Dear customer that is getting 20 spam messages a day oh noes,

[pixeltwist.livejournal.com]

Do not call me and bitch because you're getting spam that's not addressed to you.

There's this nice feature called blind carbon copy, however, even if I explain it to you, you're not going to understand.

No, spam is not illegal yet.

There is nothing more I can do from here to make that spam stop. I'm sorry you haven't gotten any responce from fowarding your spam emails at spamwhatever@isp.net. It's not a real person on the other line. It's too bad you can't understand that the thrid time I explained it to you, because it's a wonderful concept.

Yes, I'm sure our spam blocker is taking care of the spam. There is no way to get rid of all of it, I'm sorry.

Everyone gets spam. I get over 200 messages a day and I know it's because I sign up for things online. I shouldn't, but you know what I do instead of calling my ISP and getting angry with someone who can't do a thing about it?

I DELETE THEM!!

I'm sorry that's too hard for you to understand. And hanging up on me in the middle of a sentence is very polite, thank you. Again, my name is Jessica and thanks for calling your ISP.



I had to take 15 after this guys call and go cry, I was so pissed off. It may have to do with the fact that it was 6 in the morning. I don't know why I decided to work overnights. :/

Incompetance is too kind a word

[naggy.livejournal.com]

Does anyone else have a help desk manager that is barely able to check the voice mail, much less operate his computer?

My manager rocks. The general helpdesk manager...is lucky he isn't fried by his computer every morning.

(no subject)

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

I don't get it.

Why do people use their deleted items folder in Outlook as a storage place? Do they use their trash can as a circular file in more than just a euphemistic way? What part of 'Deleted Items' do these people not understand?

Yes, if you've managed to get your mailbox over our very generous 500 MB limit (for our employees), you're going to have to delete things or move them to personal folders. The first thing we'll tell you to do is clean out your deleted items and sent items folder. If we send a tech to help you, that's the very first thing they'll do. Then they'll set you up personal folders and make you move your shit.

Deleted means 'I do not need these.' It does NOT mean 'Remove it from my inbox'. Making folders is amazingly simple in Outlook.

And if you had personal folders, why weren't you using them?

Edited to Update: And... the user called back, having managed to close his mailbox because it was full. He claimed he moved things to personal folders. Whatever. His tech gets to look at it now. This. Is. Not. Hard.

Listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth!

[liakela.livejournal.com]

This is why I drink.

Me: Have you tried to delete the file?
Bint: It won't let me.
Me: Why not? (expecting her to give me, oh... I dunno... an error message. Something)
Bint: Well, I don't know! (laughs as though I'm an idiot for asking)
Me: Ok. When you right-click the file, what happens?
Bint: Nothing.
Me: (sigh) Ok. Shut the computer down all the way, and let me know when it's shut down.
Bint: Ok.
...Many seconds pass...
Me: Has it shut down yet?
Bint: Yes, it's almost at the log-in screen now.
Me: Ok. No. I need you to shut it down. Just shut it down.. and let me know when it's shut down.
Bint: Oh.. ok.
Me: Are you using the docking station?
Bint: Huh? Oh--no.
Me: Ok, can you take the battery out and unplug the power cord?
Bint: What do you mean?
Me: Well.. I'd like you to remove the battery.. and if you have it plugged up to the a/c adapter, please unplug it.
Bint: *huge long-suffering sigh* Alright.
...Many seconds pass, but I hear the telltale sounds of the laptop either being put on or taken off the docking station...
Bint: OK..it's on the docking station now.
Me: ??
Me: Um, ok. No.. I need you to take it off of the docking station. I need for you to have removed the battery, and for -no power to be going to the laptop-.
Bint: OH! Well, I thought it was weird when you were talking about the docking station! (once again, I'm the idiot here, apparently).
Me: Right. Now, I need you to hold the power button down, and tell me when you start.
Bint: Uh... ok.
...Many seconds pass...
Me: ...And I need you to tell me when you start...
Bint: *sighs again* Just a second.
Once -again- I hear the sounds of the computer being placed on the docking station
Bint: Ok, you want me to power it up on the docking station now??
Me: (death-grip on my phone) No.
Me: (taking a moment to breath)
Me: (pondering a career change)
Me: OK. Take it off of the docking station.
Bint: Jeeze. Ok.
Me: Ok. While it's off of the docking station, and with no battery in it, right?
Bint: Right.
Me: Right, and no a/c power going to it, right?
Bint: Right.
Me: I need you to press down on the power button now, with NO POWER GOING TO THE LAPTOP.
Bint: Oh. Ok. (apparently, I should have just said that in the first place, according to her tone)

after this lovely exercise, she was, of course, able to delete the file.

Sigh.

Correct morning enjoyment

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

Okay, this one should work...

breaking breaking news

[japester.livejournal.com]

literally.

the freshly released Apple hardware[0] will only run tiger. well that's just great. we had no plans on upgrading to 10.4 until later this year once some of the more pressing bugs had been worked out and our critical we need these applications were tested and known to work.
Yay, frickin' yay.

i'm getting annoyed with flash on ppc linux too. it regularly hangs my firefox and that's just not cricket.


[0] iMacs, G5 desktops and eMacs. unupdated hardware is still fine.

(no subject)

[katyism.livejournal.com]

The university retired support for Pine as an email client, and replaced all the IMAP servers that had Pine access with one big IMAP server with no terminal access whatsoever. It was a huge undertaking and news about the Pine retirement was spammed all over the place for the last 6 months. Everybody, even people who don't know what Pineis, knew that it was being retired. The implication of this is that the diehard Pine users here are being forced to switch to a graphical, local email client, or use the webmail interface. Needless to say lots of people call my helpdesk all the time hating that, and there is nothing we can do for them except train them on how to use webmail or setup a desktop client. Most of them whinge about it for a while and grudgingly try to learn to use a new client. But not this lady.

( conversation )

Batshit lady.

The kicker is that I promised I'd file the complaints on her behalf, and when I did, my co-workers bitched at me for me sending the complaint through, because whoever's on email duty gets the complaint forms and has to file them and forward them to the appropriate department. Apparently it's not cool for me to send one little message that they have to click 2 things on and be done with, but it's OK if crazy professor lady sends it herself. I was just doing my job and trying to placate the user.

OK, this is fucked up, even for tech support

[citizenbleys.livejournal.com]

ME: [ISP] tech support, Bleys speaking, how can I help you today?
CX: How do I get Satan out of my computer?
ME: ...

Skools any won?

[c0c0c0.livejournal.com]

Some people need to go back to the third grade....

I got this in our e-mail today....


Subject: Phone discouced

Hi I am **name** my Account # My Phone was turend
off on May 4 and they been telling me it is becouse I moved frome **old** to **new** My services was transfer on
April 6 and I had all kinds of prolems geting
it hooked up and then a mouth later you turen off my phone and tell me it
wont be put back on teill some wear arowend the May 18 that is not right
if it is not on to day I am going to go some whear ells for my phone
service I use to tell every one how great you wear now I am going to tell
them to go some wear ells now

**name**

***response***

**her reply***


you had 7 days when I told I was moving in april; and went down and payed
for that mouth i got a bill for the phone this mouth if it is not on today I
will go some wear elles **name**

______________****edit***____________________________

new message:

I wish you people get your faxs and recods wright arowed March 20 I caled
and told you that I was move to**address** and you shote my
int &ph off for back bill I whent down ON March 31 and payed you 225.00 for
the back and April bills so you so you said you would put it on April 6 wich
it was really put on Aporil 11 so you had more thaen 7 days to do what ever
you had to do and on May 6 you turened my ph off and I wont it put on wright
a way **name**