(no subject)

[dr-atheist.livejournal.com]

I just received the following ticket;

Problem
When logging in to $SYSTEM I am unable to get in and the message says please check user name which I have entered incorrectly

My response;
Please enter your details correctly.

The worst bit? $USER is internal to the IT department.

hack fixed if you care

[anivair.livejournal.com]

For those of you who were interested, I patched my hack. it was the prepend.php file. eplaced it with an old one and I'm good to go.

Stupid hackers.

I know, they're crackers, but you can't just go saying stupid crackers. that'll get you beat up.

(no subject)

[kitschicat.livejournal.com]

User: I am following the instructions your system admin sent me to turn off automatic archiving in GroupWise. I went into Tools -> Options -> Environment -> Cleanup and set it for Manual Archive and Delete. But now I just want to make sure, how does it know what it should archive and delete.

Me: You will specify what to delete, and it is no longer necessary to archive.

User: OK but how does it know what to delete?

Me: You as the human have to specify it, it will not do it on its own.

User: OH! DUH!

Me: Yeah, no worries, there isn't a little guy wearing a sombrero named Manuel living inside your computer randomly destroying your email!

User: *laughs* I'm glad to know that!

(no subject)

[shifuimam.livejournal.com]

I'm in a community for computer users...people ask for help, etc.

This is a real gem:

http://community.livejournal.com/computergeeks/971822.html

Wow. Just....wow. "I don't want to waste the money on AAAs, even though it suspiciously sounds like my MP3 player (OMG) needs new batteries (OMG)"...

PC Task Force

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

There should be a task force, that I would gladly contribute tax money towards that would seize the computers of the inept so they can be used by some one who knows how to properly operate/maintain them. When I get some moron on the phone, I should be able to hit a big red button that would summon an Apache Helicopter to the person's residence. The task force would then repel down and bust through the windows - throw some tear gas for good measure - grab the computer and then take it to a shelter where it can be rehabilitated/upgraded and adopted.

When I was an admin...

[snarl817.livejournal.com]

This was about 6 years ago. I got this call from the helpdesk. One of the VPs in Florida was having problems with his email disappearing and he needed it to be restored from the backups. I call him up to find out the details. The conversation went something like this (I can't remember exactly since I've slept since then):

Me: So, what exactly is happening?
VP: My VERY important emails are disappearing about a week after I move them out of my Inbox. I need them restored from backup as I have several important contracts that have gone missing. I'd also like to know WHY they are disappearing. I can't believe that you people are so bad at doing your jobs that you would let this happen!
Me: Ok, what folder were they in?
VP: The Trash folder.
Me: ...
Me: I'm sorry, did you say that they were in the Trash folder?
VP: Yes, and I need them back NOW! The deadline for getting this contract signed is tomorrow!
Me: [facepalm] Well...I can tell you why they've been disappearing. The system automatically purges items from the Trash folder after a week.
VP: What? Why?!
Me: Because that's where you put stuff you want to DELETE. There's no way to restore those items from backup, either, because the Trash folders are excluded from the backups to save space.
VP: WHAT?!?!?!?! That's unacceptable! These are multi-million dollar contracts and I need them back RIGHT NOW! Besides, this is the way I've always done it, and I've never had the problem before.
Me: Well, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do. The system was recently reconfigured to purge items in the Trash folders after a week because nobody was actually deleting them. I would suggest that you move anything currently in the Trash folder somewhere else.
VP: [slams phone down]

I called the helpdesk manager and told her what happened. When he called her back, she "educated" him as to why he shouldn't store anything that he wants to keep in the trash. I'm STILL confused as to WHY anyone would do that, though. I mean, as much as I'd like to, I don't throw my bills in the trash.