(no subject)

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

Company Executive support line rings. This line is for Executives in a large fortune 500 corporation, and their executive assistants to facilitate and expedite issues so that the top brass of the company isn't experiencingdowntime with computer hardware/software. Most tech's/phone monkey's assigned to this queue freak out when the phone rings, not knowing if it is our CEO, A high up Vice president, or a member of the board of directors calling in. Me, guess I'm to jaded to care who anyone thinks they are.
The Call:

User: Someone emailed me a spreadsheet, but it is password protected and I don't know the password.
Me: Email them or call them back and ask for the password.
User: Ok, guess I'll do that.


And this from the supposed best and brightest of corporate Amerika. Seriously, we can hire anyone in the world we want, and we chose YOU. Please act like you deserve the seven figure salary we pay you. (Don't deny it, I have access to the HR databases.)

Suck Harder!

[coyoteden.livejournal.com]

To those wrote those goddamn PnP worms:

I would personally like to murder you slowly.

All of you.

With a toothpick.

Sincerely,
Me.

Simple, really

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

"You can't view any websites or receive your email? And your virus scanner can't update because there's no network connection found? Okay, I understand. You have two issues: first, the router isn't getting any power, and second, the ethernet cable is unplugged.

"Yes, I'm sure.

"No, I don't need you to check.

"Yes, I can be certain it isn't anything else.

"Because your router's still at our warehouse. The install tech doesn't deliver it until tomorrow morning."

Thank you, thank you. For my next trick, I'll pull a coherent sentence out of a palsied 80-year old grandmother with spyware issues.

Go Comcast...

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

I figured I'd share with the masses. Thank god I don't work there...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050818/ap_on_fe_st/nasty_bill;_ylt=At3NoCO1TMQAVRN7Iz1v7_us0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3NW1oMDRpBHNlYwM3NTc

(no subject)

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

Me: "COMPANY Service Desk, what's the issue?"
Moron: "You need to contact SECTION_NAME in regards to missing files."
Me: "You can do that yourself, sir. Send email to SECTION_NAME@COMPANY.COM"
Moron:"SECTION_NAME@COMPANY.COM?"
Me: "Yes."
Moron: And that will go to SECTION_NAME?
Me: "No sir, it will go from Santa Claus to the Easter Bunny, then to Canada, and finally Jesus."

Okay, so I made that last part up.

How ****ing stupid do you have to be?

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Everyone: Please quit calling me from your m****rf**king BlackBerry if you want tech support on said BlackBerry.

*implodes*

question...

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

am i the ONLY one here who is sitting back, sipping my fifth cup of coffee, and laughing quietly as i read report after report and release after release of the new win2k worms running (apparently, although i doubt it's so) rampant?

Am i the ONLY one sitting on a home Lan of 6 win2000 computers and one win2003 server that were all FULLY PATCHED the DAY the patch came out a couple of weeks ago and thinking that the actual fault of these infections lies purely with the sysadmins and other such people that did NOT patch their win2k computers immediately or as soon as possible, given the increasingly small window of time between an vulnerability and an exploit?

news flash to customers, patch your damned machines, cause you aren't going to get any sympathy from ME when you get hit by an exploit that was patched weeks earlier.

Valis

Mind over matter.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

This guy calls alot.

ME: "What's the serial number from the bottom of the product"
Sampson the strong man: "You mean I have to lift the product"
ME: "It's easier then lowering the table isn't it?"


ME: "Lets move the cartridge holder to the center manually"
The amazing kreskin "You mean move it with my hand?"
ME: "Well if you can move it with your mind, by all means."

!@#$%@#$%@#$%

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

i am currently explaining to the knology technical support person how to telnet to a mail server on port 25 versus just putting in telnet (mailserver) and having telnet default to port 23 which of course isn't going to work.

shoot.
me.

valis
(xposted to my journal, trying to spread the pain around)
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