Ugh, it's way too early for this.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

It's only 9am for crap sakes! I'm here until 5pm.

Who let the stupid out of the bag this morning?

"I just moved and my email is not working."

Ok, this is a typical problem. Sales is good enough to transfer over the emails which is all fine and dandy, but the server that hosts the email usually doesn't catch on and we have to resend the login. This requires a password reset. We set it to the word 'password'

After 15 minutes, and asking this guy what he's typing in for his password (he has the username right) he just says that he's typing in the password. I say in a stern voice, (no f*in around this time)

WHAT ARE YOU TYPING IN FOR THE PASSWORD? THE PASSWORD IS PASSWORD. YOUR PASSWORD IS THE WORD PASSWORD. P A S S W O R D.

"Oh, my password is password?"

I said that at the beginning of the call you stupid moron! I explained how the password must get reset to reactivate your email account. But maybe you didn't hear that because your tied up, blinded and gagged. We know you like it that way according to your email. You have 60 emails, and almost all of them involved bondage in the subject line...

It still ceases to amaze me, that not just you but every other customer can't listen to me!

This just makes my job search for anything besides talking on the phone even stronger.

/rant

this is true. i swear.

[twitchfetish.livejournal.com]

techsupport nob for the week:

Customer calls up. They have been having trouble with their new desktop form-factor machine. They can't get CDs in the drive. One of our techs (guy who sits behind me) goes through standard diags. it's not that it's not recognised, it's that she can't get the CD in the tray. at all.

After a while, the tech described the tray to her (central clip-in model. like on a laptop). she can't find the clip. at all.

more investigation ensues - faulty part? not usually possible due to quality control. a missing spindle tends to be noticed.

figured out the problem. she had the machine set up UPSIDE DOWN on the desk. no i'm no joking. this is not an easy thing to do. the machine has rubber feet and is tapered outwards towards the bottom. she's read off the m/t and s/n sticker. upside down. without making the connection.

our tech felt like closing the call with "thanks for calling WBI!"

*headdesk*

IV

aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[oggsmith.livejournal.com]

It's few and far between that I am on the other side of the tech support phone call. But I recently decided that I no longer needed to pay for hosted web space and I would host on-site at my house. This of no issue to me so I got it all set up and everything worked just fine. Now, I needed to get a DNS entry on my ISP's authoritive DNS server to point at my IP address.

This is where things become to get interesting. I call into my local ISP's tech support and begin to question what I need to do in order to get my DNS entry on their server.

( it shouldn't be this way )

(no subject)

[annamaryse.livejournal.com]

Where I work, our software is used primarily in the entertainment industry and we're a small second tier team. ONE of my coworkers is like, starstruck, a real name-dropper and celebrity hound, and every time she gets to talk to someone she thinks is important, she struts around. Even if it's someone who has like so-what crappy credits on IMDB. This isn't a stupid user post. This is me getting it off my chest, because like, I don't care who it is, like, I talked to Will Ferrell one day, like whatever. They're just users. BFD. At the end of the day they eat, shit, and call tech support to ask stupid questions just like the rest of us. And their questions are sometimes worse than stupid, because some of these people think they are too important to RTFM. Anyhow, she annoys the piss out of me. She's really a pain in the ass. I'm only barely scratching the surface of it. But I feel better after venting. Thank you all for listening.

*Cringe*

[ladynisa.livejournal.com]

Stole from my friend's LJ. :) I like #4


DRAWBACKS TO WORKING IN A CUBICLE
1. Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the @#$%? box all day!

2. Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.

3. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.

4. That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.

5. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.

6. My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.

7. Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip without comment.

8. Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.

9. 23 power cords, 1 outlet.

10. Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

11. When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.

12. Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

(no subject)

[das-prompt.livejournal.com]

Dear Valued Customer,

Just to let you know, when you call your ISP to tell them you're having connection problems, don't use "My LimeWire downloads are stuck at 99%" as your example.

Thanks!
das_prompt

Trippy the clown says you must be THIS SMART to work here

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

( Resume email of DOOM )

I spent the afternoon throwing up and thought they'd finally sapped a little bit too much of my life-force, but it turns out I'm just sick. They haven't beaten me yet.