Former AOL clients make me cringe

[infusco.livejournal.com]

I do tech support for a large ISP. I also handle part of the support mail, such as this one:

I just switched from Aol to ******. I do not find you user friendly at all. Aol was. The booklet you sent does not explain much of anything. When I go on the internet, most of the time, there is no X to get out of a site. I have to shut the computer off to get off the site. I am considering switching back to AOL. Your price is better, but frustrating to say the least. Even this e-mail has no X to get out of. The big Monkey search on the screen , if you click it off, the computer shuts down.

Random passwords

[boredevilperson.livejournal.com]

In our system we have a random password generator that we use when we're creating a new login.

The other week it spat back at me "inbred6" for a password. Today it spat out "crotch2" I was telling a coworker of mine about that and she remembered a story from years ago.

At one of her previous companies they had people call in when they got a new e-mail login to be assigned their password. One of her coworkers had a guy on the phone. So she sets him up with his password and says "Ok your new password is T-E-N-N-I-S" (spelled it didn't say it)

User - "I can't use that"
Tech - "What?"
User - "I can't bring myself to type that word in every day. I'd like to request a different password"

This goes back and forth for a while with the tech thinking "What the heck is wrong with Tennis??? How loony is this guy?"

Tech - "Sir I have to ask because I sure don't understand. What is wrong with Tennis?"
User - "Oh dear . . . I thought you said P not T"

OE vs. Outlook

[justsomegurl.livejournal.com]

Caller: I talked to a tech yesterday after I got my new computer and setup my e-mail, but today I installed Microsoft office and now I don't have an e-mail account anymore.
Me: Microsoft office includes an e-mail program called Outlook. Looks like you our tech had you setup Outlook Express yesterday. Go to all programs and find Outlook Express and open that program.
Caller: oh duh!

*giggles*

Recurrence

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

This happens to me about once every two weeks:

Customer: Are you having trouble with e-mail? I got a new computer a month ago and I haven't gotten any e-mail since then!
Me: What mail program are you using?
Customer: Outlook Express (Outlook, Netscape, whatever).
Me: Did you ever configure your mail program to receive mail?
Customer: It doesn't do it automatically?

two birds with one stone

[justsomegurl.livejournal.com]

I do not like Verizon. I had the lovely occasion to have a 3-way blame fest between Verizon, me, and customer. Customer has been trying to cancel DSL for 2 weeks. Our people informed her that she would need to call Verizon so they can cancel the line charge. They of course insist that they do not have the customer in the system because DSL is with our company. ok. yes we provide DSL. They have a DSL account with us, but she has a bill in her hand that she is being charged for the "upgrade" to DSL on the phone line, so how can you bill the lady if she isn't in your damn system???? How does she even calling us if she is not in your computer. you are the phone company. if you don't have her number in your system where is her phone service coming from, your a**?

Our ISP bought out a ton of little mom and pop ISPs. so one of the dinky isp's has a pop that goes down all the time, so I give this customer the number for our main POP which works 98% of the time. So all honkey dorey he's got the "better" number to dial into, so I have him test it out. He dials in and right away you can hear crackling on the line. I start to ask about the phone line and get the I'm a systems administrator, I've got a $4,000 computer I know it's not me. Ok. I don't read minds here, so I call the number from my phone. Sure enough the new "better" number I am being so nice to give him is down. The line picks up with nothing but crackling and static. Now I feel like an a**.

Tech quote of the minute

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

My co-worker on the phone, regarding Ad-Aware:

"Ma'am, it doesn't add spyware, it makes spyware go away."

(x-posted)