We have nothing to hide!

[celyste.livejournal.com]

Does anyone else find that the best and fastest calls are the ones where you end up lying (or only telling half the truth) to the customer to get them to do what you want the first time through?

Things like having them bypass the router "to make sure you're getting a signal coming off of the modem". Or in cabletv tech having them "turn the converter off" when you're actually getting them to turn it on since they've already shut it off and won't admit that that's why there's no pic.

Even the 'oh no sir, that error always comes up (when you've randomly editted things out of the registry), and I'm sure so-and-so can help you with that. It happens so often!'

I remember being happy when I started my job that they wouldn't ask us to lie for the company, and now it seems that yeah, they don't ask you to lie, but if you do, life is mucch easier!

Hopefully that's not all too off topic. Feel free to toss it if it is.

Comments

[ezerick.livejournal.com]

"remember being happy when I started my job that they wouldn't ask us to lie for the company, and now it seems that yeah, they don't ask you to lie, but if you do, life is mucch easier!"

The perfected art of reverse psychology on the part of management. You feel better about lying if you figue it out than if they had told you outright to. Also applies to fudging reports and time sheets. They can't outright tell you that all those numbers don't HAVE to be nearly true (or even sometimes remotely near the truth)

[celyste.livejournal.com]

obviously my standards have changed *L* I don't feel at all bad when lying to a customer anymore, just happy that my ears don't hurt. *L*

Ended up with one yesterday... he didn't get a disco notice. Now, to my defense the notices are secondary to the little printouts on the bills. I heard myself saying that we didn't print them anymore due to an attempt to be more environmentally friendly. I felt bad in a way after, but there was no questions asked about it, and he thought it was a great idea. oops.

[celyste.livejournal.com]

yeah... and playing dumb is so time consuming. THey never know what they actually want.

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

"Temporary network glitch" is much easier than telling the customer that half a decade of running their computer without maintenance of any kind is finally starting to catch up with them.

[alysania.livejournal.com]

hahahah good one! it only gets tough when they start asking why and blaming you for not running their network properly. *sigh*

[dirtymatt.livejournal.com]

"Oh Windows just had a hiccup, you know Windows, it just does that."

[katyism.livejournal.com]

Yep. I'm not good at the lies, but I try anyway. Or at least to not lie, but creatively re-word the point I want to drive into their skulls.

[akage.livejournal.com]

LOL...first private sector tech support job I ever worked, we were REQUIRED to lie on a regular basis. We were an outsourced desk down here in NC doing 24/7/365 support for a lot of little mom-and-pop ISPs scattered all over the country. Who, for various reasons, didn't want their userbase to know that the support was outsourced. So we always had to lie and claim to be in the same podunk town that the ISP was in.

Which gets a bit tricky when:

A. A third of your desk have unmistakeable Southern accents, and you're supposed to be in New York or the Berkshires.

B. Another third of your desk are orthodox Sunnis, with names like Abdullah, Ismailiya, and Khadija...and the ISP is a "Christian" ISP in white-bread Colorado Springs.

C. The user has some hardware problem and says, "Well I'll just bring it down and y'all can fix it there." (I one time told a user to bring it by and he could buy me lunch...hope somebody got a free lunch out of it)

[shirenomad]

Another third of your desk are orthodox Sunnis, with names like Abdullah, Ismailiya, and Khadija...and the ISP is a "Christian" ISP in white-bread Colorado Springs.

"Umm, we regularly hire from the local chapter of, err, 'Muslims for Jesus.'"
"Really?"
"Really. Have a happy Ramadan."

[celyste.livejournal.com]

hehehe... us too. we're outsourced, and supposed to say we're local to them. I've no ability at geography in other countries though, so I gave up on that one a long time ago.

On the up side, we generally get a better response when they hear where we are. A couple of the field techs have a direct number to our office so they don't have to "put up with the idiots" in their state.*L* not bad for flattery.

cabletv tech here

[lil-pink-pixie.livejournal.com]

"Or in cabletv tech having them "turn the converter off" when you're actually getting them to turn it on since they've already shut it off and won't admit that that's why there's no pic"

I use that one daily!

Re: cabletv tech here

[celyste.livejournal.com]

I also like finding out if they have a cat or not. "Oh, the cat just probably brushed against the button".

Art of the Polite Question

[dario.livejournal.com]

It can be very trying on one's nerves when trying to ask the Polite question, instead of just saying...Dude Look at the front panel...No lights?? NO POWER!@!! Plug it in MORON!!!!

Many years ago I would make several service calls,(does any one do actual service calls anymore??) to do simple things like plug in printers that became unplugged.

I hate to admit this but one day a couple of years ago we bout some dell 1Us for Lab machines and after several hours on the phone with Tech support had a service call and the tech just pushed the power button on. In our lame defense...we had no manuals for the boxes and could not find them on-line....and We are supposed to be smart dudes....This can happen to anyone!!

Do not fear to ask the question if you think it will lead directly to the solution. Just be careful of your phrasing. No one really wants to admit they are a DUMBASS.

Re: Art of the Polite Question

[celyste.livejournal.com]

hehehe... we use a lot of motorolla modems. standby light? Yeah... office network admin called me in a couple panic that he couldn't get the thing set up when the modem was in standby. You could hear the embarassment... and the relief *L*.

I think everyone probably learns that one the hard way at some point. My was a power cord to a monitor that I tripped on whenleaving the desk one day, and couldn't see anything on the next. Silly me.

[koryweb.livejournal.com]

The lie I see myself using a lot is where after the 9th power cycle when the machine starts working again for no apparent reason, I get to fake this confidence and give the user some beautiful anecdote as though they'd be able to use that gem of *cough* knowledge should the problem occur again.

Sadly, having worked in customer service for nearly 6 years, I can sniff out with great ease when I'm getting the token lies told to me. Anyone have any experience on the flip side of the techsupport white lie?