call center folks, this happen to you?

[katyism.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have a question for those of you who work in call centers. Specifically call centers that have a repertoire with particular frequent callers, such that you recognize a previous customer's voice, name, whatever, when they call. Or, such that the customer recognizes YOU as someone they talked to before.

Anyway, the question is: Does this stuff happen to you? Or is it just me?
We have a few frequent flyers at my tech support call center. Most of them are okay, they're just the same old people who call a few times every day with a variant on a simple question, which we get them through. Everyone in my call center knows them by name, we make fun of the dumb ones, bitch about the bitchy ones, etc. You know how it is.

( Then there are the ones who... )

*Click*

(no subject)

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

Luser: My printer hasn't printed since Friday, and it still isn't working, how come?
Tech: Did you call this on Friday?
Luser: No.
Tech: Monday?
Luser: No.
Tech: Why did you wait?
Luser: I thought it might fix itself. It has before when it has done this error.
Tech: What does the error say?
Luser: "Low Toner"

(no subject)

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

I just got back from loading a better antivirus onto a guy's computer, and...it was current with updates.

I was speechless.

One virus, looked like a browser object I think. Installed Firefox and told him to use it.

But still. Not *one* critical update.

An email from a customer

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

why am I always cannot found server.
thank you,
[username]

(no subject)

[random-c.livejournal.com]

It's been a while since I was on the phones, but a coworker was having trouble trying to talk one of our working-from-home (we're seriously short on office space here) content developers through installing the drivers on the kit he'd been sent. For the sake of my coworker's sanity, I told him to put him through to me. Just for the hell of it, I started by IMing him 'Good afternoon thank you for contacting $company technical support my name is $name how may I help you?'
This seemed to amuse him, and he was a lot less irate with me than he'd been with my poor coworker. General gist of the conversation -

Me: So you received the zip file, unzipped it to your hard drive, and then when the machine asked for the driver, you tell it specific location and point it at either folder $foo or folder $bar depending on which device.
Him: Well I've been using a CD emulator because otherwise it doesn't know to search through that file from the root and...
Me: No, you just choose one folder or the other, from the hard drive, no fancy complex things to get in the way. Just do what I said.
Him: Well I did it before but.... oh it's working now.
Me: How odd. It just worked first time here...
Him: It just bluescreened!
Me: Let me guess. You ignored the 'don't install the wireless card' bit didn't you? It doesn't work on service pack 2.
Him: Are you psychic?
Me: Something like that. It's the time on the helpdesk. It makes us all psychic. Well something beginning with psych anyway...

The Job... the job...

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

What if R Lee Ermey did tech support? He'd probably sound like this: (Edit: He would also know how to write a damned HTML tag. I commit seppuku with a spork in shame.)
( To protect thine sensitive little eyesies )

Uh oh....

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

I wonder if I should be worried. One of my users just called me and asked how to boot his PC into safe mode.

I didn't ask why. I just told him what to press.

Fortunately, he is one of our savvier users, but still. I'm not sure I want to know.

(no subject)

[kitschicat.livejournal.com]

Pompous Publisher, calling from a huge convention center: "Hello, I am in an elevator here at the show and my Treo is getting spotty email service. Sometimes it's working but it's not 100%"


Let's see.

(1) You are in a huge ass convention center that is about 180,000 s.f. of space and is notorius for poor wireless reception.

(2) You are in an ELEVATOR at said convention center.

I'm sure its my moron ISP tech but....

[mattdoesntcare.livejournal.com]

Hey guys there isn't some brand spanking new virus that you're getting calls about that is infecting 2k and Xp boxes and only allows the user to to view certain webpages and log into certain instand messengers is there?