Is there an adapter ?

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

Customer: hello ? yes, i have bought an new GraficsCard to play better games. its an Ati Radeon X1900. the person in the pc-store told me it would be no problem to play every game on market with that card. but it needs an AGP slot. i just noticed i dont have that one in my computer. i only have standard PCI and a few ISA slots. is there an adapter from AGP to PCI or ISA ?
Me: *mute* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Customer: hello ?
me: *loooool*
customer: hello.. is there anyone ?
me: *tries to behave* *unmute* hello ? ah. yea. i had some problems with the phone. no, there is no adapter from agp to pci. you'd need to buy an new computer.
customer: can i just solder out one of the ISAs, i dont need them, an put an AGP onto the mainboard ?
me: *mute* *snort with laughter* . o O (thats not true. is it ?) LOOOOL!
customer: that shouldnt be a bit problem i guess. hm ?
me: *takes a deep breath* *unmute* oh. no. that wont work. that would kill your motherboard. to put this card into your PC, you'd need an new Motherboard. For a new motherboard you'd need an new CPU because a 486 CPU wont fit in ANY other motherboard. also the EDO-Dimms wont fit into new motherboards. so you'd need to buy an whole new computer. you might be able to keep the 150mb Harddrive and the 2x CDRom. but i dont think that would make lot of sense.
customer: do you have an CLUE what that would COST ? there MUST be another way!
me: sure. give back the graficscard and dont play games.
customer: why cant i play with this computer ?
me: oh. maybe because some games need up to 4gb free disk space which is about 40x more than you have at all. maybe because these games need about 3ghz of CPU speed which is about 50x the speed you have. or maybe because they ask for 1gb ram which is 32x more than you have and if i start thinking hard, i would find a few more things.
customer: oh... well, then i guess i'd need to buy an new computer.

Attention: Lazy Asshat Suctomer!

[grayhawkfh.livejournal.com]

When you called today to have your computer moved from cubicle x to cubicle y, who did you call?

IT Help. Right.

When you have a problem and decide to befoul our email inbox with your neeping, what is the email address?

IT Help. Right.

Now, let me try and break down the department name for you.

I (eye): Information. Knowledge derived from study, experience, or instruction. Processed, stored, or transmitted data. Something that you are completely devoid of.

T (tee): Technology. The application of science, especially to industrial or commercial objectives. Electronic or digital products and systems considered as a group. Yes, you half wit, this refers to the big glowing box that sits on your desk.

Help: Aid or assistance rendered. Usually with much gnashing of teeth at the unparalleled stupidity of lusers like yourself, and great consumption of Tums afterwards.

So, the function of this department is to provide you with assistance with your computer. Although the greatest assistance we could render is to hook up your keyboard to the building power mains.

So where in there does it say that I will/would/should help you move your fscking file cabinets? Yes, I am physically larger and stronger than you. No, I don't care that you don't want to empty them and carry the stuff 20 feet to your new cube. If it's that big a fscking deal to you, please call someone who gives a damn. I have other tickets from other idiots from Entitlement Acres that I have to deal with. If all that was required for me to move them was to sh*t on your file cabinets, I couldn't be bothered.

(And yes, the bodily excretions of the technical staff does have magical powers. Trust us.)

(no subject)

[jecook]

Someone remind me to kick the ass of the genuis over at Microsoft that decided that "Rich text" emails that encode attachements into a single monolithic file called "winmail.dat" was "good enough" for the internet...


And then people wonder why they are not getting attachments, only a single file that say "winmail.dat"... ::rolls eyes::

Oh yeah. Did I mention that Boss prefers me to send him the "rich text" formatted emails? ::eyes rolling so fast that they make me dizzy::

I knew I had it shut off for a reason, and this luser just reminded me why...

(no subject)

[shifuimam.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I've got a complaint AGAINST a tech rep this time.

( rant below cut )