*headdesk* New Prettier Online Banking Site

[rose-welch.livejournal.com]

My bank overhauled it's perfectly fine secure online banking site and the new site was unveiled today.

Too bad nobody can see it.

They've given messages concerning the changeover everytime we logged in for the last two weeks. I printed out a copy so I wouldn't have to call in and bleet at them like all of the other stupid sheep. I wore a smug smile on my face as I stapled the two sheets together and placed them in a folder on my desk. It said we would have to reset our passwords.

It did NOT say that they would reset our passwords for us.

And not tell us what the new ones were.

*headdesk*

So I call the number it tells me to. I get network failure. Seven times. Huh. They must be very busy. Wonder why?

I call my bank. The cheerful switchboard operator tells me to put in the last four of my social. Doesn't work. She says try it again. Doesn't work again. But it does lock me out of the system. She transfers me to the local call center. I try to be really nice because I KNOW that they have had the Morning From Hell.

The guy tells me to put in the last five of my social, not the last four. I tell him he probably needs to call the main line of the bank and tell them that because that's what they're telling everyone else. He demands, 'Who told you?' and I start to say 'the switchbo...' and he demands again, 'Who told you?' and I start to say who and then he interrupts again and I waited until I heard silence and said that if he'd be quiet for a second I'd tell him who. He got very quiet. I told him who and then he transferred me to his supervisor so I could tell her what I just told him.

The supervisor of the tech support call center cannot reset my password. I asked her if she's sure, because when I first started using the website, I'd had a password problem and they reset it in like five minutes at the main branch of the bank, over the telephone. She explained that with the new system, only the call center can do anything. Not the local call center, the national call center.

So I call them and wait in the queue. I finally get someone, who resets me, I log on and am presented with layers of stupid security. It wants to know my father's birthday (haven't a clue), what high school I attended (I didn't.), what the mascot was (Of the high school I didn't attend?), what street my mom grew up on (Army brat.), and other dumb security questions that ensure that not only can fraudulent users not use your account, but real users can't either. I don't have an answer for any of the questions offered.

What a novel idea! If no one can use it, then no one can steal information. Perfect security!

On top of that, every feature uses javascript so my pop-up blocker is going nuts. Some of these can be right-clicked and opened in a new tab, but not most of them. Oh, yeah, plus, it wants me to designate this computer as a 'safe' computer. This means that I'll only have to put in my login info once per day and if I use any other computer I'll have to go through six billion layers of 'security', including but not limited to the three security questions. Anyone wanna take a bet on how many people make thier shared work computer their 'safe' computer?

The worst part is, the old site was perfectly secure. It was fine. It wasn't as pretty as this site, and the bank logo wasn't splashed everywhere, but it was a good secure, simple site that WORKED.

*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

quit blaming the computer.

[wyldthyng.livejournal.com]

YOU entered your password incorrectly. That's why it's telling you you entered your password incorrectly. So slow down, check your capslock and get it right. Rebooting the computer isn't going to help you, twit.

I'm not techsupport for the person in question - just the poor sod who has to sit beside her and hear her slander the computer for her lack of typing skills. I feel sorry for any techs that might cross her path.

Oh, and Dad? If the instructions tell you to tap the text field with the stylus to bring up the virtual keyboard, then TAP THE TEXT FIELD WITH THE STYLUS TO BRING UP THE VIRTUAL KEYBOARD. There. See? I did it, and it came up, just as the help doc said. I *should* be charging you for this.

edit: no, I wasn't spelling "incorrectly" incorrectly to prove a point. ~blushes~

Help Desk: Dead end or good start?

[grayhawkfh.livejournal.com]

I was pointed towards an interesting article in ComputerWorld: Your help desk career: Dead end or launching pad? The gist of the article is that there are 2 views on whether working help desk is good for your career: It's a dead end and you'll always be a HD tech, or it's a good way to go further in IT.

Having read the article, I tend to agree with the view that it's a launch pad. I started at my current place of employment as help desk. Within months, I was in charge of hardware repair and replacement. Eventually, I was offered a place on the Windows team. My team lead had a similar advancement path.

So, out of curiosity and Friday-spawned boredom, I put it to you my tech brethren and sisteren: Is HD a dead end street or a path to greater things?

Dear Customer # 2

[awarrenfells.livejournal.com]

I am an Internet Tech Support agent, not your system | network Administrator.

If you, for whatever reason, manage to boot yourself out of your network and | or lose your network encryption key and password, it is not my responsibility to fix the errors of your ineptitude.  Also, if you yourself are not techno_savvy enough to fix your own network issues, you might consider hiring someone to serve as your system | Network administrator, as you were apt to point out that you don't have one.

Seriously, what business operates a computer network without a system | network Administrator; or, in the very least someone with a clue.

DIAF.

Your Technical Support Representative.

Sigh.

[zzyzx.livejournal.com]

This printer is in the IT department, too.

There's an hour of my life I won't get back

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Condensed version: Novice user + Vista (not my product, thankfully) + $employer's wireless router and admin software + one of the most unintelligible accents I've ever heard + tendency to mumble or go totally silent in response to questions or instructions = epic fail.

