Dear Luser

[usekh.livejournal.com]

Dear Customer,
Yes we did alter your account. Yes we fixed a typo on a TOTALY DIFFERENT email address on the same domain as your email address. This is not the reason why you cannot suddenly send email through your connection with another ISP.

If you are too stupid to understand coincidence and how email works it is not my problem.

Reboot.

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

We'll just get this little politically incorrect thing behind a wall first thing. Don't click below if you're at work, at home, in public, in private, a man, a woman, elderly, a major kitchen appliance, a small dog, a large cat, or anyone whose last name ends with '-son'. In fact, this is so acerbic, offensive, and downright obscene, that I think it's a good idea if you just keep scrolling. That's it. Keep going down. You'll be happy you did.

( Cut because I want your mouse button to break. )

FIND! NOW!

[thebrainn8.livejournal.com]

Darwin Award Nominee: I'm calling from [Big hoohah VIP]'s office, we put a ticket in some time ago, I don't know when, for a problem with [application]. I don't know what the problem was exactly, but nobody has called us. [VIP] is very upset, you need to find out what happened and get on top of it.

Me: Okay, who was this for again?

DAN: [VIP]'s office, but it wasn't in his name.

Me: Do you know who filed it?

DAN: No.

Me: Hmm, any idea when it was filed?

DAN: No, just find it. We need this resolved now.

Me: And what was the nature of the ticket?

DAN: Something to do with [application], I don't know what the issue was though.

Me: Well, I'll see what I can do.


The problem is, this application is a 3-letter acronym. These three letters also happen to be commonly used in a lot of words. Searching application name doesn't work, and I have absolutely no other info to go by...

The part that really baffles me is that they have no idea when the ticket was filed, but they absolutely KNOW it was filed, and that it's been far too long without resolution. Plus, email is automatically sent to the person the ticket was filed under. SOMEONE should have record of it, if it does indeed exist.

I spent an hour combing 450+ requests, and had to give up. Thankfully boss-person backed me up on it and said he'd talk to the people who were asking about it.

/dies

Carrion Crows

[dog-star-man.livejournal.com]

Hey guys...just because I'm upgrading a bunch of computers from crappy PIIs to nifty PIV Dells, and swapping out all the peripherals ta' boot, don't go getting the idea that all the old hardware is up for a free grab. I see you all giving me those greedy looks you always give me when I'm lugging cpus around the plant. Bunch of fucking vultures. I have never given anyone anything for free from my stockpile of spare hardware. If it still works, I'll use it 'til it doesn't work. Then you can have it to give to your baby to chew on or to make fancy jewelry with. Now go away with your stupid self.

(no subject)

[harmer.livejournal.com]

Future techsupport member:

( new meaning to the phrase using computers since the womb )

Unbelievable

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

I've just received the sixth email from a user complaining that we haven't installed the application she requested two whole months ago!!!zOMG!!11!

Quoted in the message are my last five replies requesting the location of her PC. Not the actual information, though. I'm tempted to go over her head and talk to her supe, but the entertainment value hasn't run out yet. :)