(no subject)

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

From the recent posts, it seems an abnormally larger then usual number of community members have been having a rough week. Therefore, I am reposting something I put in here about six months ago, with a few new additions. (Thanks to those who submitted suggestions.) Please feel free to redistribute where needed.

( 119 things not allowed, and other observations )

parsimony regimentation quotation of ziegler ocarina brainstorm is icarus bikini vegetate - Oh my!

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

I'm sure most of you guys have seen this form of spam mail. I have great fun reading it aloud to my coworkers in a hammy Richard Attenborough accent.

( Read more... )

My question is how does this make anyone money? Are they trawling for replies? Is it Wintermute finally activating and attempting to make contact?

Or, more plausibly, is it spammers introducing noise to spam filtering systems? Can anyone confirm or enlighten?

i will smash that device into a thousand tiny pieces

[xdownfornowx.livejournal.com]

My CEO must have chromosome damage, or at least a few extra chromosome. A Pocket PC is not a difficult device to figure out. It is a very simple to use stripped down version of Windows. Any ass jockey that has used windows for 5 years should be able to figure out how to navigate the interface in a very short period of time.

running through my head as I speak with his assistant about the sync problem:
I'm sorry that you are having sync problems. Quit fucking with the settings! And further more shit fingers, when you have a problem do not immeadiately call me in to fix it. Stop, take a few minutes and read the documentation I left with you. It isn't hard. Anyone with a 4th grade reading level can follow the pretty pictures and successfully accomplish any task. Also, having me give you a "refresher course" every month obviously isn't helping the matter. I suggest you invest some personal responcibility for this device and learn something about it. It is more than a way for you to get your e-mail while out of the office. It is not a "tip calculator". Me coddling you through it will not increase performance for you or I if I have to run over there every time the POS does not sync. Please for the love of all that is holy learn the damn system. I am busy trying to keep your shitty network up. Let me do my job. So, Mr. CEO, until you learn it, you and your Pocket PC can tongue-punch my dirthole.

How did you get so stupid?

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

I'm all for people learning how to build their own computers. But people, please. That's what manuals are for. When you bring your system in complaining that it won't POST and I find you've jammed the RAM in so hard you broke the slot getting the clips up, I'm going to put the memory in the spare slot and charge you the maximum amount I can. Bad! No!

Funny Story

[sketchydave.livejournal.com]

I just read polarbee's post and I remembered a funny story. When I got out of college I got a job as a part time tech at Best Buy until I could find something full time. This is about the time that DDR memory had taken place over PC100. Why do I mention this, you'll find out in a minute.

My first day on the job and I had to do upgrade a computer's memory. Now at this particular Best Buy they have the "tech bench" in the middle of computers. So that customers can be all mystified when you open up their machines and ask all sorts of questions. Which is a real pain because all I want to do is be left alone and fix it.

Anyway, its an E-Machine. The customer is very happy about this because he got the very last of the older model. Apparently it had a better video card or something compared to what was coming out. So I open up the machine to put the RAM in. Now it had been a couple months since I had upgraded the memory on a PC, and the last time it was PC100. You cannot screw that up. Because it had the 3 connectors (blanking on the real name) that plugged into the slot. Small, medium, and large. But the DDR sticks only have 2 , one bigger, and one slightly smaller.

So I plug the RAM in the 2nd slot, close it up and turn it on. Hmmm...won't Post. Wait, whats that smell? I look over and there be smoke coming out of the brand new E-Machine!

I unplug it, open it up and I've fried the RAM and the motherboard. Did I mention this was my first day?

One of two things happened:
1) Defective motherboard
2) I put in the RAM backwards. Although even if I did that the result should not be fire

I'll never know because the RAM was pretty much a briquet. I was slightly mortified by this, fortunatley no one cared and everyone thought it was hillarious. Tower got sent back as defective. Customer wasn't thrilled at first until I explained that this could have happened when he was at home instead.

(no subject)

[axessdenyd.livejournal.com]

OK, no offense to anyone who might work at a Best Buy, but...

The people at our Best Buy seem to be freaking retarded when it comes
to selling things.

Worked at a small computer store right next to the Best Buy, and about
half of our customers came in after they'd been there and been either
turned away or had a problem BB couldn't fix.


"Do you sell DDR memory?  That's what my computer says it uses."
"Yes, we have a lot in stock."
"Good, at Best Buy they told me that DDR was only for printers."


"Will a new monitor work on my computer if it's about 3 years old?"
"Yes."
"Best Buy said I'd need a whole new computer because they're different
now."
"The majority are the same, but if you want a really nice flat panel
with a DVI connector, I can still sell you a $10 adapter to make it
work."



"I went to four different places and no one will look at my computer
because it's too old."
"It doesn't look that old, let's see...  It's a bad power supply.  A
standard ATX power supply that everyone around here has in stock."



It also seems that their troubleshooting procedure is pretty simple:

Step 1:  Reload Windows
if step 1 fails proceed to

Step 2:  Tell the customer it's a bad motherboard.


I got about 6 or 7 computers with "bad motherboards" that ahd been to
Best Buy before.  That was 3 bad CPUs, 1 bad video card, some bad
memory, and one bad motherboard (the CPU was also bad in that one).
Now, really, is their corporate policy to just move as many computers
through as possible without giving a shit if they work or not, or is
the one in my town just idiotic?

If it's just the one here then no offense to any BB workers out there. 
;-)

Show of hands people?

[jonyoon.livejournal.com]

Ever get a user/customer who decides that tech support means "Full blown training instructor in all things technology"?
( My Story )

Hands? Anyone, anyone? ...Buhler?