techrecovery | Tales of idiocy...

Tale #1

Me = Yours Truly
TR = Tire Retreader

Me: So, it's a terminal you're on, not a PC?
TR: No, it's a PC. It has a keyboard and everything.
Me: So you're sure you're on a Windows PC, and you're using it in the shop?
TR: Yes, positively sure.
Me: Ok, fine. So, can you right-click on my network places and tell me if you see network connections?
TR: There is no network connections.
Me: Ok, so what does it say when you click on My Computer?
TR: There is no My Computer.
Me: (Getting frustrated)Ok, So, can you look on the side of the computer and tell me if it says anything?
TR: Yeah, it says ET5000 Terminal. Oh...I guess it's a terminal.
Me: Yeah, I guess so.

Tale #2
Me = The Bomb
PS = My father

PS: Son, I think there's a problem with my computer
Me: Alright, what's wrong with it?
PS: The audio makes funny sounds when I'm online, but it doesn't make any weird sounds when I'm offline.
Me: Dad, you have a cable modem, you're always online.
PS: No, I'm not online when I've got the computer off
Me: Duh. So what is it doing when you're online?
PS: When I change the volume on my speakers it makes a crackling sound.
Me: A crackling sound like it might have a short in the volume pot?
PS: Yeah.
Me: Perhaps it's a short in the volume pot.
PS: You know, it might be.

Note: I'd never even heard this so called problem, and I fixed it for him. Turns out it was a short. Swapped speakers, and everything is fine. Oi. I came from him....sheesh

Tale #3

Me = The Awesomeness
TR = Different Tire retreader than tale #1

TR: Yeah, so I have this Handheld here, and it's acting funny.
Me: Can you describe a little more what you mean by "acting funny"
TR: Well, it's giving me this error.
Me: (Waiting for a few seconds) What error?
TR: (verbatim) Aw shit, now I gotta fucking go get this fucking thing
*Noise like he threw phone down, walking, 5 seconds of silence*
TR: Alright, the error says "Error: Your battery is dangerously low, it is recommended you save your work and power down, or connect an external power supply."
Me: Ok, so what's your question?
TR: What's that mean? What should I do?
Me: Um, it means your battery is low, and you're going to lose your work if you don't save it, cause it's going to die. You might want to shut it down or connect an AC adapter.

Note: *headdesk*

I swear, I couldn't make this shit up.