(no subject)

[jecook]

mega_rob_darken has been baninated, and the community has been reconfigured for no-posting access for new members until approved by a moderator. I've initiated a discussion with the rest of the team to see what the best course of action should be to take to hopefully prevent future occurrences of this from happening. (cause it skewed my friends page too, even if I've got the images turned off for this reason.. :)

Y'all, As much as I *really* hate administrative tasks, It's apparently come down to that.

And it wasn't even *good* porn, nor was it funny. (unless in a b-tard sense of funny, but that does *not* count.) Methinks someone is cranky because they got Der Boot over the weekend from my housekeeping.

Hopefully, I won't be late to work.

Uh.

[toxico.livejournal.com]

...Did I really just hear my coworkers having trouble spelling C3PO?

I did. Fuck.

(no subject)

[random-c.livejournal.com]

This morning about 7am, just as I'd crawled from my pit, and before I'd started on my first cup of tea, my Dad phoned me and almost immediately passed me to one of his customers.
He works in a Builder's Merchant, but seems to feel the need to tell a lot of people about his amazing IT-savvy daughter.
This muppet had tried to updated his antivirus, apparently, and afterwards couldn't even get into safe mode, the machine just kept rebooting. So he'd run the restore pack, and now wanted to know where all his files had gone.
"Ah," I said, though it probably came out more like 'uuurgh' - "Did it tell you when you ran it that you'd lose all your data?"
"Yeah," he said "But I'm not worried about the data, I just want my photographs and stuff back."
I calmly explained that WAS his data, and that if he'd not made a backup, the photos were gone and that was that, but that if he'd brought it to me when it wasn't booting, I could have got his files off first. I was about to reccomend he invest in a USB drive when he swore and hung up on me. Ah, just like old times...

fuck you in the goat ass, microsoft

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

So I'm doing a major hardware upgrade for a customer. They've got a box with a single-core processor, they want a dual-core processor; they're gonna need a new motherboard to go with it since they're going from the older 939 socket to AM2. No big.

Change the hardware, reinstall Windows XP Pro, and of course it doesn't want to activate over the internet. No big; you call the number, you give the computer on the other end of the phone a bunch of numbers, it gives you a bunch of numbers, life is good. Done it a jillion times. Give the machine my numbers. It says "this product has been activated before, I'm going to have to ask you some questions." Well, this is a change; last time I did this they forwarded me from the machine-lady to a call-center-in-India-lady; but okay. How many machines is this copy of Windows installed on? "One." Is this the first time you've activated this copy of Windows? "No." Has there been a major hardware change since the last time you activated this copy of Windows? "Yes." Have you replaced the motherboard in this machine since you last activated this copy of Windows? "Yes." Was the motherboard defective? "No."

I'm sorry, I cannot activate your copy of Windows. When you purchased Windows, you were subject to certain licensing restrictions which you are not in accordance with; please contact your vendor to purchase a new copy of Windows.

Are you fucking SHITTING me? Well, fine goddammit, this is some serious bullshit highway robbery given that a new copy of Windows costs literally every PENNY as much as the new hardware does; but it's not like it's my money. Call the customer, explain that Microsoft would like to insert penis in their ass, get their approval to guide Microsoft's cock all the way in (aka spend $150 on a completely bullshit new copy of Windows), buy new copy of Windows, click "Change Product Key", put in new Product Key from new copy of Windows. Internet Activation Successful.

Install Windows Update from the website. It wants to reboot. Okay. Computer reboots. "This copy of Windows will need to be activated before you can log on." What the FUCK? You already activated! Well, okay, fine. "This copy of Windows has already been activated." No shit, sherlock. AND IT LOGS ME BACK OUT. Click the username to log on again... "This copy of Windows will need to be activated before you can log on." ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. Endless loop. No, rebooting doesn't help.

So, now, I am reinstalling Windows from fucking scratch again on this goddamn machine, three hours of my life down the goddamn drain. Fuck you, Microsoft, I was one of your staunchest advocates from the mid-nineties through the early 2000s, but at this point I cannot wait for you to die in a goddamn fire. Nothing but people's dependence on third-party software you did not develop is mooring anyone to your DRM-riddled crapware platform anymore, and it will fucking please me IMMENSELY watching more and more people realize this and get the hell rid of you like I did in my own house.

Times when you shouldn't call tech support

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

• While you're driving a car (my personal favorite as stupid moves go)


• While you're at the office, if the product is at home


• Above, vice versa


• While you're moving to a new house


• While you're remodeling a house


• While you're eating (ugh .. nausea)


• While you're waiting for your new product to be shipped and you don't actually have it yet


• While your kids are playing a MMORPG and can't be knocked off the LAN (if you want me to be at all helpful fixing routing issues, at least)


• While your kids are in attention-starved mode and won't let you concentrate on anything much more complicated than scratching your head


• ^kids are^spouse is^


• ^spouse^dog^


• ^dog^cat^

I probably forgot some things, but you get the idea. Especially the eating thing .. put the fscking sandwich down at least while you're talking.

(I was going to add certain regional accents and personality characteristics, but I'm virtually certain to offend people if I include those and it would generate more heat than light ..)

More Stupid Customer Tricks

[bitchtude.livejournal.com]

So while working for $Small_Local_Repair_Company, I get a call from $Retired_Lady. Her wireless mouse & keyboard are not working. Since I hate wasting my time and not getting any money for going out on $Stupid_Shit calls, I did the standard phone questions of "Did you press the connect button?", "Do they have fresh batteries & are they in the right way?", "Did you check the cables?", and so forth. She swore she checked all that and didn't have any other mouse or keyboard to use. Okay, fine, at least I'll make a little commission along with the regular pay so I go out to the job. First thing I do is plug in a USB mouse to make sure the USB ports work. Mouse kicks in, no problem. And just to be sure, I click the connect button on the receiver and on the mouse & keyboard. Mouse works but no keyboard. Pop the battery cover off and the damn things are in backwards. *sigh* "Problem fixed, ma'am. Your keyboard batteries were in backwards. That'll be $XX."

2 weeks later she calls again only this time it's just her keyboard. I go through all the same questions. She gives all the same answers. So I go out again. Try the connect button and this time it didn't work. I flip the keyboard over as she's telling me that she just put new batteries in the keyboard. The little plastic latch for the battery cover is jammed UNDER the plastic back of the keyboard. WTF? I have no idea how in the hell she could do that. I explained that I'll have to break it to get the batteries out. She says okay, I have her sign on the invoice that it was okay to break it (CYA!!!) and finally get to see the batteries. And yep... they're in backwards. again. *headdesk* This time I SHOW her how to put the batteries in and tape the cover back on. "Problem fixed, ma'am. That'll be $XX."

I kind you not, 2 more weeks and she calls for the THIRD time. I specifically asked "Did you check to make sure the batteries are in just like the diagram shows?" Her reply: "Oh yes, my friend checked it out and he says the batteries are fine." *bitchgripemoan* Go out there and take the battery cover off.... I don't need to tell you what I found. I explained AGAIN how that batteries need to go in. "Problem fixed, ma'am. That'll be $XX."

"Why do I have to keep paying for you to fix the same problem?"

Wanted to say: "Ummm.... cause you're an idiot and need to not let 'friends' work on your computer."

She's lucky I was nice. I could have charged her double what I did for each call, which is what they agree to over the phone when they schedule the appointments. And I should have done it and considered it the ID10T tax.