Hell Warranty Service

[klytus.livejournal.com]

I'm just going to let my (editied to protect the innocent) worklog speak for itself...

* * * * *
2/21/06 - 9:23am: Attempted to re-start machine. It does not "beep" or POST - all it does is make clicking noises. (Klytus)

2/21/06 - 10:05 am - Called Hell Warranty Service [(800) yada, yadda, yadda, spoke with R] to get a technician to make an on-site service call. Mentioned it sounds to us like a motherboard problem. They decided to send a new hard drive. Hell Case#xxxx, Dispatch# xxxxx. Call (800) etc. if we we need assistance. (Klytus)

2/21/06 - 1:34pm: Temp is using a different machine (Tag# xxxxx) while waiting for repairs on the other one. (Klytus)

2/22/06 - 4:00pm: Replacement hard drive did not work. Called Hell Warranty Service again. Again mentioned the motherboard. Their diagnosis suggests the CD Drive must be replaced. Hell Warranty Service mailing out a replacement drive. Hell Case#xxxx, Dispatch# xxxxx. (Klytus)

2/23/06 - 8:03am: Sent user an e-mail notifying her that the computer needs more work. (Klytus)

2/23/06 - 9:54am: User’s boss called. Gave her the update. (Klytus)

2/23/06 - 10:47am: As per my boss, since the desktop in question works (with the exception of the CD drive) the unit was returned for use until we get the CD drive from Hell. (Klytus)

2/24/06 - 8:36am: Received CD drive from Hell. Will install in desktop at a good time for the user (Klytus)

2/27/06 - 7:46a: Sent V an e-mail asking for a good time to install the CD drive. (Klytus)

2/27/06 - 3:23pm: Replaced CD. Computer would not boot. Called Warranty Service [(800) yada, yadda, yadda, spoke with V] - they wanted further troubleshooting. Lights A and B were amber, lights C and D were green. Brought PC to FixProb desk - it started up fine. Loaded and tested Novell. Returned desktop to workstation - filed to boot. Called Hell again. Removing memory causes it to beep, so they do not think there is a motherboard issue. Reseated RAM - computer works. Migrated user's LotusNotes data to machine. Keeping an eye on it for the time being. (Klytus)

3/1/06 - 11:00am - User called saying her computer would turn on, but nothing would appear on the monitor. Called Hell Warranty Service [(800) yada, yadda, yadda, spoke with W]. Told W what was happening, and that lights A and B were amber, lights C and D were green. he said it sounded like a motherboard problem (which is what we've been telling them since the start!). Said the part would be ordered and the tech would call me directly to set up an appointment for the service call. (Klytus)

Comments

[xforge.livejournal.com]

I hate that crap. This happened to me with my own IT department when I was working in a different department. I spent, no joke, *three days* diagnosing why this particular laptop would pause in the middle of Powerpoint presentations and cause the presenter to hit Next, Next, Next, at which point the computer would "wake up" and advance 3 or 4 slides at once. The machine had like half a gig of RAM, which was a lot back then (heh), so I knew that wasn't it. I searched the web and looked up specs and decided it needed a bigger, faster hard drive. Then the IT department took it away and kept it for a week and a half, and brought it back with... 64 more meg of RAM. And the same tiny slow POS hard drive that was in it when we got it.

I am SO glad the f*cking idiots that were in IT back then are no longer here. 'Cuz I'd have had to kill them by now.

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

2/21/06 - 9:31am: Pulled spare motherboard off shelf. Swapped in board. Sent old board to whitebox supplier.

2/21/06 - 9:38am: Machine boots. User returns to normal unhappy existence.

2/21/06 - 3/1/06: Played nethack. Returned with fake amulet 6 times.

I'm wondering why Dell didn't tell you to reformat and reinstall though.. Isn't that high up on their script?

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Nope the first part is when they say, "insert the diagnostics CD, run diagnostics and send us the dump".

"Er, I can't, because the machine won't boot".

"We can't help unless we can see some diagnostics"

--verbatim from Dell EMEA when I was in London. Wankers. Production server with filestore for over 1000 users, as well as shared workspaces. It took 6 hours for them to send out a tech, who did not bother to bring a motherboard, or indeed anything that might have fixed the problem. No user filestore for 18 hours - so much for 4 hours onsite support.

[theogrin.livejournal.com]

2/22/06 - 4:00pm: Replacement hard drive did not work. Called Hell Warranty Service again. Again mentioned the motherboard. Their diagnosis suggests the CD Drive must be replaced.

This is when I twitched.

Don't forget!

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, we have a DOA PC here, please can we replace it?"
"Did you update the BIOS?"

... update the BIOS of a DOA machine....? But it gets better!

"Yeah, we have this new monitor with a crack right across the screen. Can we get a replacement?"
"Did you update the BIOS and the graphics card drivers?"

... whisky tango foxtrot?!!?

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Heh, you made it to level 5 and the big boss...

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"I have already swapped every component in the PC with the identically specced PC next to it, including the CPU, power supply and mounting grommets. The problem is still occurring and the only original components left are the motherboard and the case. What would you suggest now?"

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

Wait, the replacement HDD didn't function, or didn't fix the problem?

[klytus.livejournal.com]

Didn't fix the problem.

[blossomingfire.livejournal.com]

I quit bothering with Hell tech support on the phone years ago. I go straight to e-mail (because I generally have the same issues - dead hard drive, dead power supply, etc), tell them what they want to hear, and voila, I get a part and a installer. It makes my life much simpler.

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

Optiplex GX270 (http://news.com.com/PCs+plagued+by+bad+capacitors/2100-1041_3-5942647.html?tag=nefd.lede), right?

[jecook]

::laughs::

I had *two* of those crap out with blown caps in the same week.

And apparently Dell like hiding their chat feature, whioch makes me cry.

Fortunately, I happen to have this strange presence on the phone and the ability to lie my ass off to them to get the desired result.

either that, or the folks I get actually have a clue.

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

I found a small law library with eight of the GX270s, and ALL of them had swollen or burst caps, though only two had actually died and only two more were erratic.

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

I happen to LIKE bad caps.

That's the only reason we're getting our celeron 667's off the network, as repairing is more difficult and more expensive(buying a copy of office2003 retail to replace our o97 down the line is a lot more expensive than the oem copy with a new machine).

Now, if only I had a way to get the p120's off the network...

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

if anyone should have problems again with the support, tell me... *grrrrrs*
iam working my ASS off to solve the problems these loosers occure *growls*
Customer-First!
Alright... so.. please let me know the Tag-Nr of the system and i'll start to chop some heads off *growls*

[klytus.livejournal.com]

If you're serious, (and if you work for Del .. er... Hell) send an email to Klytus AT gmail DOT com. I'll send you the complete worklog with case#s and operator names.

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

IAM serious... iam MORE than serious... they call me MR RS232 !! :) . o O (oh. darn. that was serial, not serious)

However. joke aside. I'd LOVE to kick some 4$$35 !!
Lets see what we can do there >:) (mail sent!)

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

Oh... btw... BLOWN CAPACITORS... anything where somehing has BURNED (smoke ? smell ?) sharp edges, electric discharge, etc....everything that might bring the customer in danger....
IS AN SAFTY HAZARD!
meaning: you'll get an NEW system, no matter how old your system is! and if someone doesnt know that at support, ask for their manager! >:)