Top 10 Clueless User Stories

[dog-star-man.livejournal.com]

So fitting in this forum...

http://www.zdnet.com.au/jobs/resources/soa/10_classic_clueless_user_stories/0,2000056675,39239390,00.htm

Direct from the email bin...

[jecook]

names have been changed to protect my paycheck. I'm rather fond of it.

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From: jecook
Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2006 10:45 AM
To: "Trainer", helpdesk
Subject: Printer needed

Fixed. power cable was hiding behind his desk.

--J.

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From: "Trainer"
Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2006 10:45 AM
To: helpdesk
Cc: jecook
Subject: Printer needed

Hi [helpdesk person],


Some how, the power cord to my printer is missing. I asked J and he said he didn’t have another one and told to request a new printer through the help desk. I would prefer a printer that can also scan. Thanks.

stupid tickets

[aylinn.livejournal.com]

just received from helpdesk (& tweaked to protect MY paycheck)

Color scheme for MS office needs to be changed.
I was going to walk user through process, but he had limited options & not enough time to do this himself.
User would like someone to come out & work on this for him.

*boggles*

I expect this sort of behaviour from windows users.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

You all know personally some dweeb who's gone and tried to "Organise or Clean Up" their c:/windows directory and end up hosing the system.

Today I had my first Mac user who's done this... He tried to consolidate his two library folders (thank god he didn't look in the other user directories). Surprisingly he was still able to log in, but many things were broken (including privaliges and various programs were missing).

Thankfully I was able to send him off to apple to rebuild his system.

Read in a very sarcastic tone (of course)

[justsomegurl.livejournal.com]

Please use me for your punching bag
I don't really know my job
I got hired for my sexy voice
I'm here to turn you on
Make you forget about your e-mail woes

( Continue )

And I swear it's the last time...

[pantherchild.livejournal.com]

~Wow, I love my job.

~And I mean that seriously, with only a teensy weensy bit of sarcasim. My coworkers are great; my boss is fantastic; my cubemate agrees that we should be living in a jungle (he's buying more plants tonight!); and most of the users aren't too bad.

~My personal favourite call of the day:

Me: Hi, thanks for calling my ubercool work. Can I have your account number or login?
Him: Sure, it's blah blah.
Me: Ok, I have you up here. Looks like you should have...
Him: Three systems. I've got one registered...but when I got to register another, it tells me that I've got too many registered!
Me: Hmm. Well, let's go into the system mangement tool and see what's there.
Him: I see nine systems...
Me: You have to delete the duplicate ones or else you won't be able to register anymore.
Him: Oooh, I see.
Me: So, let's try and reregister the system once you've got the dupes removed.
Him: Aren't you going to hang up on me?
Me: ...sir?
Him: You've told me how to solve the problem. ARen't you going to hang up?
Me: Ah, no, no sir. I want to make sure it's solved so you won't have to call back.
Him: You don't want me to call you back?
Me: Well, sure, but for a different issue, I hope!
Him: You must be new.
Me: YEs sir, pretty new.
Him: Don't worry. You'll be bitter and disillusioned later.

~The other favourite call was the same issue...and the guy offered to send me flowers. :-D Another one said I was a 'very nice young lady' and that he'd ask for me all the time. (Not sure if I'm happy about that one...:-D )

~The only bad thing at this point is that they've not gotten a headset in for me yet...so after about five or six calls, my neck begins to aaaache and I've got a sore spot on my chin. (Yeah, I know you're not suposed to tuck it under your chin...but eh.)

~Also...doesn't look like I mentioned it, but Tuesday, I got One Of THose Calls. The ones where I must not know what I'm doing cause I'm a girl? Yeah, those.

~The guy wanted to install a different version of MySQL than the one we support. I let him know how to do that, and how to prvent it from being rolled back...and then he writes back today and says "OMG DON'T CLOSE THE TICKET!!111 I might have more MySQL questions!!!"

~My response?

"Please be advised that we cannot support you on a version of MySQL that we do not ship."

~Take that. :-P ~