(no subject)

[pantherchild.livejournal.com]

~There were several bs-y HC (HC == Human Capitol == Human Resources) things that we had to do as new hires. Two of the trainings, our boss sat in on a little. One he sat in on because he was hiding from someone, and the other because he was forced to. (It had been a point of pride with him that he'd always avoided the HC bs trainings.)

~Now, the first one was 'soft skills' or--as I liked to refer to them--'soft skillz, yo'. It was basically a course in how to be nice to people. Some of the more memorable moments:

Teacher: Now, for this survival exersize, you have a lsit of items and you need to rank them as to what you need most to survive.
Scott [coworker]: I want the shotgun and the sleeping pills.
Teacher: You want...what?
Scott: See, I'd kill everyone one with the shotgun, then take the pills and lie down in the snow.
Teacher: You know what would happen to you if you did that...right?
Scott: Yes. I don't want to wait around to be rescued.

~(We've since decided to never give Scott any kind of weapon.)

Teacher: Now, how would you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich? Christian? Prehaps you would like to answer?
Christian [boss]: Of course. First, I'd form a committee to discuss the sandwhich. Then...who do I hate most? Oh, Karl. I'd delegate the peanut butter to Karl. Then...
Teacher: I do not think you are really getting the exersize.

Teacher: Shall we play 'Get A Rock' with Christian?
(Note: This is a stupid game designed to teach you to be sepsific in what you ask for from users. The teacher asks for a rock, and you give her items until she decides the one you give her is what she wants.)
Coworkers: Sure.
Teacher: Go get a rock.
*hands her a soda can*
Teacher: This is too light.
*hands her a giant penguin--no REALLY*
Teacher: This is too big.
*hands her a coworker*
Teacher: Um, that's not what I wanted.
*hands her paper*
Teacher: *laughs* This is a frusterating game, isn't it Christian?
Christian: I like it. We're going to start playing it at staff meetings.

~Now, the last training was the Belbin 9-roles crap. You have to fill out a survay ahead of time that scores you in each of the nine roles. It also gives you a little summery of your personailty and what jobs you'd be best in. It's pretty neat, to be honest.

~We all did our stuff, turned em in, and at the end we all had to discuss what our roles were.

Me: Well, I'm aparently well suited for a position where I can be outgoing and perky.
Group: HAH. WE'RE SO SURPIRSED. <--sarcasim
Christian: Aparently, I've not had an origianl thought in years.
Group: HAH.

~Then, after the training, Christian sent out a big e-mail.

( Paraphrased, it went something like this... )

~Between stuff like that, the random beer, and the sheer awesomeness of my coworkers...I think I have the BEST JOB EVER.~

I really hate semiadvanced users

[byh.livejournal.com]

"It said it cannot find the printer, we know nothing about it so we reinstalled the driver. The PC could not load anymore but we managed to start it in safe mode. Then we did not know what to do so we uninstalled the driver and now it does not load at all."

This is definitely the best attempt to fix the loose USB cord issue I have seen.

Too bad there are no drivers that explode and kill anything nearby. They say Microsoft is collecting suggestions about their Windows Vista. Maybe we could ask them really-really nice to include such feature? For security reasons.