(no subject)

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

COLON IS NOT A TECHNICAL TERM!!!!!!!

Comments

[a-green-macaw.livejournal.com]

Colon as ... " : " or Colon as

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

Colon as in ":"

[a-green-macaw.livejournal.com]

Akk! A Colon I forgot. However I am not sure as this picture looks very similar to the one above.

Heh

[hoffman-log.livejournal.com]

Not to steal the comment from Chris Rock (who I don't really find funny, but sometimes he does make me laugh), but the above picture says it all...

You know we live in a fucked up country where the three most powerful government officials are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.

_MaH

Even though i'm pretty sure it's spelled Colin.

i had

[belovedcrown.livejournal.com]

i had a client from overseas ask me last week what a semi-colon was. We were going over code. I didn't know what to say. I was dumbfounded. Luckily, another quick thinking support rep stepped in and said "it is a comma with a period over top" To which the man replied, "What is a comma?"

seriously.

Re: i had

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

OMG.... *beats her head into the desk*

These are the moments when you want to say, "I'm sorry, but I must discontinue this call. You are required to have at least passed the 1st grade to receive any help. Thank you for calling." *CLICK*

Re: i had

[oddball42.livejournal.com]

im really hopeing this is a language barrier, because if they were just that dumb, they have no business looking at code.

[13dreams.livejournal.com]

Although you could technically use the term while on a call.
With sayings like

Please take your damned attitude and stick it in your colon.

or

If you are so stupid that you can't figure out your left from your right mouse button... you can take the mouse and shove it up your colon.

I also prefer...

Customer : "Yeah.. I'm having problems with my computer and my colon isn't working"
Tech : Sounds like a personal problem to me...If you could take your head out of your ass for a minute... I'm sure everything will return back to normal.

[punkygoat.livejournal.com]

((nod)) I find it helps to say...((shudder)) 'double-dot'. Odd thing is I've gotten this outside of work.
I dunno if this tops that, but I have to tell customers to use HYPHEN a lot, and many don't know that...and sometimes, they don't even know DASH.
"The minus sign, sir."
Oh, and I doubt I've ever had a customer know what an UNDERSCORE was.

[wildkard.livejournal.com]

Yes... there are definitely some days when they should be smacked with a Grade 4 education upside the head.

Have I told you about the blank stares I've gotten from some people whilst using the word "paranthesis"? *groan*
And don't get me started on how nobody knows what an asterix sign is.

[tjernobyl.livejournal.com]

* is really bad. If you call it an asterisk, they won't know what it is. If you call it a star, they'll type out the word 'star'. If you call it shift-8, they'll press and release shift, then press 8...

wow

[hoffman-log.livejournal.com]

I so shouldn't be in tech support. I would totally screw with them.

"Next I want you to hold down the Alt key and press F4. What? It closed the program? Dammit, I was afraid of this... Ok sir, I'm afraid your computer has the rare Hanoi virus. I'm going to need you to reboot the computer. [pause] No sir, I would advise against saving work, as it would just further the spread of the virus. We need to contain this virus at all costs."

[their computer reboots]

"Ok sir. Now I need you to right click on the start button and select the Explore option. On the left will be a listing of the file structure of your system [take hour to explain this to them] Now I need you to open the System32 folder. Right, this is just a folder the virus creates to throw you off. See the System folder? That's the real one. Now sir, what I need you to do is delete every file in the folder. Better yet, just delete the folder. If it gives you any messages about files in use, click "OK" and continue the process."

I think my next caller would be tricked into formatting their harddrive...

The lesson: Know what you're talking about when you call Tech Support. Otherwise we'll end you... ;-)

_MaH