Support Pwnage!

[canray.livejournal.com]

OK, he's a Librarian, not a Tech Support Agent. But people treat him like one 'cause he's in his 20s. ;-P

http://www.overduemedia.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070501

no, the cart goes AFTER the horse

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

Luser: Yeah, I'm trying to register this software I just purchased and I'm having problems with the instructions.
Me: Ok, which of our programs did you purchase?
Luser: Um... it's uh... your... uh... your firewall.  It says here to right click on the blue shield icon in the system tray, but there is no blue shield - so how am I supposed to right click on it?
Me:  Have you installed the firewall, sir?
Luser: Not yet, I just purchased it 10 minutes ago!
Me:  Well, in order to register it, you have to install it first.
Luser: Well, I guess you need to have better instructions, then!
Me: I completely agree. I'll forward your request to customer service to be more specific in our registration instructions. Have a nice day.

BEST CALL EVER.

[vampireborg.livejournal.com]

$USER (teaches in the Alcohol and Drug Counseling program, has a rep for not having a full deck of cards): I WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING.
Borg: Yes, sir?
$USER: DO YOU TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER?
Borg: ........ what do you mean, sir?
$USER: WHEN YOU LEAVE YOU COMPUTER. DO YOU TURN IT OFF.
Borg: .................. well, sir, my station is rather a shared one, but does go into sleep mode?
$USER: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POWER $COLLEGE USES FOR COMPUTERS!!?!?!??
Borg: ... Um, I'm not sur---------
$USER: WHY DON'T PEOPLE TURN OFF THEIR COMPUTERS THINK OF THE POWER WE USE!!!!!!!1!1!!!
Borg: Well, sir, part of the reason we don't always turn them off when when we go on breaks and why I don't turn mine off when I leave is because it can cause a lot of wear on the hard drive and motherboard and the power supply.
$USER: HOW MUCH POWER DOES $COLLEGE USE???????????
Borg: Well sir, that'd be an interesting subject to research, now wouldn't it? *click*

Gee, that's funny, sir. :|

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

45 minutes into a call with elderly mouth-breather with an annoying habit of asking "now what do I do?" after completing half of the steps required for just about every procedure, to troubleshoot the network connectivity problem that cropped up while we were trying to figure out why his mail client wasn't accepting known good passwords, we're waiting for his PPPoE client to either connect or time out, and I swear to God, he says, "Doesn't electricity travel at the speed of light?"

Well, yeah, but it's following a path with a fairly large fractal dimension? What the hell else does one say to someone who suddenly decides to try to grow a brain and fails so spectacularly?

Elementary computer hardware recognition...

[princess-kessie.livejournal.com]

Disclaimer: while I do not know the people involved personally and cannot vouch for the validity of this event, I though it might be something you guys could relate to. QWP.

gerald_duck over in mock_the_stupid:

"A friend works for tech support in a large corporation. Last week, a manager wandered in with his laptop and a USB pendrive, saying he'd saved some documents onto the pendrive while on the train that morning and now couldn't retrieve them.

After a brief investigation my friend had to tell him it wasn't a pendrive. It was a USB Bluetooth adapter and he'd saved his documents onto another passenger's mobile phone."

Context means never running out of diskspace

9 things I learned about the world according to anonymous stock photo models

[irishmasms.livejournal.com]

9 things I learned about the world according to anonymous stock photo models.

all from (mostly) shitty telecom companies..