Open letter to IT managers and Their Staff

[toxico.livejournal.com]

Dear Overly-Self-Important Asspandas:

Reasons for calling support include features not working properly, errors during install or normal use, or requests for information in preparation for upgrades to either our products, your operating system or your mail server.

While there are other reasons, one of them is NOT so that we may function as a living and breathing product manual. If you want to know about new features from one version to the next, try reading the fucking file that is aptly named Readme.txt. I don't care what your excuse is, especially if it involves the words "no one ever reads those."

Furthermore, we are not your parents and will not tell you a bedtime story. Therefore, when you say "We pay for support so instead of me reading the documentation you can just tell me," I am simply going to repeat the phrase "That information is in the documentation." Until we begin producing manuals in Audio Book format, which will begin at approximately 0-fuck-hundred on the 30th of February, kindly eat a dick, deflate your ego, and read like it's Harry fucking Potter.

Seething & Abject Hatred,
Tox

Comments

Re: I did this in the name of science

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

Upon further experimentation, I've found that "ass" + (animal name of any syllable count, starting with S) also does not work.

Hence, "asssnake," "assskink," and "asssalamander" are all bad examples.

I have found that a rather good one is "assaardvark," but for my money "asspenguin" takes the cake.

Carry on then!