But I can't reach !

[255-255-255-0.livejournal.com]

****Cut for brevity, (this was a long and painful call)   Luser's Dell notebook screen is too dark *****

Me:       Hold down the FN key  then press the UP arrow key several times, (gave up trying to use the term cursor keys a long time ago!)
Luser: FN key?
Me:       It's near the Bottom left of your keyboard
Luser: oh yer! and what other key?
Me:      The UP arrow key
Luser: I can't reach it.
Me:      You mean you can't reach the keyboard?
Luser: No,  I can't reach both keys
Me:      Try using TWO hands

I mean just WTF ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


Then he said: OH................But I'm holding the phone

**I knew it would be too hard to explain that maybe he could put me on speaker phone, (work phone they all have speakers) or rest the phone between his shoulder and head, so I suggested he just put the phone down for a moment. Then came a faint voice if you can hear me it's better now, thanks.

Who has this much time?!

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

Seriously. Considering that they obviously had to use a thesaurus to construct every sentence just so. Half-way down to the page you finally get to the (sort of) question... I don't have the time to read this nonsense much less write it!

( For your reading pleasure - grab your lunch... it's gonna take a while. )

New Phone System!

[azleaneo.livejournal.com]

About two weeks ago my company installed a new (well, an upgrade) phone system. We had about a week before we cut over to test everything we could, but we couldn't test the recording system. The recording system relies on the database information, and the new phone system uses one large table whereas the old system used 2 (one for phone data, the other for recording data.)

Well, as it so happens, the data migration worked, but the recorder software doesn't want to talk to the database. So my users can't pull calls or anything. I can pull calls out of the database, if I have enough information.

( Key Words: Enough Information )

(no subject)

[ianhess.livejournal.com]

C: I have problem A.
I: That requires solution B. Here is a list of instructions.
C: I still have problem A.
I: Did you have any problems with solution B?
C: No. I didn't do it.
C: I think I'd like to do solution C.
I: Sorry, that doesn't fix problem A. How about solution B?
C: Please send me instructions on solution C.
C: Btw, its urgent, I still have problem A.
I: ...

(no subject)

[fuego.livejournal.com]

Customer quote: "I can't get my unit up. Er, I mean I can't get turned on. Um, nevermind. It's just dead."

Hammer Time

[klytus.livejournal.com]

[X-posted to my private LJ]

And today was the day I bought a 10 pound sledgehammer as a tool for the help desk :D

Somebody saw me bringing it into the building and gave me an odd look.

"We're having discipline problems," I said.

Oddly enough, that seemed to satisfy him. He gave me a smile and nod, and I went on my way.