Reinitializing Sequence...

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

So, it turns out that this coming Sunday will be my last day working graveyard shift - then I start a Tuesday-Saturday 8-5 shift.

This is mostly a good thing, graveyard was killing my marriage, what with the never seeing my wife and all that. But I'm going to miss the graveyard shift - the dark, the pervestity, the lack of any and all etiquitte with my coworkers.

I'm frightened of having to reinstall my "Daytime Filters" - I KNOW I'm going to slip and let something fly that would be FINE with the night crew but ruffle some feathers on the day team.

So, I have a solution. In the vein of The Skippy List, I've started a whiteboard of "Things OMG is NOT ALLOWED to do on the Day Shift"

My entries so far are:
1) Sell countries he doesn't own
2) Yell movie quotes randomly whilst answering email
3) Do the (now infamous) "Barbie Girl" dance

OK, that last one is gleefully yoinked from Skippy, but DAMN it's funny.

The overnight team says that maybe they'll send me to work on Tuesday morning in a ball gag, with a note that says "Do Not Open Until 5PM" to be safe.

Any more ideas for my list?

I'm seeing RED

[mix-hyenataur.livejournal.com]

I'm usually in the market for defrag/update/spyware+virus removal/upgrade/install services. Yeah, I'm a techie, though I really don't know what I should charge in rates since I move between a small country town in Indiana to the expensive Chicago, so i usually say "Pay me whatever." Which I should stop saying.

I recently repaired a friend's computer, what a total nightmare.

Apparently this guy has never heard of "Windows Updating" or "AVG" in the least. Instead, cramming his ill-gotten hard-drive with Norton to watch over his porn collection on a cheap bootleg of Windows, which won't let him update the newest security fixes. His OS is like a Goatse to malware and viruses.

His wife is scared shitless for she tells me from the 4 computers in the house, he nukes and reinstalls every time there is a problem, aka every 2-5 days. She's been so worried that she "deleted the internet" off her laptop, and will never let it touch a Cat5e cable due to risk of her laptop getting anal-raped by their home network.

I've never sympathized for Norton Antivirus before, pulling up over 30 viruses with each scan.

I said I'd install a semi-legit copy of windows (XP Black), or the legit version if they prefer, but they've preferred to do it as they always do: Nuke/reinstall... every three days.

When I started defragging, it was all in red. I could see blood hemorrhaging from the computer as well. (3ghz, 512 ram, 300gb hd)

She called me 3 days later to tell me that: "The 'Defragmentation' says it's finally completed."

I dropped the phone, and my jaw. You gotta be shitting me...

She wasn't.

TWITCH

[mouser.livejournal.com]

In what corner of the realm is it considered a good idea to hang drycleaning from exposed ethernet wiring?

Remember, it could always be worse...

[shirenomad]

We could be developers.

(This season, remind your dev brothers and sisters that they are not alone.)

It's Always The Little Things

[synthclarion.livejournal.com]

Names redacted to protect the otherwise innocent and knowledgeable...

( IRC log )

To be fair, our chap was always a Debian man, but this exchange entertained me :)

Bad user, no cookie!

[dragonbofh.livejournal.com]

So I get a call from a panicked manager this morning about ZOMFG Files is missings!!! When I go to see him I find that he's one of the users with a My Documents folder synchronised to a file-server... or at least should be. Somehow he's managed to un-link the My Docs without knowing how and has pointed it to a random folder on his C: drive.

( NO, not even lick the spoon! )

(no subject)

[margaretc.livejournal.com]

Now, I'm not exactly a huge xmas fan, but who schedules a rollout of a new website for 24 Dec? At a University? Which will be closed that day??