Canadians supporting americans

[piepants.livejournal.com]

...it's a canadian civic holiday today (like your 4th of July, but not...in fact I have no idea what we're celebrating. Probably caraboo). I'm canadian. I support Americans who don't have the day off.

I hope we're not understaffed today....

*puts on apathy helmet*

Not strictly tech support, but...

[fixerkitty.livejournal.com]

Why the hell can't they hand out cases of these to anyone who uses a computer in a corporate setting, or home users buying a new machine? It'd be a godsend.

(x-posted to mine)

Cuteness!

[ladynisa.livejournal.com]

My 4 week old kitten just ctrl+alt+del restarted my pc. I think I'm in love. :D

(no subject)

[twistedsyx.livejournal.com]

So I work in the software industry. I'm in support so I take calls and fix people when I can. When our software breaks, which software does, don't deny it, I have to create a bug to let our development team know.

I just received an email from our lead developer today coming back from a birthday vacation:
"[BLAH BLAH BLAH] This bug scares me. I think the fix is simple but [...]"

If there's anything I don't want to hear from our lead developer, it's, this bug scares me.

What makes this more funny, is I was just talking to my friends about things you don't wanna hear your coworker say, ever. The number one thing we all agreed on tho was working on a boat and hearing the captain say in a slurred voice, "Hey, is that a whale or an iceberg. I should lay off the schnapps."

read between the lines

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

I got an email from a Luser requesting support for our firewall. Well we have two versions of it - the full and free versions. I know this is hard to believe, but customers don't always supply a lot of information in their emails especially when it comes to whether or not they purchased the software.  The fact that we don't support the free version of our firewall is likewise also hard to believe.

So I replied back with our cookie cutter polite reponse asking them to provide a key or if not, giving them a link to our knowledge base. Their response "so you're just basically telling me to go to hell since I have the free version! looks like I'll be uninstalling your product!"

OH NOES! Please! We don't want to lose your money! Oh, wait! You're not a customer! Game, set 'n' Match!  K THX BYE

wwwwwwwwwwwhy?

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

Email from Luser:

I downloaded your firewall for windows 98, said it wasnt compatible..why is this??? windows 98users need protection also. I use to have kerio, why cannt I have it again..everything seems to be for XP and wwwwindows 2000 up.

thanks

Let's pretend that you can't get fired - what would you tell this person? Be honest!

Daily stupidity

[phaedra-13.livejournal.com]

As I mentioned in my intro, I support a software product that communicates with CBP. Here are are just a couple of tickets we get on a daily basis:

COMPLAINT: My release won't print!!
PROBLEM: CBP hasn't released it yet (the exact date and time of the release is posted right in front of their noses...if it's blank....duuuuh)

COMPLAINT: I can't create a billing invoice!!
PROBLEM: The file is locked (upon entering the file, a message constantly flashes across the screen than NO changes can be made)

COMPLAINT: Why does my prior notice say that the export date is invalid?
PROBLEM: You are trying to submit prior notice on freight that has already arrvied in the US (boys and girls, can you tell me what "prior" means?)

Must be one of those days...

[cadey.livejournal.com]

Dear core tech support:

Once again, as my dear friend fiannnachruinne pointed out, many of our users do not have live chickens running around so that they may sacrifice the chickens to the computer gods.

I wasted three hours, fifteen minutes, and seventeen seconds of my life trying to teach an elderly man how to backup files from the command prompt.

Also, I don't know who shat in your Wheaties this morning, but get over it and stop dumping your calls in here because you hear the magic words 'I can't get online' or 'I have this big blue screen.' And for the love of everything, tell people that they've got to pay to play.

Otherwise, I'm going to sic Cthulu on you.

No love,
Me

(no subject)

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

I'm tech services at a big call center. (lowly Tech I, too)

We're upgrading the entire call center to WinXP. The WHOLE center. We're a third party provider, so the computers running the clients' software happened to get upgraded first. Different departments get the upgrade at different times, but we're not going to leave out 1 or 2 computers out of the 900+ we have here.

Which means we probably have some sort of plan.

Which means submitting a work order insisting your computer be done next, when you are on a second-from-bottom rung of ye old corporate ladder makes me wonder about the wisdom of letting you anywhere near the work order system ever again.


Egads.


(This after calling me to complain that you still have to use 2 keyboards and 2 mice to control the 2 computers you have at your desk - one running the client software, the other running our company's software that allows you to do things like, oh, your JOB. Oh Noes. You have to switch back and forth. Oh Emm Gee. Whatever will you do - oh wait! I've got some rope and an idea!)