How do we Troubleshoot this?

[canray.livejournal.com]

( Movie Within )

Silly Sales Rep!

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

Got a cc'd email from sales today with this little typo from the rep:

"Sorry for the incontinence, I have updated my notes reflecting your request and have copied support. They will contact you this afternoon to assist you."

sssiiiiggghhh....

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

work order summary:
monitor is unplugged but they can't figure out which cord belongs to it


is monday over yet?

(no subject)

[the-ninja-style.livejournal.com]

First time poster! Figured this would be a great first time post.
Woman can't access her voicemail. I call her voicemail and using her passcode access her messages. This means the voicemail is working, obviously.
I call the woman and have her try to access the messages. She tells me that it still doesn't work. I look at the number she dialed. She was dialing 4020 while her phone number is 3220. I ask her why she is dialing 4020 as this is not her number. This conversation follows:

Woman: Well that's how I use to get to it! I dialed that, put in my password and it took me to my messages.
Me: OK did you change your phone number?
Woman: Yes.
Me: And what was it before?
Woman: 4020
Me: Your voicemail box follows the new number. You need to dial that number.
Woman: But 4020 use to work!
Me: Ma'am when we changed your number, we closed the old voicemail box.
Woman: Well then how are people going to reach me?
Me: They call your new number and leave a message on the voicemail box at that number.
Woman: But 4020 worked!
Me: I know ma'am. Can you try calling 3220 for me? *watches her dial 4020*
Woman: It doesn't work.
Me: You dialed 4020.
Woman: Yes...
Me: Now try 3220. NOT 4020. *Watches her dial 4020*
Woman: Nothing.
Me: Again ma'am you dialed 4020.
Woman: Why won't it work?
Me: Because it doesn't exist there any more. Please dial 3220.
Woman: I just don't understand.
Me: Ma'am can you please dial 3220 for me? *Watches her dial 4020 and feels the need to punch something*
Woman: Nothing.
Me: I'm sending you a tech.

Me being a Wisearse...

[canray.livejournal.com]

Back in my phone days, we would have to do the nice, traditional "Get the phone number" from people who have already pressed it in fifteen times (Literally at one job. :-S).

Sometimes, they think I'm just a machine again, and type it in using the phone, so, when that happened, I'd do this:

Me: "Hello, thank you for calling *HELL!*, my name is CanRay, and can I please have your phone number, starting with the area code."

Phone: Boop, boop, beep, bap, bap, bap, bapboobbapbap

Me (In best "Computer Voice"): "Thank you. Now accessing your account. I am sorry, I cannot access your account as I'm a human being and don't speak 'Phone', please speak to me your telephone number starting with the area code."

Most people chuckled or apologised. One person, however, was just too ticked off to realize what I was saying, and just kept punching in the number, three times in a row. I'd had a bad day as well, so followed it up with: "I am sorry, we are unable to bring up your account due to your inability to speak your phone number starting with the area code. Thank you for calling *HELL!*."

Hey, if you're not going to listen to the nice human being when you finally get one, why bother going through the voice mail?

Consumer level hosting, meet Slashdot Effect.

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

So .. when someone sets up a web page with a fairly long video on it on their consumer level friends-n-family type hosting service, and this video's content leads to it getting posted on Drudge, and they get a half a million hits on the page and take up a significant portion of the whole server's data traffic, and their page gets shut down .. the correct response to this is:

• a) Mirror the video content on a site that can handle the traffic, and link/embed it on the weakie hosting page


• b) Migrate the site to a real hosting service


• c) Call the tech support for the computer it was composed on and gripe at them about it

Evidently the answer is c) ..

What got my point across was having the content author multiply the size of the video content by the number of hits he was getting, and then tell him about how big an OC12 is. Light came on about that point.

Thankfully, HTML composition and enterprise level site design is way outside the scope of the calls I answer .. :)