$LUSER, you are not the most important person on earth.

[laptop-mechanic.livejournal.com]

Yes, $LUSER, I realize you're a very busy person. I appreciate that you have lots to do. I looked at your machine SIXTEEN DAYS AGO and ordered parts, which came the next day. But you'd already taken the machine to use while the parts were coming in, because you didn't think I was serious when I said they'd be here next day. And just NOW you decide to bring in the machine, despite my repeated attempts to contact you. And yet you want it back today. And since you have now become my oldest active repair, I get to drop everything and get right on it.

This would have been DONE fifteen days ago if you could have bothered to bring the damned thing in.

teh stoopud - IT HURTZ

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

The last few lines of my most recent work order... (my typing in closing notes)

On laptops we typically redirect the My Docs to a subfolder on a personal network share.... I wanted to move hers to this location so she could sync to a second laptop. The rest should be self explanatory.

got basic email profile setup

could not get her My Docs sync'd right as on current laptop some putz redirected her My Docs to C:\
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(broke on horizontal plane for lesser browsers)

Do you want to save before you quit^H^H^H^H die slowly by ethernet-garotte?

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

Okay, so my customers are clueless from time to time.....well okay, they're just clueless. But what gets me royally pissed off is the laziness of fellow colleagues in other departments that land mine in hot water, mostly because they can't be arsed simply saving changes to live kit.

( Oops!? I'll give you bloody 'oops'! )

I'd like you to meet my special little coil of ethernet here, the one that's been pre-stressed. Don't mind me as I wind it around your larynx and slowly squeeze.

I try, I honeslty try

[gythiawulfie.livejournal.com]

Some upper level muckity mucks told a co-worker that she was going to need the ability to VPN to her computer here at work, from wherever, so she could access certain programs etc.

No problem, basically.

She did the right thing, she called the help desk and asked them to create a ticket for it.

They said no, she just needs to talk to me to set it up. I can do it.

Um... no... I... can't.

I don't have that level of authorization, AND IT SAYS SO ON MY ACCOUNTS PAGE...

So, she came to me and told me what they said.

I said, not sure how to do a VPN, or set it up with all our extra firewalls and whatever that could make it not work. I was told that generally, no one is allowed to have one. (which is true, standard University Policy, however some people in certain positions, like hers, are exceptions made. This came from REALLY high up)

So, I call the help desk.
This was so hilarious that, well, the convo went something like this.

H - Helpdesk
O - Me

H: Helpdesk this is ______________ how can I help you?

O: Hi ___ this is O, the tech up here at workplace, an employee of mine and called you to get authorization to have a VPN set up for her computer, I am not able to do that, who do I need to talk to to get it done.

H: Oh, yeah we told her to talk to O, why don't you have her get on the phone with us.

O: This IS O (didn't I say who I was in my introduction?)

H: Silence
pause

H:Oh, sorry, you should be able to do that no problem

O: Um, no. A) not my field B) I don't have the Authority or Overrides to Create One, and C)I've never done one, nor do I have a manual telling me how. (Did I not mention this in the opening statement to you?)

H: Well, who is the tech up there?

pause as I try not to go batshit (I know I am a wierd mish mosh of tech levels depending on said subject matter, but seriously, did I just SAY I WAS the TEHC?)

O: I am the tech, but Networking/Granting Permissions on that level is not in my specs, ask me anything about print servers, print demands, graphics etc, basic program support, color profiles, I am your go to, this however, is beyond assigning IP addresses and adding them to the AD, applying Ghost Images and adding staff to computers/create accounts. That is ALL I am authorized to do.

H: Well is there another tech.

O: No, I am the only one here.

H: Please hold
pause for about 5 mintues

H: _______ from the college of E will call you.

O: Thanks.

My friend (and I do consider him a friend) from the college of Ed called about 30 minutes later. I confirmed that I am not allowed to do a VPN personally. Yep, he confirmed it. Not even HE can authorize it. It'll be another week or so, because well... it needs about 6 signatures, from equally high muckity mucks.

How many times do you fail? Let me count the ways.

[mariasama16.livejournal.com]

A bit of background, I work level 1 helpdesk.

$User calls in, he suspects his laptop has a virus on it. Curious, I ask him what made him think so. "Norton tells me it found adware, the system is running really slow lately, and one of my USB ports aren't working". I blink at this and ask why he's using Norton when this particular company has McAfee on all corporate machines.
Its his personal laptop, just bought in Feb from a big box company and has Vista on it (still not supported, which I'm sure is no surprise to anyone in this community).

At that point, I give him the general advice (run a full system scan or use a company that offers virus removal services) and told him to contact his manager to get a corporate laptop.

So, lets do the counting:
1) Got laptop infected with viruses (sadly, this company has the users have full admin abilities on their own computers)
2) Laptop is a personal machine
3) Laptop is running Vista
4) Hooked personal laptop to corporate network
5) Hooked infected personal laptop to corporate network

I'm still boggling how he thought that this was in any way, a good idea. Oh yes, he's also a temp employee and he needed the laptop to work on a certain web-based app. IE: Give him the weakest computer there is and thats all he needs.

(no subject)

[moopet.livejournal.com]

Background:
Customer came to us last week saying her laptop wouldn't start. We diagnosed a corrupt file system, asked her if she had anything important on it and suggested she reinstall using the system restore disks which came with the machine. She said she didn't have the disks and warrantyblahblahblahshouldbecoveredblah. We told her we'd restore the system but it was a chargeable service. Ok, she gets her laptop back fixed, we get paid, everyone's happy.
Present day:
She came back clutching a CD. She said she'd found her Windows disk, so could she get her money back. This was stupid enough, but I happened to notice what the disk clutched in her sticky mitt said on it: HP Photo Printer Driver. Yes, I did ask her about it, but she seemed very reluctant to show it to me - I wonder if she really was that stupid, or whether she was just trying it on by pretending she had the right CD (and therefore was that stupid too, but in a different way)

Meh, subject goes here.

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

So, after reading this comm I had this thought. This applies mostly to helpdesk support type places then to those of you who are office admins and on site help, but does anyone else ever get sick of dealing with IT's IT dept? People who upkeep tech helpdesk machines/servers/etc. generally tend to be, in my experience, assholes. Anyone else have an opinion?

Oh, and, there's a new guy on our team and I REALLY want to wring his neck. Yes we CAN migrate computers from one side of the company to the other, asshole, so you should _NOT_ be leaving them VMX's saying they have to by new computers. Exit stage left, kthnxbai!