must resist urge to strangel....

[phierce921.livejournal.com]

too long to go through the whole story but here is a recap...

USER: I need you to have my computer set up with everything I need to do my job.
ME: What Specificly do you need access to?
USER: I dont know what it is I need, but I want it, and I want it now!! do it now!
ME:... (starts designing in head a system to send lethal amounts of voltage through phone lines...)

Thank you for wasting our valuable time.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Why is it that a significant chunk of our internal mailbox, helpdesk-address@internal-org, is filled with mail of this form:



Fred: Hey Bob, you have to send email to completely-unrelated-address@internal-org about X, Y and Z.

Bob: OK!


...no, that's it. That's all we get. No, I don't know why, either. But I do have an email template now that says "You have sent mail to the wrong address. Please try sending it to the address you were told to. Thank you for wasting our valuable time. You suck."

(no subject)

[fuego.livejournal.com]

fuego: Is there a disc in the drive?
luser: How do I know?
fuego: You should see an icon of a CD on the desktop.
luser: Yeah, I see that but I thought ther would be some sort of universal symbol or something.

*facepalm*

Just a tip

[sacredlyprofane.livejournal.com]

It's not difficult.
If you are calling about your computer, and looking for tech support...how about having the machine in front of you?
That'd be swell.

(no subject)

[mystii.livejournal.com]

People who insist on putting a "www" in front of EVERY SINGLE URL, even when i spell things out letter by letter and DO NOT say W W W, drive me bloody crazy. Argh.

Also, when you're running windows 98 on a computer with a geriatric hamster powering it, and it takes 20 minutes to reboot, please do not get cranky with me when i ask you to call back when you're done rebooting after installing your software (that has nothing to do with me), that you just decided to install "while i was on the line". It's not like you have to wait on hold.

*grumble*

Ho ho. Very funny. Ha ha. It is to laugh...

[twitchfetish.livejournal.com]

Dear Knobjockey Prometheus II,

I built you from scratch. I gave you tender loving care when you were relegated to the stuffy cardboard prisons in which you were incarcerated as newborns. I'm still paying you off, and will be for a long time. I took you, piece by piece, broke you out of gaol, cleaned and assembled you, making sure to Read The Fucking Manual even though i've been building your like for many years, triple checked all your sockets and connections, installed a brand new brain into you and gave you the life you dreamed of.

I set you up with the care and attention of an interior decorator with serious gender identity issues, matching your desktop shades and shapes and tweaking your UI until it was beautiful to behold. I sheathed your cables in blue UV and the ends in red, so that you may be striking and appealing to the eye.

I regularly kept your BIOSes updated and checked, secured you from the tribulations of an eWorld that doesn't eCare and spent time with you day and night caressing your buttons and switches like they were my own, basking in your cathode glare until I developed a lovely geektan™ and eyes that oscillated at the same frequency as your VSync.

When you got sick, rare as it was, beautiful Prometheus, I cared for you and spent hours tending to you until you were better. For 6 months, we were an inseparable item...

And this is how you repay me?

One spike of dirty power and you die completely. no warning, no apologies, nothing. you just walk out that door. your lack of consideration for my feelings leaves me cold and disappointed that our relationship meant that little to you. And when i finally find what I believe to be the problem - because *I* DIDN'T ABANDON YOU! even after you left me, i stayed by your darkened husk and searched and prodded and built and rebuilt til I found something wrong - For you to take the brand new part I voided a warranty for and spit it back at me in a fit of rigor-mortis inspired pique just takes the cake.

Well fuck you AND your crappy fuse. I'm taking your heart out and you can wait until I can afford a new one. powerspike that you ungrateful bitch.

Insincerely,

Me.

(x-posted to dear_knobjockey and twitchfetish