Ahh. the new job...

[billysapphire.livejournal.com]

Well, I work in a center that assists hotel guests that are having issues with the in-room High Speed Internet Access. Here are some of the things that just freaking annoy the hell out of me...

1) Calling in 5 minutes before your next appointment. Hey, you should know that if it didn't just start working when you turned that laptop on, it's not likely to be a quick fix

2) GET OFF THE FREAKING SPEAKERPHONE!!!!!! Why do you feel the need to even use it. The first clue should be the fact that you can't understand what I am saying, so how do you expect to handle a simple task such as running IPCONFIG. (ICONSIG, IPONFIG, INFIG, etc and this was with just one person but it happens all of the time.

3) I don't support billing issues. If you pay for but do not use the Playboy Channel (or used it but don't want it to show up on the room charge listing) in your room, you don't tell the maintenance man or the cable company to give you your money back, do you? Call the damn front desk and leave me alone.

4) Listen to ME! YOU called ME for help. If you are such a freaking "computer whiz" why the hell are you sitting in my queue? In addition, restarting your computer after every instruction I give you will get you a ticket number and you told to call back later when the computer finishes rebooting. I don't have the time to sit on the line while your spyware infested computer takes 20 minutes to restart.

5) Leave the Wireless Radio switch alone. This would be the reason why you keep losing your wireless connection you MORON! You would think that the little 12 volt christmas light bulb above your head would have gone off after the first 5 times this happened.

6) Whiners. "I have a headache and I don't want this to take long." I have a headache too because The Nanny voice that is coming over my headset is scrambling my brain cells. Not to mention the fact that you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said so far.

7) No sir, I cannot wait on the line while you run to the lobby for your food, etc. I have a queue of 20 other idiots still waiting. You will need to call back. Preferably after you have completed your meal so I don't have to hear you chewing like a freaking cow chewing on cud.

8) Do not call me when you have been drinking, smoking (not nicotine), had some fun with "Tina" or any of her other friends. When you tell me that you see three login screens on the one monitor with it maximized, it is time for you to put the phone down and then put yourself down in the bed and sleep it off. That, and I will not be the one who will have to listen your hungover, "coming down" ass in the morning as I will be sleeping or doing some of that stuff myself.

And Now, A Tale from the Other Side

[verbranden.livejournal.com]

I was unfortunately forced to have to call a tech support line for a minor emergency, and the lady I talked to was wonderfully polite and helpful so much that I called the company's customer service line afterwards to tell them how much I appreciated her help. Now I only hope that she gets at least a 'Good job' from her boss, because I know that little things like that can really make someone's day.

And it just got me thinking, how often does this happen really? I always try to find a way to compliment good customer service because I know those jobs are often thankless drudgery, but I know when I worked with tech support, it was rare to never. So, how often does it happen where you work?

(no subject)

[spaz-own-joo.livejournal.com]

So my user just reinstalled Windows XP on his Dell box using the Dell System Restore disc. Couldn't get on the Internet. So he called Dell, and they listened to his problem for approximately 500 ms, and then told him to call his ISP. That's me.

So we go into Network Connections.

there's a 1394 connection. Nothing else.

So we go into Device manager.

There's 12 (count 'em) devices there with big yellow question marks, under "other devices."
Just to be sure, and to demonstrate to the user, we open up Network Controller Properties and it says the drivers for this device are not installed.

So I send him back to Dell.

15 minutes later, I'm talking to him AGAIN, and he still has no drivers. Dell assured him that his ISP would help him with this.

THANKS, DELL!

(no subject)

[fuego.livejournal.com]

Is it too much to ask for people to conjugate the word "to be"

No, it is NOT acceptable to say "I plugged it up and it don't be workin' yo"


two more weeks and I'll no longer be working in tech support.

(no subject)

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

Look. Stop what you're doing. Listen.

To ME!

Look, I don't care what the last tech said. This is me, I have my own style and you'll follow my directions. Your internet is fine. I can talk to it, and I can even ping your computer. The last tech told you to ping 192.168.100.1.

WHY!?

Your computer isn't hooked up to a router, and that's a private IP address. I made you run ipconfig and low and behold you have our IP address that we assign to you dynamically! Wow!

Why is it that you people have to fight me on this type of stuff?

You want a tech? Why? Perhaps we could reset the browser settings to get you on. No? You still want a tech.

Fine. I'm done with ya. I hope they charge your ass.

*When will they ever learn?

(no subject)

[supportbitch.livejournal.com]

In case anyone missed the announcement, let me repeat it here in nice, big bold letters:

SuB supports Linux in a Linux shop that only runs straight up Linux with Linux cherries on top.

Does that make it clear? Is there any confusion? APARENTLY YES.

SuB: Hi, thanks for calling $COMPANY. This is SuB. May I have you account number or your login?
$USER: Well, um, I guess it's $ACCOUNT.
SuB: Let me look that up. Hmmm, I'm not seeing any support on this account...?
$USER: Yeah, I just can't log in.
SuB: To your account?
$USER: Yeah, it just goes to the Geee-No-Me-a.
SuB: ...this is on your computer?
$USER: Yeah.
SuB: I can't really help you with this, because you don't have support. I can point you to some online articles...

(ten minutes of getting her to type in a URL follows)

$USER: How much is support?
SuB: It ranges from about $200 a year to over a thousand.
$USER: That's a lot! What if I bought a computer with this and I just want to get the Linux off my computer?
SuB: Ahhh, you'd have to buy another operating system. Can you talk to whoever sold you the computer?
$USER: No, they won't support me after I buy it. So, another operating system? Like Windows 98?
SuB: Yes...that's a choice.
$USER: I bought that! I can't get it installed.
SuB: ...you put the cd in the drive...?
$USER: YEah, and it just keeps going back.
SuB: I. Am. Not. Helping. You. Install. Windows.
$USER: Huh. Ok. Bye then.

What. The. Hell. Just...what the hell.