I do not...

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's right, I'm the Help Desk.

Help Desk means I do IT support.

It does not mean that I know anything about the mail room. It does not mean that I know the number to the location in Podunk, Utah. It does not mean that I can tell you who to talk to in HR about your benefits. It does not mean that I can get the bathroom door fixed for you. It does not mean that I can help you order drill bits, and we have a lot of salespeople so I don't know who handles what. No, I won't give you the phone number to the department director, but I will send you to his admin. And while yes, I know that fax machines are somewhat techy, your office manager should be able to find someone to fix it a lot easier than I can, given we don't work on those things. Remember that we have two toll-free numbers. One of these is the main line. Give that number out, not the help desk line, when talking to your customers, because I really dislike being used as a call transfer facilitator unless you actually work in IT.

However, I'm sure if you call our main number and talk to the receptionist, she would be able to help you a whole lot more easily than I can!

(no subject)

[random-c.livejournal.com]

Not so much a tale as a warning:

Today we had a Telewest engineer round to fix my land line. Coming back after making a cup of tea, my gran - who was the only person available to stay home at such short notice - found the guy, who she thought had left, using my PC.
We have broadband, and even if it had been a broadband issue, last time I had a broadband issue, they refused to touch the machine unless I was there. Finding the guy still there has scared the wits out of my gran, who only realised he *was* when he coughed.
So, if you're having ANYONE round, even if they're from a company you trust - take the time off, don't leave it to your gran.

Yo She-Bitch... Let's go.

[methedras.livejournal.com]

Hey bitch,

1) Do not try and tell me that I have no ability in customer service. I eat, breathe, and shit customer service. Primarily the latter of the three.
2) Do not try and tell me how the company should run itself internally, and that our well trained staff are hopeless.
3) Do not try and tell me that "As the customer I should be overpowering you, not you overpowering me". I'm the one with the knowledge here, I'm running the show.
4) Do not tell me that at the age of 24 I do not have the experience to do my job properly.
5) Do not become indignant when I tell you that I am offended by your statement, and furthermore when I advise you that you are rude.
6) Do not feign surprise when you find out that : Yes, I am the supervisor, and I'm telling you that you're a bitch.


Yours faithfully,

The guy who was going to fix your problem.


( Actual call notes within... )