Simple, really

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

"You can't view any websites or receive your email? And your virus scanner can't update because there's no network connection found? Okay, I understand. You have two issues: first, the router isn't getting any power, and second, the ethernet cable is unplugged.

"Yes, I'm sure.

"No, I don't need you to check.

"Yes, I can be certain it isn't anything else.

"Because your router's still at our warehouse. The install tech doesn't deliver it until tomorrow morning."

Thank you, thank you. For my next trick, I'll pull a coherent sentence out of a palsied 80-year old grandmother with spyware issues.

Comments

[nightsinger.livejournal.com]

For my next trick, I'll pull a coherent sentence out of a palsied 80-year old grandmother with spyware issues.

Impossible, I say. *looks around for secret wires, as well as the smoke generators and the mirrors.

Well

[pacificwolf.livejournal.com]

The sentence would be coherent, it would just be about something that happened 63 years ago that had no bearing on what's happening the moment it is said.

Re: Well

[110billion.livejournal.com]

Back when I was your aaaaaaaage we didn't have these new fandagled whatchamacallits...
Then go back to your day and leave me alone. Thanks.

One thing I hate about customers is they give you a mini-history of what's happened, everything that's unrelated first, about 3 minutes of that
"yes, now what's happening now?"
"oh, i didn't really look. i know it's still not working though"
...well get me a fucking error message and call back

[anivair.livejournal.com]

Wow. that was amazing.