i'm in yr macz, fixin yr softwarez.

[falnfenix]

Dear Mac Users,

Yes, you are set up as admins on your machines. I realize you believe this to mean you can do whatever the hell you want, but please, understand something.

The more software you kill, the more you will have to see me. I realize that in person I'm so saccharine I could give Satan diabetes, and I understand you just want me to leave you be. If you don't want to see me nearly every week when you inevitably kill Word for the umpteenth time this month, STOP MUCKING WITH IT. Use the software as it was intended to be used. If you intend to ignore this request, you will see me every. single. week. until you stop.

no love,

_falnfenix_


Dear User,

I understand that English isn't your first language, and I understand you're not terribly computer literate. Yes, I showed you how to add printers - after I added the ONE printer you will be using. It's a fluke that the computer recognized that Xerox all-in-one piece of trash. You have known since day 1 that we don't support them, yet ordered it anyway like a moron - don't be surprised if we don't do much with it. That said, didn't you notice my colleague (who happens to be a Mac Genius) and I were there for a half hour trying to figure out why the OS X drivers for it wouldn't work? We weren't there for our health - we had plenty of other users to see that particular day. WHAT in the flying fluffernutter would possess you to delete said printer? Did you merely want to see us again? STOP MUCKING WITH IT!!

no love,

_falnfenix_



hi. not quite a newb - i lurk, rather than post, and spend much of my time nodding at the stupidity of the luzers people encounter here. these two users really chapped my posterior this morning, figured i'd share.

Comments

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Oh, the closing windows without quitting the apps. Yeah, that can get annoying, especially if the machine in question is a second generation iMac that's barely squeaking along running 10.3.9 and leaving, say, Mail and Word running full time brings it to its knees. And even more especially if it happens to be the print server for the whole house. Yes, that gets fun. *headdesk*

Personally, if I have one more person whine to me about not being a "computer expert", I'm going to be sorely tempted to put my fist through the wall of my cube. Of *course* you're not a computer expert if you're talking to me, my *job* is to be the "computer expert". But I do need you to participate in the process and I need to have some idea of what you're seeing and doing, and sitting there crying "fix it" is only going to get on my medieval side ..

[falnfenix]

*snort* yeah, thank goodness we've eliminated all but a few bondi iMacs...and those are barely being used to any of their true capabilities.

[wibbble]

I've had so many replies to emails where they ignored everything I said because 'it was all in computer-speak'.

Thankfully, I can reply with 'We can advise that we have previously advised you on the correct process to resolve your issue. If you are unable or unwilling to follow these instructions COMPANY will not be able to provider further assistance."

Actually, it's even worse when they reply with 'WAAA TOO HARD' to my 'more info' emails. Which tell them exactly how to get the info I need.

[falnfenix]

those users...ugh. i sic my manager on them...he usually tells them ANSWER THE QUESTIONS OR WE'RE NOT SUPPORTING YOU EVER AGAIN.

basically, he scares them into submission. :)

[wibbble]

I don't even need to do that - the company I represent doesn't give a fuck about customer service, so no one cares if I just reply saying, effectively, 'We won't help you if you won't give us the information we've asked for'.

[falnfenix]

ah...i work in a hospital, where our primary purpose is to assist in patient care. provided they stick within our guidelines, the docs get all the help they want.

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

Oh, the closing windows without quitting the apps.

My boyfriend, who is by NO means computer stupid does this every. single. TIME. that he uses my macbook pro. It drives me up a wall. And he does it ON PURPOSE. He says "file --> quit is too hard, I should be able to just hit the x. And key commands don't work." It doesn't matter how matter how many times I say "lots of key commands are the same as the windows versions, just hit apple instead of alt", apple Q is still apparently above his threshhold for work he should invest in closing the computer.

Then, inevidably, he goes "your laptop sucks. It's too slow". I look, and he's got like...photoshop, preview, safari, mail, and adium still open...and is trying to watch a movie. *facepalm* "But I hit the X's!!" *grumblemotherfrakkingwindowspieceofshitosgrumble*

[falnfenix]

well...THAT is common with people who know windows and use OS X because that's all in front of them at the time. it was a common problem when OS X came out - people (switchers) couldn't fathom why their computers were so SLOW.

[erikarn.livejournal.com]

But I thought virtual memory was meant to make this sort of lifestyle -wonderful-! Just page the apps out you don't need, they'll be paged in when you use them again. Gone are the days of the ARM-based RISC/OS machines where you had to allocate applications tile/sprite, working and process RAM!

Whats that? The apps don't run with a strict event-triggered loop and have threads on timer events which wake up periodically to do background stuff, like check for events? Oh gods! My poor hard disk!

[japester.livejournal.com]

so why do you let him still use it? It's your computer, therefore your rules should stand.

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

Well, because it doesn't happen often, and because it doesn't really HURT anything for him to do it.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Closing windows/apps with force quit.... I just ran into a user who thought the wya to shut off her docked Dell laptop was to HOLD IN the power button....

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

I love those...I've had ones who thought that the way to reboot a laptop was to rip out the battery. >.

[zastrazzi.livejournal.com]

Might want to install a copy of DragThing... makes it terribly obvious what's still running ;)

http://dragthing.com/