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Dec. 4th, 2007
Amusing ticket from the support monkeys..
Dec. 4th, 2007 10:00 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
darkrose.livejournal.comThis was submitted through our trouble ticket system:
Dear sir/madam;
I need some money now because Im very poor. I need only 1 € (one euru) or what amount you want to send money for
help me. I can pray for you to god bless you. Because I havent got money. If you want to send money 1 € to me
this is my bank account number
Bank Name : GARANTI BANK/TURKEY , Account No : [REMOVED] , Currency : EURO
I will wait your help. And pray for you. God bless you
-----------------
Mmm..Cyberbegging.
Dear sir/madam;
I need some money now because Im very poor. I need only 1 € (one euru) or what amount you want to send money for
help me. I can pray for you to god bless you. Because I havent got money. If you want to send money 1 € to me
this is my bank account number
Bank Name : GARANTI BANK/TURKEY , Account No : [REMOVED] , Currency : EURO
I will wait your help. And pray for you. God bless you
-----------------
Mmm..Cyberbegging.
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falnfenixapparently the stupid has followed me into work today.
user: the helpdesk for $Software says something about a T1 being down.
me: OK, the only T1 "thing" we have is the network. they said OURS is down?
user: yep!
me: ok, can you open IE and get Google to come up?
user: yes
me: . . . OK, how about Groupwise?
user: yep, everything works but $Software
*headdesk*
the sad thing is, the helpdesk from $Software actually called (after this user) to tell us OUR T1 is down. mind you, we do not manage the actual network - there's another dept that covers the network infrastructure. we not-so-kindly reminded the helpdesk employee that as he is in-house, he's on the same network our users are, and if our network happened to be down, chances are his would be down as well. i imagine that if he were in front of me, he'd have had a blank expression as a reaction. i absolutely hate dealing with institution-wide helpdesks...they are staffed with pod people.
user: the helpdesk for $Software says something about a T1 being down.
me: OK, the only T1 "thing" we have is the network. they said OURS is down?
user: yep!
me: ok, can you open IE and get Google to come up?
user: yes
me: . . . OK, how about Groupwise?
user: yep, everything works but $Software
*headdesk*
the sad thing is, the helpdesk from $Software actually called (after this user) to tell us OUR T1 is down. mind you, we do not manage the actual network - there's another dept that covers the network infrastructure. we not-so-kindly reminded the helpdesk employee that as he is in-house, he's on the same network our users are, and if our network happened to be down, chances are his would be down as well. i imagine that if he were in front of me, he'd have had a blank expression as a reaction. i absolutely hate dealing with institution-wide helpdesks...they are staffed with pod people.
(no subject)
Dec. 4th, 2007 11:37 amguinevere33.livejournal.comCow-orker: Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find an old picture I saved on the computer that's hooked up to the scanner.
Me:You mean the one with thousands of photos saved to it? Do you remember the file name?
CW: No.
Me: Do you remember where you saved it?
CW: Er...actually, this would have been saved to the OLD scanner computer.
Me: I copied all those files over to the new machine, so it should be on there in the same place.
CW: But I saved it on the OLD computer!
Me: *prays for serenity* Do you know what directory you saved it in?
CW: Er...actually, it's not my file I'm looking for.
Me: ...
CW: Old Cow-orker e-mailed me and asked me to find this file for her.
Me:Old CW hasn't been here for a YEAR and she just missed this document? Did she tell you anything ABOUT the file?
CW: Just that it was a picture of her dog. You can do a search for all the pictures of dogs, right?
Some days, I weep for humanity. Both of these coworkers have PhDs.
Me:
CW: No.
Me: Do you remember where you saved it?
CW: Er...actually, this would have been saved to the OLD scanner computer.
Me: I copied all those files over to the new machine, so it should be on there in the same place.
CW: But I saved it on the OLD computer!
Me: *prays for serenity* Do you know what directory you saved it in?
CW: Er...actually, it's not my file I'm looking for.
Me: ...
CW: Old Cow-orker e-mailed me and asked me to find this file for her.
Me:
CW: Just that it was a picture of her dog. You can do a search for all the pictures of dogs, right?
Some days, I weep for humanity. Both of these coworkers have PhDs.
calm. the fuck. down.
