The Evil User

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

I hate you, Evil User. You are my nemesis. And one day, Evil User... vengeance. It'll be all the sweeter for the anticipation.

The Evil User filled out a fault report and sent it through the intranet claiming that her printer was missing. Printers don't tend to move about under their own power, so on receiving it I scratched my head, and decided it probably didn't mean what I picked up from the first reading. I called her to check and she confirmed it — the printer was gone, physically removed, unplugged and taken away. There was a conspicuous printer-shaped gap in her office equipment.

Calls to a few of the techs on site didn't connect me with anyone who knew what happened to it, so I paged security out to investigate. The guard asked Evil User to fill out a theft report. She told him she didn't know what he was talking about.

He called me, wanting to know what was going on. I called, her wanting the same. Now the story changes, it seems the printer has been there the whole time... she just reported it missing so I'd take her problem more seriously.

Now I'm your problem, Evil User. I take myself very seriously. Your boss, Slighty Ditzy Supervisor may not think it's worth making a fuss about, but I'll be watching you.

Face the music

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

Hrm.

They've consolidated one of my departments. I'm not sure how they define 'consolidated', but I now have 3 direct managers and a regional director within rubber-band thwupping distance from me.

They've also jammed two dispatchers, three phone techs, and two different build labs into one room. The noise level has increased tenfold in the last week.

And one of my goddamn coworkers has a radio. Not against the rules, but dammit. It's just one more thing. She's mostly deaf, so it's loud. She listens to shitty country music (not al country is shit, but she likes the terrible stuff) - well, there WAS a Johnny Cash marathon earlier. She sings along. And can't carry a tune in a bucket. SHe had the radio when she was in another room, but she was one of the only folks there, and it was a huge room. Not anymore. The sounds of EVERYTHING echo off the ceiling and walls


There's actually a meeting later to address the noise level. The other dispatcher and I are begging to get moved into the room with our other team.

Otherwise, I'll be wearing people's entrails like party hats.

Overheard in the Cube Farm

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

"The password is password.
No sir, just the word password.
Password. P-A-S-S-W-O-R-D. That's the default password.
No, not 'default', it's 'password'.
No sir. P-A-S-S...
PASSWORD.
P as in Paul!
It's written right beside it!
Yes, the password is password!
Ok. Ok.
No, the PASSWORD is password, the username should be admin.
Short for administrator.
A as in alpha, D as in delta, M as in mike, I as in India, N as in November.
Admin.
No. the USERNAME is ADMIN.
Right.
The password is password.
Okay.
Three boxes? Good.
Type admin in all three boxes, exactly the same.
Admin.
No sir, Admin.
Three times.
No, not three times per box. Once in EACH box.
ADMIN.
A-D-M-I-N."

I'm not even taking this call and I'm getting a headache!

call me mischevious, call me a bitch

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

But sometimes, I just want to give people horribly wrong answers, particularly to less serious questions such as inquiries about staplers and printing costs.
No, we have no staplers. Printing is $0.50/page. If you leave your lab computer unattended, we will donate your possessions to Goodwill.

Okay, maybe that last part is true, or should be.