I'm seeing RED

[mix-hyenataur.livejournal.com]

I'm usually in the market for defrag/update/spyware+virus removal/upgrade/install services. Yeah, I'm a techie, though I really don't know what I should charge in rates since I move between a small country town in Indiana to the expensive Chicago, so i usually say "Pay me whatever." Which I should stop saying.

I recently repaired a friend's computer, what a total nightmare.

Apparently this guy has never heard of "Windows Updating" or "AVG" in the least. Instead, cramming his ill-gotten hard-drive with Norton to watch over his porn collection on a cheap bootleg of Windows, which won't let him update the newest security fixes. His OS is like a Goatse to malware and viruses.

His wife is scared shitless for she tells me from the 4 computers in the house, he nukes and reinstalls every time there is a problem, aka every 2-5 days. She's been so worried that she "deleted the internet" off her laptop, and will never let it touch a Cat5e cable due to risk of her laptop getting anal-raped by their home network.

I've never sympathized for Norton Antivirus before, pulling up over 30 viruses with each scan.

I said I'd install a semi-legit copy of windows (XP Black), or the legit version if they prefer, but they've preferred to do it as they always do: Nuke/reinstall... every three days.

When I started defragging, it was all in red. I could see blood hemorrhaging from the computer as well. (3ghz, 512 ram, 300gb hd)

She called me 3 days later to tell me that: "The 'Defragmentation' says it's finally completed."

I dropped the phone, and my jaw. You gotta be shitting me...

She wasn't.

Comments

[captpackrat.livejournal.com]

Give them an Ubuntu Live disk, it will nuke itself every time they reboot.

[two-pi-r.livejournal.com]

That machine seriously needs more than 512 megs of RAM.

[crywolf.livejournal.com]

Or one less user.

[two-pi-r.livejournal.com]

That too, but if it's going to have any users at all, it should have at least 1.5 gigs. :P

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

well played, sir - well played!

[thecrazyfinn.livejournal.com]

If all he does is nuke it and reinstall virii it should get by fine with 32MB of RAM and Win98. It's not like it'll ever be used for anything more with that sort of reinstall schedule (unless of course this guy has discovered Ghost and is just imaging).

[coyoteden.livejournal.com]

*backs away slowly for several reasons*

[misfit4leaf.livejournal.com]

Jesus Cristo.

[luminousx.livejournal.com]

And I was just thinking the other day... where do all the zombie computers come from... AVG is free! Now I know.

[kurush.livejournal.com]

Reinstalling several computers every 2-5 days, does he realy need a wife?

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

She sounds smarter then him