(no subject)

[freakyhipchick.livejournal.com]

It appears i have suddenly started talking in Swahili tonight...or i may aswell have been, people who cannot follow instructions, or maybe it's just sheer ignorance? I mean I might be completely deranged or something...but i don't think this is at all difficult:

Thankyou for calling [insert company name here] my name is freakyhipchick, can i take your telephone number please?

Simple right? apparently not, i had this one guy first completely ignore what i said and launched into telling me what his problem was..so i waited while he inanely described his problem, paused and again, i asked for his telephone number...he replies with his email address....Um thats nice to know, but what do you want me to do with it? Spam you? Yeah sure, it would be a pleasure!

Meh...and also people who seem to think we have a nifty button on our phone that turns our voice up....I may be wrong but i have never heard of one of those buttons...i actually have to raise my voice....and then they complain i am shouting, gah! *headdesk*

Why do users insist?

[lovemonster.livejournal.com]

What part of "we do not support W95/W98" did you not understand and why would you think I would help you install our product on a platform we do not support?

Luser Frustrations

[tophee.livejournal.com]

Okay, so it's one thing to open a ticket about a dumb question. Not everyone is computer literate, and the opening of that dumb ticket (and many others like it) gives me a paycheque.

However, what I hate is when said Luser tells me that he/she is some big computer expert, that they make so much more than I do, and that when I'm going through the basic troubleshooting steps, they can't humor me and just go through with them. Seriously, I don't give a flying fuck if you make more than me or have more certs than I do. You ask a dumb question, you get dumbed down answers. Go through the freaking troubleshooting steps like a good little luser. I wouldn't ask those questions if they didn't help solve the problem 99% of the time.

Either stop being a lazy fuck and fix your own goddamn problem, or shut up and respect those who may know more than you in this one topic. If I ever have a question about how to be a jack ass, I'll know who to ask.

/toph

When You Remove All Power Sources...

[fuego.livejournal.com]

Fuego: Remove the power adapter and battery, then turn the computer over.
Idiot: It didn't like that very much
Fuego: Didn't like what?
Idiot: I pressed the power button and nothing happened

(no subject)

[katyism.livejournal.com]

Once again, I hate taking the fall for another tech's failure to adhere to the rules (however well-intentioned).

We don't help with Windows product keys. We don't keep the one for the volume license on file, officially. (We do, but it's not to be given to end users!) If you call because yours isn't working, we give you a Microsoft phone number, or we send you back to the store to exchange your Windows CD.

If you talk to a tech who gives you the volume license product key, and that doesn't work either, you probably typed it in wrong. If you call back wanting him to give you another one, and you get me on the phone instead of him, you're out of luck and that helpful tech you already talked to gets reprimanded for giving it to you. If you get him on the phone, you're out of luck! He doesn't have anymore anyway! If you hang up on me because I don't generate magic working product keys on the fly, you're out of luck! Fuck off!

And fuck off, co-worker. I am tired of you doing things "because you know how and thought it would save the user some trouble" when we DO NOT SUPPORT those things and 99% of the time, your advice doesn't work and the user calls back expecting more special favors.

Ask a stupid question....

[captpackrat.livejournal.com]

User: "Can I ask you a really stupid question?"

Me: "I don't know, can you?"

Mystery Solved

[kallell.livejournal.com]

I was having problems with my laptop

( I Wonder Why )

Because it's not ALL bad...

[seattleotaku.livejournal.com]

Just before I logged out at work today, I had a new-user setup call that ended with, "And since the customer is always right, you get the rest of the day off with pay."

If only he'd said that hours before (and if it was true). ^_^