I don't care how big your nail is, Excel is not a hammer!

[jon787.livejournal.com]

I told you that Excel was not the right tool for the job. I even offered to do it the right way using Access. Two months and 14,000 entries later is not the best time to come whining to me about your 'database'. You do not have a database you have a large collection of spreadsheets. Calling this mess a database is an insult to databases.

First post in this community

[dudeitsawesome.livejournal.com]

I just got a call from a user requesting that someone come look at his mac because it is "acting squirrely."
I spent the rest of the call trying to pry information outta this dude.

Although it would have been funny to put in a trouble ticket saying "mac acting squirrely."

A Promise is a promise...

[jecook]

And a few weeks ago in a comment I mentioned some pictures.

I went through my archives and found said (crappy) pictures. I've uploaded them and added the commentary.

http://www.sub-ether.net/gallery/archive

We'll just call him "sparky"... ::cackle::

Muahaha

[manuka.livejournal.com]

A user called me on my lunch hour and told me her computer was "turning blue". I told her to get it to fresh air and start providing mouth-to-mouse resuscitation. I think I heard her glare at me over the phone.

Edit: I told my boss about that one.. He chuckled, grabbed his mouse, and did a re-enactment of Scotty and the Mac, saying "computer?" into his mouse.

I really need to be doing other things, but this couldn't wait.

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

Recap: internal tech support for large call center. I'm just a Tech I and I don't get told anything, but somehow that doesn't register with some people. Also, people are not supposed to phone in with their problems but rather place a request in the work order system, so when there is ringing, there is groaning.


We have someone working here who was having password... issues today. I shall call her B.

B had not logged out of her computer in over a month. Well over, from what I understand. I now also understand why having her do this was scary, despite it being required by policy. I start work at 12 noon. This morning, B had requested her password reset at least 3 times. After the third time, Ned(not his name, of course) had made her write it down and put it on her desk. She returned from lunch, and... couldn't log in. So it was reset again. I'm slightly unclear of the details, but I believe it was actually done a total of 5 times by poor Ned.

Time: 5:09pm.
Time since everyone else went home: 1:10 at least, some people earlier than that.

Phone rings. I answer. Hilarity ensues.

B: Yes, I know I've had some problems with my password today, so I wanted to just say I can't get in again so if you could just go ahead and reset it for me, that would be great.
Me: I'm sorry, but that would be something Ned or *other two Tech IIs* could do.
B: Oh. Well, they arn't here?
Me: Um. *why would they be here AFTER 5pm? Everyone is usually gone by 4 but me, and your office is also supposed to be closed* No, sorry, they're all gone for the day.
B: Well, then you can just do it for me.
Me: Actually, I don't have the permissions required to reset passwords, so I am not able to do this for you.
B: Oh, well, surely SOMEone is within paging distance or has a cell phone! Just call and see if they'll let you do it.
Me: No, I don't have access to that sort of thing. I literally do not have a button to click on or a form to fill out. I physically can't do it. You need to wait until tomorrow. *you know, regular business hours, the ones you are supposed to keep too?*
B: No, I'll just wait while you call Ned and he tells you what his login is so you just do it for me.
Me: * o_O * NO.
B: No?
Me: No, that's not possible.
B: You can't just use his login?
Me: No. That would defeat the purpose, now, wouldn't it? Yes, I'm quite sure that *I* am unable to do this for you.
B: So you're telling me I have to go home now, then.
Me: Yes, it would seem that way.
B: Oh. ... ... Ok.
Me: Thanks! Have a nice evening!




She wasn't exactly being an entitlement bitch, either. She was just... not getting it. Not getting it at all.

My mate the "Hardware Techie"

[gerry-london.livejournal.com]

Just classic!

http://www.digg.com/apple/iPod_shuffle_catching_fire_(how_not_to_fix_an_ipod)