i'm in yr macz, fixin yr softwarez.

[falnfenix]

Dear Mac Users,

Yes, you are set up as admins on your machines. I realize you believe this to mean you can do whatever the hell you want, but please, understand something.

The more software you kill, the more you will have to see me. I realize that in person I'm so saccharine I could give Satan diabetes, and I understand you just want me to leave you be. If you don't want to see me nearly every week when you inevitably kill Word for the umpteenth time this month, STOP MUCKING WITH IT. Use the software as it was intended to be used. If you intend to ignore this request, you will see me every. single. week. until you stop.

no love,

_falnfenix_


Dear User,

I understand that English isn't your first language, and I understand you're not terribly computer literate. Yes, I showed you how to add printers - after I added the ONE printer you will be using. It's a fluke that the computer recognized that Xerox all-in-one piece of trash. You have known since day 1 that we don't support them, yet ordered it anyway like a moron - don't be surprised if we don't do much with it. That said, didn't you notice my colleague (who happens to be a Mac Genius) and I were there for a half hour trying to figure out why the OS X drivers for it wouldn't work? We weren't there for our health - we had plenty of other users to see that particular day. WHAT in the flying fluffernutter would possess you to delete said printer? Did you merely want to see us again? STOP MUCKING WITH IT!!

no love,

_falnfenix_



hi. not quite a newb - i lurk, rather than post, and spend much of my time nodding at the stupidity of the luzers people encounter here. these two users really chapped my posterior this morning, figured i'd share.

Comments

[jecook]

Yeah.

I had a cow-orker that does not like having icons on the desktop, so he proceeded to nuke all the icons on the desktop.

On the shared tech systems. And the icons are all tools that we use on a daily basis.

The second time this happened a wrote a cute script that puts them back, but by then he had gotten talked to about it.

[falnfenix]

i just wish i were permitted to take away their admin rights. things would be so much simpler if i could.

[reddalek.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I kind of wondered that, why can't you?

I also manage OS X systems and unless it is really, really needed, none of my users have admin rights. Life *is* much simpler.

So let me guess, it is a piece of poorly written software that is forcing you to make them have admin rights.
Am I right?

[falnfenix]

it's part of our Mac policy that all users must be made administrators...so if by "poorly written software" you mean "bureaucratic retardation," you'd be absolutely right!

[canray.livejournal.com]

Closer to "Poorly Written Wetware", then, gotcha.

[falnfenix]

precisely. poorly written and poorly implemented.

[reddalek.livejournal.com]

Well, that is just as bad if not worse. If it was a technical problem (like I guessed) that would be easier to stomach but brain dead policy is just nasty.

[falnfenix]

yup...it's fun

[knirirr.livejournal.com]

I had a cow-orker that does not like having icons on the desktop

I can quite understand that, as desktop icons are of the devil. However, deleting other people's icons is rather naughty.

[falnfenix]

icons = clutter. i, too, agree with not wanting them on my personal machine. deleting them from a group machine, however, is a big no-no.

[7leaguebootdisk.livejournal.com]

Why would I want to hid all windows, find the icon, click on it?

Never used icons on the desktop, not MacOS 7 or 8, OS/2, Win3.1-XP, The X Window System, NeXT, Mac OS X. Heck, I've used gui's that didn't support them (the WMX window manager) and not missed them.

[falnfenix]

it's a matter of preference. what works for you doesn't work for me.

[lillyflowers.livejournal.com]

Because, Mac OS X has a Dock (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mac_OS_X) where you can have aliases of program icons, or an alias of folder (like "Idiot Customer Stories"). There is no need to desktop an icon and have the clutter of the Windows world.

[falnfenix]

hell, i dont' have clutter on my winblows computer, either. ;)

[lillyflowers.livejournal.com]

clutter is the evil. ;-)

[lillyflowers.livejournal.com]

I guess then a desktop like this (http://pics.livejournal.com/lillyflowers/pic/00014gap) would make you a happy techie?

[ace-brickman.livejournal.com]

that's what the dock is for ;-)

[knirirr.livejournal.com]

What is the point of icons at all, when all one's work is done in a terminal? Both on Linux and Mac I only use the GUI to display nice desktop wallpaper and some sort of system monitor (e.g. gkrellm or iPulse).

[reddalek.livejournal.com]

I somewhat agree, desktop icons are evil sometimes.

Great story: One user had the idea to put every document that they use most often on the desktop. Fine, put the icons on the desktop, no problemo I don't care. Folders were a mystery to her. Her machine was a older PowerMac running OS 7.6, 15inch monitor, 800x600 resolution, so she really didn't have much of a desktop to use up.

