(no subject)

[the-ninja-style.livejournal.com]

First time poster! Figured this would be a great first time post.
Woman can't access her voicemail. I call her voicemail and using her passcode access her messages. This means the voicemail is working, obviously.
I call the woman and have her try to access the messages. She tells me that it still doesn't work. I look at the number she dialed. She was dialing 4020 while her phone number is 3220. I ask her why she is dialing 4020 as this is not her number. This conversation follows:

Woman: Well that's how I use to get to it! I dialed that, put in my password and it took me to my messages.
Me: OK did you change your phone number?
Woman: Yes.
Me: And what was it before?
Woman: 4020
Me: Your voicemail box follows the new number. You need to dial that number.
Woman: But 4020 use to work!
Me: Ma'am when we changed your number, we closed the old voicemail box.
Woman: Well then how are people going to reach me?
Me: They call your new number and leave a message on the voicemail box at that number.
Woman: But 4020 worked!
Me: I know ma'am. Can you try calling 3220 for me? *watches her dial 4020*
Woman: It doesn't work.
Me: You dialed 4020.
Woman: Yes...
Me: Now try 3220. NOT 4020. *Watches her dial 4020*
Woman: Nothing.
Me: Again ma'am you dialed 4020.
Woman: Why won't it work?
Me: Because it doesn't exist there any more. Please dial 3220.
Woman: I just don't understand.
Me: Ma'am can you please dial 3220 for me? *Watches her dial 4020 and feels the need to punch something*
Woman: Nothing.
Me: I'm sending you a tech.

Comments

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Wow.

Good-

Wow.


....



..


...



Wow.


......wow.



Related: many, many, many, many Helpdesk calls where you change their PW to "password" and expire it so they can change it... and then realize they're incapable of typing the word "password" which is probably why they got it locked in the first place, so you have to remotely access their machine and type it for them. Please, Gods of Management, get these people out of our lives.

[canray.livejournal.com]

If they weren't that stupid, they'd have to pay 'em more.

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Good point!

[mouser.livejournal.com]

My favorites are the ones that CAN type password, login and try to go about their business without changing the password. "But that's easy to remember!"

We've got a new "No, you can't change it your self numbnutz" policy. Can't imagine why...

[xforge.livejournal.com]

We may have to do that. It'd be randomly generated and practically impossible to remember, but they better remember it, or we'll have their manager kick their asses. = )

Right now we like to keep it where we never ever hear their password; saves us a load of accusations "you touched my stuff!" Hell no we didn't touch your stuff, why would we want to?

[dukesnorre.livejournal.com]

Ow. /me has flashbacks to Listen Already! (http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_listen.shtml)

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Ma'am, I am now setting it so that when you, just you, type in 4020 into this phone, it *WILL* delete all your voice mail. If you press that in again, the people will *NEVER* get ahold of you. Ever. Again."

[xforge.livejournal.com]

"I am going to ask you again if you have *any* cheese, and if you say no, I will shoot you in the head. Do you understand me?"

Alternately

"If you EVER punch 4020 into that phone again, I will personally come over there and use that phone apparatus to crush your hands into a paste quite resembling very heavily used Silly Putty. Do you understand?"

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Ma'am, please go TO THE TELEVISION, and push the power button ON THE TELEVISION."

*Click* "The cable box turned off, and the TV turned on."

"You used the Remote Control again, didn't you?"

*Sheepishly*: "Yes..."

"OK. You're in the Living Room right? Fine. Go into the Kitchen."

"Why?"

"Do you want your Cable to work? Go into the Kitchen!"

"OK." *Steps* "There."

"Fine, now put the remote control down on the table."

"Why?"

"Because if you pick it up again while on this call with me, it will bite you."

*Drops*

"Now let's fix your TV."

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Just amazing man, just frickin' amazing.

[canray.livejournal.com]

That was the short version.

Fourty-Five minutes of my life that I'll never get back. :'(

All she needed to do was push the power button on the TV, that's it, that's all.

"Would the remote really have bitten me?"

"No. It has no teeth. I told you that because you WOULDN'T PUT THE DAMN THING DOWN!"

"Oh... I'm going to watch my stories now."

"You do that."

[kallell.livejournal.com]

I think this woman worked for us once

[110billion.livejournal.com]

*cries from laughing* ... gold.

[hangar.livejournal.com]

My mom does that ALL THE FRIGGING TIME. She wanted me to remove the laptop's keyboard & clean under it because she'd spilled this bag of candy and the little candy beads in the bottom of the bag had gotten under some keys.

"Mom, turn off the computer, I'll be there in a second. *watches as she restarts* No, mom, not restart. Turn off." "I did!" "No, mom, I don't want to be responsible for frying anything - turn it OFF.."

[snarl817.livejournal.com]

In addition to a tech, you might want to send her a map of the Yellow Brick Road. You know, so she can ask the Wizard of Oz for a brain.

Failing that, dispatch the tech with a hammer and instructions to smash her fingers if she tries to dial the old number again.

[canray.livejournal.com]

I threatened a person with a biting remote control in my Cable TV Support days.

That was a fun call that actually got me a couple of free drinks.

[crazdgamer.livejournal.com]

Yowzas. I have a couple of people that can't adapt to new processes, but that's worse than anything I've ever seen. Much apologies.

[shirenomad]

Oy... This one needs promotion to mock_the_stupid.