It's Friday it's Friday oh thank God

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

The conversation went something like this:

User: "I've been bringing my files in on a floppy disk, and when I put it in the hard drive today, part of it broke off inside."
Me: "Right, I'll dispatch a tech to service the drive."
User: "If he gets that part of my disk back, can I read my files on another computer?"
Me: "...probably not."

Username?

[crazdgamer.livejournal.com]

I'm instructed to call a user at a remote site who is complaining that she can't log on. I had spent a good portion of the previous day ensuring that the computer can be used and could be accessed. This required a drive to the remote site (30 minutes away) and connecting the computer to the network jack (and hooking it into the switch.) All in all, it was a good way to kill 4 hours.

As it turns out, she didn't put in her username, she just put in her password.

I do 4 hours of work, and she doesn't know enough to do 7 keystrokes...

take it on the other side....

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

Ah, sweet, delicious irony. How I have missed the bitter tang of your kiss lo these many days. I am gladened to know that you have not forsaken me

( Not quite a death row pardon, two minutes too late )

Stop DOING that!

[xforge.livejournal.com]

We have a designer here, a lovely girl who's very talented, but she has an issue with emailing attachments. Today she attached two PDFs totaling...

320 megabytes...

to an email message, and then wondered why her email had stopped working.

Somebody please. Make her stop. ::sob::

I may be on edge because of the end of the fiscal year...

[mfeltes83.livejournal.com]

and all the people who are panicking to get purchase orders in at the last second and demanding that it be taken care of right now. But clearly, this strategy of passive-aggressive behavior and attempted fixes having nothing to do with the problem at hand worked to a tee. Glad to be of service.


I'm sorry, but waiting a day is not an option. I am always in the intranet. I rebooted my computer for the 4th time today and it seems to have worked.

luser

>>> Helpdesk 6/16/2006 11:15 AM >>>
It does sometimes take a little while for the password change to propagate through to everything on the network. My officemate sometimes has to wait a day for hers to make it to the intranet. Have you tried logging in on your old password? If that does not work, I may well be able to find the document for you and send it via email.

>>> luser 6/16/2006 11:02 AM >>>
I changed my password today and I'm not able to login on the intranet.

Thanks for checking into this for me.

luser

Please hold while I headbutt the table.

[kuang.livejournal.com]

It's been one of those days where you feel you're standing on tip-toe, balancing using the surface tension of the seething miasma of stupidity below, and one false move will plunge you into the despair of the minions mewling away beneath the surface..

Here are a few choice answers to questions I've received today. Make up your own version of the other half of the conversation:

'Does it actually have 8x5 envelopes in that tray? No? That's probably not the best setting then.'

'No, LIT is almost empty, FLASHING is empty.. well which is it?.. erm.. flashing means going on and off..'

'How long's it been like that for?.. about a month?.. and it's urgent?..'

'No, I can't do anything with your home computer... yes, it probably has caught something.'

'The screen went blank? When you plugged your phone charger in, what did you unplug? That one, hmm?'

'Why are you trying to use a dialup connection on your desktop machine?.. so you can get to the websites you use at home...'

'Basically we're all fucked, whichever way you look at it... that was being positive, would you like me to talk about negative?

And my favourite:

'If you want it recovered from the backups I'll need to know what it was called, where it was stored, and when it was last used.... can I just restore everything to your department's shared area from 2 weeks ago? Well, I could but your team-mates might not be too pleased about it. Ok, you go and ask them and get back to me..'