Username?

[crazdgamer.livejournal.com]

I'm instructed to call a user at a remote site who is complaining that she can't log on. I had spent a good portion of the previous day ensuring that the computer can be used and could be accessed. This required a drive to the remote site (30 minutes away) and connecting the computer to the network jack (and hooking it into the switch.) All in all, it was a good way to kill 4 hours.

As it turns out, she didn't put in her username, she just put in her password.

I do 4 hours of work, and she doesn't know enough to do 7 keystrokes...

Comments

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of one caller back in the day who was having problems logging on to email. Email app required no password, just the username, which in each case was the person's actual name (small organisation). Troubleshooting didn't penetrate the cloud of confusion surrounding this caller, so I said I'd be right over and asked where her desk was.

She didn't know.

"You know, how do you get to it when you come out of the elevator on your floor?"

She didn't know.

Maybe she never left her desk, or was joined to it at birth by some horrible medical accident?

I finally managed to extract the name of her division and grabbed my jacket. Jogging a couple of blocks down the road to the building she was in, I found the appropriate floor and asked about until I tracked down her team. I eventually closed in on her desk, about fifteen feet and one left turn from the elevators.

"Show me the email problem."

*typey typey* WRONG USERNAME

"Ah yes. That would be because you are continually spelling your own name wrong. Here's a suggestion: try NOT fucking it up."

*typey typey* WORKS NOW YOU IGNORANT GIT

"Goody! Now sit there in a malfunctioning pile while I inform your supervisor exactly why any future queries from this team will be given a priority normally assigned to underwater basket-weaving."

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Guffaw!!!! I had a similar problem a couple weeks ago, with someone halfway across the country:

"My account's locked!"

(unlock account in AD) "Okay, try it now"

(sound of fifteen kittens doing the cha-cha-cha on the keyboard) "Nope, still don't work"

(unlock because it locked after 3 unsuccessful attempts) "Okay, now"

(sound of someone mashing keyboard with groceries) "Nope!"

(change password in AD to "password") "Okay, type the word 'password' in the blank."

(sound of someone feeding keyboard into wood chipper) "Uh-uh, nope"

(access computer remotely, type username and "password" carefully, it logs in fine) "Okay, there you go, have a nice day!" (hang up quickly, scream, beat forehead bloody on desk)

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Did she have large breasts? Was there some other reason for her to be on the payroll, not to mention using up oxygen that others in the building might need? Or was she there to provide body heat as a way of keeping the air conditioning running?

Just got off the phone with a user who, after I created a desktop alias called "Put files to backup here", couldn't remember/find the place to backup files. And she makes more than me. Gah!

[kestrelct.livejournal.com]

Usernames here are the first seven letters of the last name followed by the first inital (we're a college). You'd be amazed at how many people can't remember this. Especially faculty, and not the new hires. There is only one system that doesn't use this username and its associated password, so for the most part, they use this for *everything*! Logging on to computers, authorising printing, checking their email, it's all the *same information*. But somehow once they call, they don't get it anymore. "Wait, it's asking for my username and password..."

[jecook]

I <3 the icon.

Or should it be I <3-less the icon... ::snicker::