Slightly longer version: I don't support Windows (again, thankfully), and my helpfulness to Windows users correlates fairly well with their ability to navigate on their own. That is, if that ability to navigate is zero and the response to every instruction is "how do I do that?", sooner or later, most likely sooner, said user is going to get booted to their OEM support or Microsoft in that order. Combination of mumbling and a bizarre accent (to the extent where I actually honestly cannot parse what I'm hearing) is going to make that happen *much* sooner.

And I really, really wish I could ask, "Why the f*** did you buy Vista if you don't even know your ass from a hole in the ground?!" ..

Tales from the Help(less)Desk

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

Work order received from the help(less)desk:

"Transcription area Anetha printer is not printing to her printer"

O_0

well... as long as her computer is still computing to her computer i guess she'll be okay...

Valis

A Cautionary Example

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

:)

Sometimes it's not the user....

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

Cautionary tale time.

I was installing a nice shiny new network LAN drive today. One with a fancy new enclosure [and ok, a not-so new 160gb samsung HD, but there you go, money is tight everywhere]. Since this was on my home network, I guess I was the user for a change.

Seeing as it was slightly different from ones I'd used previously, I was playing it safe and following the makers manual. Which was nicely written in clear English for a change. Actually felt a bit weird, reading instructions to set it up that weren't in engrish.

Anyway, everything set up, green lights all round annnnd.. huh.. nothing. No sign of the drive on the network.
So, test the cable, good ... plug drive into laptop... no problem seeing it, plug laptop into router, again no problem... try plugging both drive and laptop into router...and woops again with the nothing!

Ok, hard reset everything and huh.. no router now?! Ummmm....

Upshot, and some hacking around in the spiffy new admin interface for the drive, it turns out both the router and drive had a DHCP client [ed- server, I mistyped] and were basically both trying to assign an IP to each other...and which one got knocked off the net depended on which booted first!

Something that the nice and easy to read manual completely and utterly failed to mention. Both that the drive controller had a DHCP server, and that it was default enabled. In fact, the manual made rather a big fuss about the drive being a simple 'plug & play'... which it very definitely was not.

Round about that point, I started to imagine the sort of help-desk calls this was going to generate for someone... and was very glad I wasn't working for that company!

Sometimes, the manuals, they lie!!

Another day, another asshat banned...

[jecook]

Posting links to malware installation sites here *will* get me in a _very_ cranky mood:



Now, for a *real* free A/V scanner...

http://housecall.trendmicro.com/ It's 'good enough' for a start.

http://www.grisoft.com/ publishers of AVG. They have a free for personal use which, while basic, is also 'good enough'.

http://www.avast.com/ Avast! is decent too.

Edit: cleanup, I feel a bit less pissed off and can see better. ;)

IT retards

[wibbble]

I hope that the person who emailed this in to us this afternoon is in this community. I hope that you, who works for an IT support company in the UK specialising in a niche market, read this and feel shame.

I'm not happy to edit a unix file.

This person emailed in because for the client they were supporting their system (which is ancient) doesn't have a clicky button on the web interface for downloading a file. We told them how to get it directly from the machine (which runs Linux), which they have access to. They could even upload it using the clicky web interface.

This is from an IT support company. Not end-users. They've been editing these 'unix files' for years, just downloaded through the web interface.

This company has one guy who even knows what Linux is.

How do people get to be 'IT support' with so little knowledge of anything beyond how to set up an XP box?

No, your PC really is offline.

[emsporter.livejournal.com]

Phone rings, I answer. Big mistake.

User requests to speak to Coworker (male), or someone who knows about computers. I explain Coworker is absent today, and that I can help. User declines my help, asks to speak to another (also male) colleague instead. OtherColleague is also magically unavailable. User requests someone who knows about computers. I repeat that I can indeed help, despite possessing breasts instead of testicles.

User says his PC is telling him his roaming profile cannot be found, and Windows is logging him on with a temporary profile.

I ping the PC, and do a few other things to confirm that yes, this PC is offline. Reboot, check cables are correctly seated, according to the user, blahblahblah test stuff, and I send out a ticket for OnsiteTech to investigate, having concluded to my own satisfaction that nothing was bringing this PC onto the network from my (250km away) vantage point.

User clearly does not believe that his PC has no network, despite the fact shared drives, email, network profile, &c are all unavailable. It takes a five minute argument to get him to CHECK the damn cables. User apparently believes that the PC would not boot if the network was not present. (User appears to have head buried in backside.)

Half an hour passes.

User calls again, and gets my colleague on the line. My (very new) colleague patiently explains that no, $Program will not work without a network connection. Colleague investigates ticket database, explains that I have already logged a ticket with OnsiteTech to check hardware. User hangs up on Colleague mid-sentence.

Half an hour passes.

BigBoss calls (about three levels up the hierarchy from User). BigBoss has been speaking directly with $ProgramSupportTeam, who explain patiently but less politely that $Program does not work without a network connection, and that perhaps onsite support should investigate this. BigBoss is most grumpy, and demands to know why tech support did not diagnose the lack of network connectivity in the first phonecall, an hour previous.

I am currently the second-longest-serving technician in my helpdesk. I explain, with references to the previous ticket logged, that User is thick, and refused to believe that I could diagnose a network fault via the ping, lack of profile, email, etc, as aforementioned. I also point out that NewbieColleague explained this too. I refrain from suggesting that User is a sexist twat; however, BigBoss is not stupid, and can read between the lines.

BigBoss promises to rip User a new asshole, and goes to ring OnsiteTech to ask for an ETA.

We like BigBoss.