The problem was when she (or someone else) selected all of the icons and made aliases of each file. Multiple times. This can be easily done (and I suspect it was done this way) by two different keyboard shortcuts in order.

Spent about 15-20 minutes cleaning that up first before doing what I was there to do. Needless to say, my boss had a word with her.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

On my shared computers, the icons are on All User's Desktop. If someone decides to clena up "their desktop" it fucks with EVERYONE's desktop.

I finally put a small bat in a hidden dir (and called it from the registry) to re-copy the shared icons anytime ANYONE logs in. Bang! No more missing icons, and a select few annoying users with many, many copies of them! :-)

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Rather than quit out of Word, they use Force-Quit? Wah?

I'm used to Mac users leaving apps running, after closing all their windows (not picking on you, Mom, even though you've had a Mac since '96 and every time I visit, I close half a dozen apps you have running and then you're amazed how much faster your computer runs) but killing off apps instead of quiting; Weird!

[falnfenix]

there are MANY users who "break" office regularly...by dragging it to the trash...and then they can't figure out why their icons won't work.

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Oh, the closing windows without quitting the apps. Yeah, that can get annoying, especially if the machine in question is a second generation iMac that's barely squeaking along running 10.3.9 and leaving, say, Mail and Word running full time brings it to its knees. And even more especially if it happens to be the print server for the whole house. Yes, that gets fun. *headdesk*

Personally, if I have one more person whine to me about not being a "computer expert", I'm going to be sorely tempted to put my fist through the wall of my cube. Of *course* you're not a computer expert if you're talking to me, my *job* is to be the "computer expert". But I do need you to participate in the process and I need to have some idea of what you're seeing and doing, and sitting there crying "fix it" is only going to get on my medieval side ..

[falnfenix]

*snort* yeah, thank goodness we've eliminated all but a few bondi iMacs...and those are barely being used to any of their true capabilities.

[wibbble]

I've had so many replies to emails where they ignored everything I said because 'it was all in computer-speak'.

Thankfully, I can reply with 'We can advise that we have previously advised you on the correct process to resolve your issue. If you are unable or unwilling to follow these instructions COMPANY will not be able to provider further assistance."

Actually, it's even worse when they reply with 'WAAA TOO HARD' to my 'more info' emails. Which tell them exactly how to get the info I need.

[falnfenix]

those users...ugh. i sic my manager on them...he usually tells them ANSWER THE QUESTIONS OR WE'RE NOT SUPPORTING YOU EVER AGAIN.

basically, he scares them into submission. :)

[wibbble]

I don't even need to do that - the company I represent doesn't give a fuck about customer service, so no one cares if I just reply saying, effectively, 'We won't help you if you won't give us the information we've asked for'.

[falnfenix]

ah...i work in a hospital, where our primary purpose is to assist in patient care. provided they stick within our guidelines, the docs get all the help they want.

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

Oh, the closing windows without quitting the apps.

My boyfriend, who is by NO means computer stupid does this every. single. TIME. that he uses my macbook pro. It drives me up a wall. And he does it ON PURPOSE. He says "file --> quit is too hard, I should be able to just hit the x. And key commands don't work." It doesn't matter how matter how many times I say "lots of key commands are the same as the windows versions, just hit apple instead of alt", apple Q is still apparently above his threshhold for work he should invest in closing the computer.

Then, inevidably, he goes "your laptop sucks. It's too slow". I look, and he's got like...photoshop, preview, safari, mail, and adium still open...and is trying to watch a movie. *facepalm* "But I hit the X's!!" *grumblemotherfrakkingwindowspieceofshitosgrumble*

[falnfenix]

well...THAT is common with people who know windows and use OS X because that's all in front of them at the time. it was a common problem when OS X came out - people (switchers) couldn't fathom why their computers were so SLOW.

[erikarn.livejournal.com]

But I thought virtual memory was meant to make this sort of lifestyle -wonderful-! Just page the apps out you don't need, they'll be paged in when you use them again. Gone are the days of the ARM-based RISC/OS machines where you had to allocate applications tile/sprite, working and process RAM!

Whats that? The apps don't run with a strict event-triggered loop and have threads on timer events which wake up periodically to do background stuff, like check for events? Oh gods! My poor hard disk!

[japester.livejournal.com]

so why do you let him still use it? It's your computer, therefore your rules should stand.

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

Well, because it doesn't happen often, and because it doesn't really HURT anything for him to do it.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Closing windows/apps with force quit.... I just ran into a user who thought the wya to shut off her docked Dell laptop was to HOLD IN the power button....

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

I love those...I've had ones who thought that the way to reboot a laptop was to rip out the battery. >.

[zastrazzi.livejournal.com]

Might want to install a copy of DragThing... makes it terribly obvious what's still running ;)

http://dragthing.com/