Another Tale of Stupidity....Hope it makes SOMEONE smile... (also in my personal journal)

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

I had a guy that was arguing with me about something he had no clue about (I know, what else is new). As I am walking him through getting his computer prepared to connect to the HomePortal, he asks about Internet Explorer. Here's the conversation:

EU: What's Internet Explorer?
ME: It's a web browser.
EU: What's a web browser?
ME: It allows you to look at web pages...er... pages on the internet.
EU: What's a page on the internet?
ME: *puts customer on mute* WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GETTING #$@KING HIGHSPEED INTERNET IF YOU HAVE NO @#@$KING CLUE WHAT IT IS!?!?!?!? *takes customer off mute*

-- Luckily at this point, his computer had finished rebooting, so I didn't need to explain anymore --

This was just a small portion of this call. There was another point where he asked about the ethernet card he wasn't using and whether he should keep it in his computer. I had just about had it with all of the useless BS he had slung at me, that my response was... "You can take it out. You can keep it in. You can do whatever would be easiest for you and make you happy." *placed customer on mute* "You can shove it up your ass for all I care." *take customer off mute*
Needless to say, my team lead's head snapped around, then he realized that I had put the customer on mute and started laughing.

Comments

[chaobell]

We once had a tech who didn't know what a web browser was.

No, he didn't last very long.

[alacrity.livejournal.com]

Ya know, that's an awful lot of trust you put in your mute button. ;-)

*ducks head*

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

I know... I've been told that many times... I mainly put my trust in the red light above the mute button. But I myself have said it many times to customers... "Nothing is infallible."
Someday, I may get into trouble.....

[chickenfart.livejournal.com]

The last call centre I worked at made sure to add a section to the training that explained how our mute buttons didn't work correctly all the time, so it was best not to try and use them.

I later found out that the reason for this is to discourage the use of it because sometimes techs themselves don't always hit the mute button correctly, or the snyde remarks could sometimes be heard by customers on other calls, thus causing immense customer service issues ;)

[miharu.livejournal.com]

I'm a big fan of the "what program do you use to check your mail, sir?" "uh, what do you mean?" "you know, perhaps outlook express or netscape mail?" "i use internet outlook yahoo!" and the always nice "to sign up with our spam assassin service, you can go to our website at blah.net" "how do i do that?" "you would open up your browser and type the address i just gave you into the address bar and press enter. it should bring the page up." "i don't understand why i have to open this page. i've never had to open a page in all of the time that i've subscribed with your service!" it makes you wonder what they were doing all that time with an internet connection that they weren't using...
while i don't get much use out of my mute button, i do find myself flipping the receiver off quite a bit.

[punkygoat.livejournal.com]

You = 2wire tech?

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

/me nods

[punkygoat.livejournal.com]

Jeez, my people probably hose customers to you all the damn time. That's what SBC gets when they don't offer support for products they provide. Hell, all we can do with the wireless Homeportal is check for sync.

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

HAHAH...sometimes we get some bad transfers that are just ridiculous because it's not synched up. I understand that you guys aren't familiar with the HomePortal. Hell, when I worked for EarthLink I was lost with lots of products we didn't support... When I first started here it was BAAAAD. But SBC has gotten better in relation with us... hehe

[akage.livejournal.com]

Some day, I intend to write an ode to the mute button.

Now if only I could figure out a way to mute the *user*.