The Evil User

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

I hate you, Evil User. You are my nemesis. And one day, Evil User... vengeance. It'll be all the sweeter for the anticipation.

The Evil User filled out a fault report and sent it through the intranet claiming that her printer was missing. Printers don't tend to move about under their own power, so on receiving it I scratched my head, and decided it probably didn't mean what I picked up from the first reading. I called her to check and she confirmed it — the printer was gone, physically removed, unplugged and taken away. There was a conspicuous printer-shaped gap in her office equipment.

Calls to a few of the techs on site didn't connect me with anyone who knew what happened to it, so I paged security out to investigate. The guard asked Evil User to fill out a theft report. She told him she didn't know what he was talking about.

He called me, wanting to know what was going on. I called, her wanting the same. Now the story changes, it seems the printer has been there the whole time... she just reported it missing so I'd take her problem more seriously.

Now I'm your problem, Evil User. I take myself very seriously. Your boss, Slighty Ditzy Supervisor may not think it's worth making a fuss about, but I'll be watching you.

Comments

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Uhhh...

Uuuummmmmm...

(passes Xanax & Whiskey)

... *palmface*

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

*downs pills*
*does a shot*

Holy gelcaps, braincells actually scream when they die in mass quantities.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

I'd make sure her printer disappears for real

Be quite interesting to see how it's handled, especially since last time it "disappeared" she told the security guard she had no idea what he was talking about....

[kingogre.livejournal.com]

KEEL HER!

Wait,,, KEEL her and replace her with the printer, probably works harder and with less mess =)

[zercool.livejournal.com]

Hm, where I work, they'd be charged with filing a false report ... I'm damn glad I'm done with tech support.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Definately make sure printer disappears and is replaced with Oki-Data 9 pin impact printer.

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

dot matrix love FTW!

[network-nerd.livejournal.com]

Take the printer away "to work on it". Make sure that any subsequent enquiries about progress are met with "I don't know what you're talking about."

[soberloki.livejournal.com]

For the win!

[kuang.livejournal.com]

'I know I didn't return your messages but my answering machine was stolen. Yep, my email account too.. all gone.'

[shirenomad]

You win.

[mouse-from-marz.livejournal.com]

what problem did she have that she thought lying about her printer would help?

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Couldn't see the print queue available in her applications. She was logged into the wrong profile.

[greylady.livejournal.com]

Oh yes,

Because physical hardware being gone is going to get you to that answer more quickly.

People suck. Some of them even manage to do it with the right body part...

[mouse-from-marz.livejournal.com]

well, at least it was a printer-related problem... *headdesk*

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Fortunately, when this happens it's not our problem.

If they're in HQ, we do a quick check to see if some other team requested it moved. Then all callers get "Sorry, no record of a move. Have your manager file a stolen property report."