What are you DOING!!!
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:47 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
ohmyhead.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryJesus H. Christopher Walken in the trunk of my car eating Cheetos in the nude. The woman to my right is dumber than a cabbage patch. Today's exchange, wanna hear it? Here it go...
Her: My printer won't print.
Me: How many times must I show you this? See that flashing red light? Reeeead the display. It says "Change Cyan Toner".
Her: I did that yesterday!
Me: Then why is this black toner box here?
Her: It said to change Cyan so I did.
Me: I've told you the last THREE times your Cyan ran out, CYAN IS BLUE!!!! Jesus.
Her: Uuh, er, um...*silence* while I thanklessly fix her printer.
Moments later...
Her in IM: I can't do V-Cards for some reason.
Me: (I go over there AGAIN, punch up V-Card help in Outlook. She promptly clicks it off and asks if I will help her.) Why did you click that off? That's everything you need to know about V-Cards. (I am trying very hard to grow a single self-sufficient bone in her hot but useless body.)
Her: No, I know how to DO them. But I can't get in here. (Shared network drive. When she double-clicks, she can't enter, and instructions for verifying her credentials pops up.)
Me: You changed your password a couple of days ago you said. The instructions for what to do are right there on the scr...
Her: *click* And they're gone.
Me: Why did you...
Her: (Tries to hit the share again)
Me: There! Right there, reeeeead THAT. (She does as I walk away. She still can't get in. So I recommend she close everything and REBOOT.)
Her, 10 mins later: Ok, it's all off!
Me: Oooook?
Me, 10 mins later: So, is everything up and running, all good?
Her: Pffft, ah been waitin' on you!
murderdeathkill
Me: I asked you to reboot. So ok, just turn your computer back on and log in. (Meanwhile I am trying to do something else at my desk that is HER job because she is an incompetent twat. Er, twit.)
Her: Now my computer won't even turn ON!
Me: (I walk over to her desk for the 10th time today, and it's only lunchtime, to find her pushing the power button on her monitor over and over.)
Her: See? It won't start up!
Me: Well, your monitor is on. *pause* But your computer isn't.
Her: (She looks under her desk and claims it IS on. I have already looked and it is definitely OFF. She is looking at the pretty red switch...ON THE POWER STRIP! At this point, I feel a stroke coming on.)
Me: I assure you, it is off. Do you have a computer at home by any chance?
Her: Yes. (All attitudinal, making this even worse.)
Me: Well then, please turn on your computer. (So get this: She reaches under her desk and grabs all the cords plugged into the power strip and starts pulling them toward her so she can reach the power strip switch. I swear to god.)
Me: What are you DOING? Ok, listen. You will be the very first person I have EVER worked with that I've had to show how to turn on their own computer. (And *doink* I hit the big blue power button on the front of her tower.)
Her: Oh, well I have a laptop at home.
Me: 0_o I will bet your laptop has a power button on it, too. You know what? I'm...I'm speechless. I just don't know what to say. (And I return to my desk to sit, rocking in my chair, in full view of her, holding my head in both hands.)
Moments later...
Her: (She walks over to my cube, all super-shitty like, and says) Please reset my password and I'll try never to ask for your help again. (And she returns to her desk, pouting.)
Me: Oh, you can ask me for help, that's what I'm here for. But it's not ALL I am here for! (You neeed to be more self-sufficient like all the others who have sat in that chair before you.) <--- I didn't actually say this part aloud, but I surely thought it.
So I reset her password and walk it back over to her desk...and see that she has the wrong format in the username field to log in!! I tell her to delete that, and Oh, here's the password you made me reset for no reason. She logged in, and hasn't said another word to me, and most definitely not a thank you. But this episode has helped me figure out why she always seems so ungrateful for me helping her all the time. It's because she knows that *I* know she is a totally incompetent meathole who is in waaaay over her head. She is fooling some folks, but has no hope in hell of fooling me. And get this. She's an Executive Assistant, making a considerable amount of money more than I am.