Dec. 4th, 2007 01:09 pmebtb.livejournal.comOk, your personal computer being hacked is not a matter of national security. Yelling at us about our software's imperfections doesn't have an impact Vista's shortcomings. GTFO n00b and bother MS.
I suggest your company talks to McAfee about the McAfee crash and loss of its firewall on Vista and failures in security proven by the fact that more data has been UPLOADED from an apparently protected Vista computer than has been DOWNLOADED even when the user downloads several HUGE DVDs. It could be something to do with Google search hosted Chinese malware search entries that penetrate both Windows defender and McAfee FIREWALLs! or McAfee is playing funny games with my private data.
I suggest you STFU and stop wasting my time when this has nothing to do with our $20 anti-malware software. You weren't satisfied with the trial? Fine. Don't fucking buy it and uninstall it.
This is a very serious accusation - a national security threat! Google have acted promptly to stop the rogue search entries but Windows defender and McAfee are full of holes and the sense of security is so FALSE it is a big LIE! IE in protected mode on Vista is full of holes! Many National Defence Computers DoD and MOD use Vista - so I suggest you use clothes pegs and hang Microsoft and McAfee up by their ears untill they ACTUALLY CREATE A FIREWALL THAT PROTECTS BOTH WAYS - BOTH INCOMING AND OUTGOING DATA. Windows defender is outward looking firewall so a (Chinese) Trojan can operate from within and instigate a connection from inside- result connection through the firewall - A SECURITY LEAK BOTH WAYS. Does Microsoft know how bad that is?
I DON'T KNOW. ASK THEM? WE'RE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR SUPPORTING OUR SOFTWARE, YOU FUCKING ASSHAT.
I suggest your company talks to McAfee about the McAfee crash and loss of its firewall on Vista and failures in security proven by the fact that more data has been UPLOADED from an apparently protected Vista computer than has been DOWNLOADED even when the user downloads several HUGE DVDs. It could be something to do with Google search hosted Chinese malware search entries that penetrate both Windows defender and McAfee FIREWALLs! or McAfee is playing funny games with my private data.
I suggest you STFU and stop wasting my time when this has nothing to do with our $20 anti-malware software. You weren't satisfied with the trial? Fine. Don't fucking buy it and uninstall it.
This is a very serious accusation - a national security threat! Google have acted promptly to stop the rogue search entries but Windows defender and McAfee are full of holes and the sense of security is so FALSE it is a big LIE! IE in protected mode on Vista is full of holes! Many National Defence Computers DoD and MOD use Vista - so I suggest you use clothes pegs and hang Microsoft and McAfee up by their ears untill they ACTUALLY CREATE A FIREWALL THAT PROTECTS BOTH WAYS - BOTH INCOMING AND OUTGOING DATA. Windows defender is outward looking firewall so a (Chinese) Trojan can operate from within and instigate a connection from inside- result connection through the firewall - A SECURITY LEAK BOTH WAYS. Does Microsoft know how bad that is?
I DON'T KNOW. ASK THEM? WE'RE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR SUPPORTING OUR SOFTWARE, YOU FUCKING ASSHAT.
momentarygenius.livejournal.com![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
momentarygenius : Thank you for calling the support center, this is Mary, can I have your user name please?luser: yeah, put it under $username cause she's the one with the problem
momentarygenius : OK, and what can I do for you two today?luser: hold on a minute.
-2 or 3 minutes pass, I'm looking at our rising unmber of calls in queue and contemplating hanging up, all I hear is her typing something...-
luser: ok there we go. So I just talked to someone else there like a minute ago and they gave me some instructions to try on $username's pc but I dont have them anymore. Can you tell me what they were?
**headdesk**
really? ya know, if you paid a little more attention you would have gotten it.
Oh, central IT...
Dec. 4th, 2007 04:42 pmgoose-entity.livejournal.comWe are a federated IT support dept in our humongo academic institution. We have a nice little server running CentOS and a free trouble ticket system which includes email logging functionality.
When the mail servers got switched around, email logging stopped working due to requirements for encrypted POP.
Our free trouble ticket system is a bunch of CGI scripts - they aren't designed for POPS, so I had to ask for an exception for our server (which sits happily on a static IP address).
So, central IT moved the email account from server $FOO to server $BAR. Super.
