Tech Support After A Four-Day Weekend

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

The Reality:

User: "I forgot my password. I always forget it if I don't use it every day. Change it."

The Dream:

Me: "Sorry, after four days, I forgot how to reset passwords. Guess you're screwed."

*click*

...and the hits just keep on comin' !

Direct quote from the last caller

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

x posted to customers_suck:

The problem was that he didn't look through the user guide, a 4 (yes, FOUR) page document with screenshots, to find the answer to his question. When I sent him a screenshot of the user guide section that was relevant to his question, with the answer circled in red, his response was:

I shouldn't have to read the user guide to learn how to use this thing!

For Real

[255-255-255-0.livejournal.com]

(sorry if this dbl posts, it didn't seem to work ??)

You’re not going to believe this one, (stupidity is in abundance at our place).
Honestly this couldn’t be more stupid if I made it up.
Me, sitting at my desk, (open office)

Them: Oh there you are, you should be able to help me with this - then hands me his watch!!

Me: ermmm, (take a couple on seconds to get over the surprise) I don’t really know anything about watches I fix computers.

Them: *name* from *dept* was going to throw it out but they said I could have it but it doesn’t work.

Me: (being naturally helpful) I open the back of the watch anyway.
Where I find no battery.

Me: There’s no battery, you need a new one

Them: Oh, do you think I should get one then?

Me: erm yes.

Them: Do you have any batteries?

Me: Of course I do, I wake up in the morning pick up my car keys, wallet and a variety of batteries just in case I need them for the watch I DON’T WEAR!!!! – You Bloody Retard, go away and stop wasting my time.

Ok - so the last bit is what I was thinking, by the time it passed through my brain it transformed into, no I haven’t any watch batteries, try the Mall across the road.

To top off yesterday, I then get a woman telling me the printer doesn’t work while handing me a piece of paper with the error message on it :
“Tray Empty”


I am going insane.

power=internet

[anivair.livejournal.com]

A few moments ago power went out in the entire building. my UPS and the server's UPS kicked in and I started rebooting things.

As I was getting ready to do so, I encountered an employee in the bleak darkness of the hallway: "Fire fox is giving me an error message."

Ya think?

I work with geniuses.

(no subject)

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

I just encountered someone who had never seen a mouse before. He kept picking it up and gesturing wildly, trying to make the cursor go up.

I remember that happening back in the 80s, but I didn't know they made people like that anymore.



I work in an internet cafe. Some days it feels like a daycare.

At least the very first website he ever attempted to visit was a porn site.

Fun with Virii

[kallell.livejournal.com]

OK, emails went out with a worm through our server today, one of my coworkers got it and i was trying to find out what it was so i could remove it. Our anti-virus didnt catch it and its file format didnt come up in web searches or in symantec search. Went ahead and submitted a ticket to our internal support. This is the email i got back

*************************************************************

Hi,

Guillaume plase follow up steps for the spam mails.

Delete all the Spam Mails in the inbox.

Do a live update in symantec antivurs.
To launch it click on Start-->programes-->Symantec Client
Security-->Symantec Antivurs client.
Click on the live update button and hit Next unitil finish.
Do a complete system scan and then run the viurs removal tools.

Click on the below link to download the virus removal tools.
http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/FxMydoom.exe.

Regards,
XXXX Team.

*********************************************************

OK,
1. That isnt my name but i assumed thier was a bcc
2. I make typos but yeesch
3. That want the virus that they gave me the tool for
4. I had better luck emailing it home and taking it apart there and realizing it was w32.mytob.cu@mm
5. I will do it myself tomorrow