This morning's first ticket

[alysania.livejournal.com]

Names changed to protect the uh.. well you know..

Name @ Phone cx does not have access to the internet and cannot get access to the email
tried to ping machine no response. cx has tried to unplug and resinsert the cac 5 cable. and undocked the station still same response.

Further on on the log..

cx stats that there was maintenance done on the network on friday. came back today the problem started.
cx stats the she would like baseops to taike a alook at this.

This one came across me this morning from the helpdesk (I'm desk-side support)
cac 5 cable? That's a new one.. then there's the typos.. Does anyone at our helpdesk at least TRY to get it right? Just once?

On Being Just That Good

[pantherchild.livejournal.com]

~My boss is a total showoff. In addition to being an ass. :-)

~(I should mention that everytime I speak about Christian being as ass or the devil, it's becuase I like him so much. He's honestly the best boss I've ever worked for. He hates management bs, and doesn't do it. He doesn't give us bs, and we don't give him bs. He treats us like REAL PEOPLE, beleive it or not! He still gives management the bs they desire...he's got a bs voice you can hear from a mile away.)

~Anyway, he's often said things like "I could take 60 calls a day." "Someday, I'll get on the phones and show you HOW IT'S DONE." "You guys are goddamn pansies."

~No one really beleived him--I mean, sure, we believed he was damn good...but 60 calls? The most I'd EVER seen anyone do was 32 and even that was a stretch. The most I'd done was 16 (admittadly, it was only my first week.) so I thought 60 was crazy!

~Yesterday, more than half the team was out for bullshit 'soft skills' training (PLEASE KILL ME NOW.) and half the guys who were suposed to be on the phones didn't drag themselves in until 9:15 or so (we open at 9am) and numbers dwindled througout the day until they were dropping calls left and right.

~So, Christian got on the phones.

~He did 14 calls in 1.5 hours, as well as making tickets for all of them, doing his normal job, and dropping in on us in our training (to point and laugh. He said he put us in it because he hates us....I believe him.)

~That's almost as many calls as I take in an 8+ hour day! It's half of what the top calltaker took that day!

~Damn, but I want to be that good when I grow up.

~So, that being said...how many people here are the top or close to the top ticket/call taker/maker at your job? And what makes you so cool?~

Am I wrong?

[wolffsekunde.livejournal.com]

When giving our customers the nameservers to assign to their domain names, oftentimes the letters get muffled through the phone so we have to use what I like to call unspelling, like "f like frank, u like umbrella, c like cat"... you get the picture. So for our customers the nameservers most of them use are dns1.companyname.com and dns2.companyname.com and I found the dns part always got screwed up over the phone. gns, dms, dnf... pretty much any combination of letters would form as a result of either my stuffy nose or poor telco lines.

I found myself making up ways to unspell it but was never satisfied with my choices. Delta Nevada Sierra was all military like, but just not my style. Devil Nine Sadomasochism was another good choice, but not quite professional. So then I came up with one that was fun, but still serious.

Dancing Nancy Sinatra.

Any other good unspellings out there?

I see stupid people

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

I hate happy clickers that have the attention span of a ferret hopped up on a combination of speed and liquid sugar. If I tell you to click on one thing and you ask me if you should do something else I'm going to repeat my self like a)you are deaf and can't hear me even though you have perfect hearing, b) stupid, c) I'm hostile and don't want to talk to you, d) a, b and c. It's a pity the company I work for has gotten all touchy feely and won't let me yell at customers anymore, I'm sure it would help my blood presure some.

What exactly is it you do around here?

[captpackrat.livejournal.com]

User: "I never got that spreadsheet you said you e-mailed me last Thursday."

Me: "Well that's strange, I know I sent it. *checks Sent Items folder* Yeah, it went out Thursday morning."

User: "Well I didn't get it. I haven't gotten any e-mail from anyone since October."

D'OH! Why did you wait 4 months to tell me about this?


I checked his machine this morning. The problem was that Outlook was not set to automatically retrieve messages. The user apparently couldn't figure out the meaning of the Send/Receive button. >_

Hell Warranty Service

[klytus.livejournal.com]

I'm just going to let my (editied to protect the innocent) worklog speak for itself...

* * * * *
2/21/06 - 9:23am: Attempted to re-start machine. It does not "beep" or POST - all it does is make clicking noises. (Klytus)

2/21/06 - 10:05 am - Called Hell Warranty Service [(800) yada, yadda, yadda, spoke with R] to get a technician to make an on-site service call. Mentioned it sounds to us like a motherboard problem. They decided to send a new hard drive. Hell Case#xxxx, Dispatch# xxxxx. Call (800) etc. if we we need assistance. (Klytus)

2/21/06 - 1:34pm: Temp is using a different machine (Tag# xxxxx) while waiting for repairs on the other one. (Klytus)

2/22/06 - 4:00pm: Replacement hard drive did not work. Called Hell Warranty Service again. Again mentioned the motherboard. Their diagnosis suggests the CD Drive must be replaced. Hell Warranty Service mailing out a replacement drive. Hell Case#xxxx, Dispatch# xxxxx. (Klytus)

2/23/06 - 8:03am: Sent user an e-mail notifying her that the computer needs more work. (Klytus)

2/23/06 - 9:54am: User’s boss called. Gave her the update. (Klytus)

2/23/06 - 10:47am: As per my boss, since the desktop in question works (with the exception of the CD drive) the unit was returned for use until we get the CD drive from Hell. (Klytus)

2/24/06 - 8:36am: Received CD drive from Hell. Will install in desktop at a good time for the user (Klytus)

2/27/06 - 7:46a: Sent V an e-mail asking for a good time to install the CD drive. (Klytus)

2/27/06 - 3:23pm: Replaced CD. Computer would not boot. Called Warranty Service [(800) yada, yadda, yadda, spoke with V] - they wanted further troubleshooting. Lights A and B were amber, lights C and D were green. Brought PC to FixProb desk - it started up fine. Loaded and tested Novell. Returned desktop to workstation - filed to boot. Called Hell again. Removing memory causes it to beep, so they do not think there is a motherboard issue. Reseated RAM - computer works. Migrated user's LotusNotes data to machine. Keeping an eye on it for the time being. (Klytus)

3/1/06 - 11:00am - User called saying her computer would turn on, but nothing would appear on the monitor. Called Hell Warranty Service [(800) yada, yadda, yadda, spoke with W]. Told W what was happening, and that lights A and B were amber, lights C and D were green. he said it sounded like a motherboard problem (which is what we've been telling them since the start!). Said the part would be ordered and the tech would call me directly to set up an appointment for the service call. (Klytus)