Question: Would you show this/tell this tale to her boss if you were me?
Her: My printer won't print.
Me: How many times must I show you this? See that flashing red light? Reeeead the display. It says "Change Cyan Toner".
Her: I did that yesterday!
Me: Then why is this black toner box here?
Her: It said to change Cyan so I did.
Me: I've told you the last THREE times your Cyan ran out, CYAN IS BLUE!!!! Jesus.
Her: Uuh, er, um...*silence* while I thanklessly fix her printer.
Moments later...
Her in IM: I can't do V-Cards for some reason.
Me: (I go over there AGAIN, punch up V-Card help in Outlook. She promptly clicks it off and asks if I will help her.) Why did you click that off? That's everything you need to know about V-Cards. (I am trying very hard to grow a single self-sufficient bone in her hot but useless body.)
Her: No, I know how to DO them. But I can't get in here. (Shared network drive. When she double-clicks, she can't enter, and instructions for verifying her credentials pops up.)
Me: You changed your password a couple of days ago you said. The instructions for what to do are right there on the scr...
Her: *click* And they're gone.
Me: Why did you...
Her: (Tries to hit the share again)
Me: There! Right there, reeeeead THAT. (She does as I walk away. She still can't get in. So I recommend she close everything and REBOOT.)
Her, 10 mins later: Ok, it's all off!
Me: Oooook?
Me, 10 mins later: So, is everything up and running, all good?
Her: Pffft, ah been waitin' on you!
murderdeathkill
Me: I asked you to reboot. So ok, just turn your computer back on and log in. (Meanwhile I am trying to do something else at my desk that is HER job because she is an incompetent twat. Er, twit.)
Her: Now my computer won't even turn ON!
Me: (I walk over to her desk for the 10th time today, and it's only lunchtime, to find her pushing the power button on her monitor over and over.)
Her: See? It won't start up!
Me: Well, your monitor is on. *pause* But your computer isn't.
Her: (She looks under her desk and claims it IS on. I have already looked and it is definitely OFF. She is looking at the pretty red switch...ON THE POWER STRIP! At this point, I feel a stroke coming on.)
Me: I assure you, it is off. Do you have a computer at home by any chance?
Her: Yes. (All attitudinal, making this even worse.)
Me: Well then, please turn on your computer. (So get this: She reaches under her desk and grabs all the cords plugged into the power strip and starts pulling them toward her so she can reach the power strip switch. I swear to god.)
Me: What are you DOING? Ok, listen. You will be the very first person I have EVER worked with that I've had to show how to turn on their own computer. (And *doink* I hit the big blue power button on the front of her tower.)
Her: Oh, well I have a laptop at home.
Me: 0_o I will bet your laptop has a power button on it, too. You know what? I'm...I'm speechless. I just don't know what to say. (And I return to my desk to sit, rocking in my chair, in full view of her, holding my head in both hands.)
Moments later...
Her: (She walks over to my cube, all super-shitty like, and says) Please reset my password and I'll try never to ask for your help again. (And she returns to her desk, pouting.)
Me: Oh, you can ask me for help, that's what I'm here for. But it's not ALL I am here for! (You neeed to be more self-sufficient like all the others who have sat in that chair before you.) <--- I didn't actually say this part aloud, but I surely thought it.
So I reset her password and walk it back over to her desk...and see that she has the wrong format in the username field to log in!! I tell her to delete that, and Oh, here's the password you made me reset for no reason. She logged in, and hasn't said another word to me, and most definitely not a thank you. But this episode has helped me figure out why she always seems so ungrateful for me helping her all the time. It's because she knows that *I* know she is a totally incompetent meathole who is in waaaay over her head. She is fooling some folks, but has no hope in hell of fooling me. And get this. She's an Executive Assistant, making a considerable amount of money more than I am.
Question: Would you show this/tell this tale to her boss if you were me?
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Date: 2007-08-23 02:18 am (UTC)