OK, this is fucked up, even for tech support

[citizenbleys.livejournal.com]

ME: [ISP] tech support, Bleys speaking, how can I help you today?
CX: How do I get Satan out of my computer?
ME: ...

Comments

[jjjiii]

You mean, SATAN?

[citizenbleys.livejournal.com]

No, she acutally meant the Prince of Darkness himself.

I am in awe.

[jjjiii]

Yeah, but it's still funny that it could have been a legitimate question.

[citizenbleys.livejournal.com]

I'm buggered up by the fact that I could not get a coherent problem description out of her other than that "Satan is in my computer"

I wound up referring her to a tech and hoping like Hell (pun intended) that this was a troll.

Re: Hrmm...

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I like the idea of dousing it in holy water. Gets them off your back and onto the nearest religious establishment, and if she's overenthusiastic with the 'treatment', her PC will shortly have nothing inhabiting it whatsoever.

"Holy water should really only be handled by religious professionals, ma'am."

Re: Hrmm...

[infy.livejournal.com]

"Shortly", indeed!

Too bad he didn't hear the rest of the user's complaints.

[eikichi-onizuka.livejournal.com]

Install Linux.

[citizenbleys.livejournal.com]

I've been tempted to do that from time to time.

"Install Linux. Oh, you're too dumb to make it work? So sorry. Linux is not supported."

[katyism.livejournal.com]

what did she mean by that?

[citizenbleys.livejournal.com]

I couldn't get a straight answer out of her.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, we don't cover the removal of Satan at this help desk. You need to call your local priest".

I want a call like that. It would be too funny.

[jecook]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Query.

Almost sounds like one of my users when they've screwed up their machines.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Quit listening to so much INXS.

[thecrazyfinn.livejournal.com]

Alanis Morissette.

Hey, it worked for Riff (http://www.sluggy.com)

[kallell.livejournal.com]

Go to Control Panel
Click Add/Remove programs
Find all programs labeled "AOL"
Click remove on each

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

OH! Thank you for that response!

AOL is satan.

I hate that s*!

[kallell.livejournal.com]

glad i could help

[rhonan.livejournal.com]

Buy a Mac.

[usekh.livejournal.com]

Trading Satan for Steve Jobs...hard decision really.

[110billion.livejournal.com]

its gotta be OS X based :\

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

As mentioned above, you can contact your local church to help remove Satan from your computer.

However, you can remove it yourself. You just need the right tools. go to http://www.ulc.org/ and follow the steps under "Instant Ordination"
Although not necessary, it may be easier by ordering the Sanctified Mountain Spring Holy Water for $6.95 as well. http://www.ulc.org/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=23&products_id=132


(And just as a disclamer, I actually support the ULC, so I'm not intending to rip on them.)

[citizenbleys.livejournal.com]

...so you can become a legally ordained minister just by filling out a web form? The potential for abuse is monumental.

Of course, this, coming from a Taoist, has some measure of hypocrisy...but self-ordained Taoist monks don't have any legal privileges in Canada, at least.

[usekh.livejournal.com]

Well first you need a young priest and an old priest...

[rileydag.livejournal.com]

Tell this person to have their child remove the new wallpaper from the new Triple X movie, Satan should be gone then.


:-P