I feel my life slipping away

[the-ninja-style.livejournal.com]

I work for Tier 2 - which means minus the customers we have to call with phone issues (We all remember the voicemail lady right?) I deal with field techs only.
Now you would think that since we hire, train, and send these people to school that they would have some clue as to what they are doing. These brain children proved me wrong.

Tech: The modem isn't responding to the internet
Me: *Checks the account* OK there is no modem on here. They also aren't scheduled for an internet install.
Tech: 2432 Pine Dr. right?
Me: Yes...
Tech: Well that's where I'm.... oh nope. This is 2434. What should I do?
Me: Take it out and put it in the right house.
Tech: Are you sure we can't just give these people internet?
Me: If you can talk them in to raising their bill.
Tech: But I don't want to tell them what I did.
Me: They are going to know when you rip their modem out.
Tech: -Long pause- OK thank you. *Discos call*

Tech: The modem isn't syncing up
Me: I see. I can't find the modem online at all. What are the lights doing?
Tech: No lights.
Me: It's a dead modem, swap it out.
Tech: OK. Oh, I never plugged it in. Hang on. OK lights.... *clicky click* INTERNET! Awesome.

Field Tech Day!!!

[canray.livejournal.com]

Looks like we got a theme!

Well, here's one that I've heard of, and had to experience.

"Drive-By Installations". One of my buddies had to field a number of phone calls over a particular installer that would do the "Premium Installation" by, literally, driving by the house, and throwing the installation kit onto the front yard.

He was *FINALLY* canned after a lawsuit happened when he hit a kid in the head.

My own "Drive-By Installation" at least got out of the truck. He put the Installation Kit on the front porch. No modem inside.

Again, a "Premium Installation". Charge to the Customer? $199.

I refunded that one right quick!

Just remembered this!

[canray.livejournal.com]

( Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, he's very tired! )

OK, this isn't the Field Tech's fault, but it's still funny as hell!

(no subject)

[the-ninja-style.livejournal.com]

This just happened:

Customer was accidentally transferred to me, so I transfered on but not before his account popped up. I usually ignore it, but saw he had a novel for notes. I decided to see why. This proved to be more entertaining than "Subs phone still out." Here are some of the highlights.

Sub called in saying outlet is ruined. Sub says his mother-in-law ripped the modem out of the wall and threw it into the yard.
Sub thinks the modem will still work if we can replace outlet. Gave sub free install for this.

Sub calls back in, his mother-in-law ripped the modem out again, claiming the internet is only for porn and that he's cheating on her daughter via net. This time she LIT THE MODEM ON FIRE in the front yard. Sub needs new outlet, and new modem. Advised sub he would have to pay for modem. Sub agreed.

Sub angry that modem cost $120. Said he could buy one cheaper at Walmart. Explained to sub what a high risk customer is and also pointed out he signed agreement to buy modem. Sub says he didn't know what he was signing, he just signed it. Told sub that is no excuse, and must pay bill. Sub angry but agreed to pay.

Sub says tech didn't arrive with modem. Notes on job state differently. Suggest sub check with neigbor. Sub says he's been home all day. Woman in background started screaming that she hid the modem. Sub said he was tired of being married and asked if I was familiar with any divorce lawyers in his area. Disco'd call.

Woman claiming to be Sub's wife called in. Says she wants to disco all services. Sub could not verify subs SS#, address, or even spell the last name right.

Sub calls in to complain about his mother-in-law trying to disco services. Confirmed with sub services were not discoed. Sub now has password protected account.

Woman says she is subs wife. Can not give password to account. Offers me $1000 if I allow her access to account. Cold disco on caller.

My Supervisor's Tale...

[canray.livejournal.com]

Here's my Old Supervisor's Favorite story. He's typically called into training groups to relate it.

(After the typical, "Give me a Supervisor NOW!" sitch)

Caller: "How fast do your modems go?"

Supervisor: "Well, depending on what area you're in, they have a bandwidth of..."

Caller: "In Miles Per Hour."

Supervisor: "Huh?"

Caller: "OK, sit tight, and be ready for a story. I just got the service installed, Internet only. The Tech had to run a line to my house, in fact. It was working great, then, suddenly, the wire started ripping itself from the wall. Then my modem went with it, and then the computer. Very quickly."

Supervisor: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh kay..."

Caller: "Well, I decided to follow it, seeing as it took my computer with it. I found my computer a half-block away in the ditch, and the modem wrapped up in a Transport Truck with the cable used to connect it to the post. The Truck Driver asked if it was my modem. When I said 'Yes', he punched me in the face."

Supervisor: "Oh, look at that, I found a Supervisor."

Caller: "Good. Know this isn't your fault. I'm going to complain to the highest place I can go."

Apparently, enough of this actually happened that the guy got a full refund, and replacement for his Computer.

Field Tech Day story

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

Sub called in extremely angry. Wanted to know the full name and home address of the tech who was out there today.

Explained that I can only see initials, and asked why he needed it.

( Here's WHY he wanted it. )

They gave him like 6 months credit, and he's still a sub.