... email logging still not working. Drat.
I took my eye off this due to being busy with other stuff, and had another look at this earlier today. Went back to central IT to find out why our server was still not able to log tickets submitted by email.
1. They had moved account onto different server. They didn't mention the server *name*. Or that the server had to be mentioned by *name* in the CGI script, rather than naming the server farm name. (OK, my bad - should maybe have thought about this.)
2. They never poked a hole in the firewall to allow our server to talk to their server.
.....
*sigh*
Still... at least it's working now. That's something....?
When the mail servers got switched around, email logging stopped working due to requirements for encrypted POP.
Our free trouble ticket system is a bunch of CGI scripts - they aren't designed for POPS, so I had to ask for an exception for our server (which sits happily on a static IP address).
So, central IT moved the email account from server $FOO to server $BAR. Super.
... email logging still not working. Drat.
I took my eye off this due to being busy with other stuff, and had another look at this earlier today. Went back to central IT to find out why our server was still not able to log tickets submitted by email.
1. They had moved account onto different server. They didn't mention the server *name*. Or that the server had to be mentioned by *name* in the CGI script, rather than naming the server farm name. (OK, my bad - should maybe have thought about this.)
2. They never poked a hole in the firewall to allow our server to talk to their server.
.....
*sigh*
Still... at least it's working now. That's something....?
The stupid! It BURNS!
Dec. 4th, 2007 04:48 pmthe-hunter.livejournal.comTwitch
Twitch
Gibber
Just had an *emergency* phonecall from Goldfish Girl.Goldfish Girl is...special. She is the person who rang me whilst I was at work, demanding that I leave work to come and look at her goldfish, because they appeared *depressed*. She is the one who was surprised to find that the *fish poo* in the bottom of her tank was not, in fact, fish poo but a pork sausage put there by her even more special son. The fact that the sausage was three times the size of the largest fish in the tank may have been a hint. Or it may have explained why the goldfish looked depressed. In any case, she is the reason I look depressed so often. Today, for example...
She has broken her new laptop. The one she spent over a grand on, for her son. The most expensive one in the shop. She bought it *because* it was the most expensive one in the shop. And she broke it today. And somehow I don't think she is going to get it repaired under warranty, and unless her insurance policy covers abject fuckwittery then I think she is boned there as well.
See, she was trying to get information about the carers society up on the intertubes, and having done so wanted a hard copy of it. Only she doesn't know how to print from her laptop. So she did the next best thing. She went, laptop in hand (open, running, and still displaying the web page) to the public library. To seek assistance and advice from the local librarions? Nope. To *use the phorocopier*
Yes. She tried to photocopy the laptop display. As a result her grand and a bit HP laptop is now a flaptop. Lappy hinges do not, it seems, stand up to having the form-feed lid of a photocopier closed down on them suddenly.
I have a headache just contemplating it.
Twitch
Gibber
Just had an *emergency* phonecall from Goldfish Girl.Goldfish Girl is...special. She is the person who rang me whilst I was at work, demanding that I leave work to come and look at her goldfish, because they appeared *depressed*. She is the one who was surprised to find that the *fish poo* in the bottom of her tank was not, in fact, fish poo but a pork sausage put there by her even more special son. The fact that the sausage was three times the size of the largest fish in the tank may have been a hint. Or it may have explained why the goldfish looked depressed. In any case, she is the reason I look depressed so often. Today, for example...
She has broken her new laptop. The one she spent over a grand on, for her son. The most expensive one in the shop. She bought it *because* it was the most expensive one in the shop. And she broke it today. And somehow I don't think she is going to get it repaired under warranty, and unless her insurance policy covers abject fuckwittery then I think she is boned there as well.
See, she was trying to get information about the carers society up on the intertubes, and having done so wanted a hard copy of it. Only she doesn't know how to print from her laptop. So she did the next best thing. She went, laptop in hand (open, running, and still displaying the web page) to the public library. To seek assistance and advice from the local librarions? Nope. To *use the phorocopier*
Yes. She tried to photocopy the laptop display. As a result her grand and a bit HP laptop is now a flaptop. Lappy hinges do not, it seems, stand up to having the form-feed lid of a photocopier closed down on them suddenly.
I have a headache just contemplating it.