on freakin' Papyrus with goat blood and they would do it.

I call Qwest and ask that they give me some sort of printed documentation of the issues.

"I'm sorry sir, you will have to have a subpeona"

No. Fucking. Shit. I mean, I even asked VERY nicely, repeatedly, and got the same answer.

So much for the "Spirit of Service", eh?

(no subject)

[mtlchick.livejournal.com]

Can anyone give me some sites for screen shots, troubleshooting tips and etc. for ISP support? I used to do it and use Chasms but that's gone pay. I just need to brush up on the basic troublshooting for ADSL and dial up because I've got a test tomorrow for a new job.

Thanks in advance!