(no subject)

[msgoose.livejournal.com]

User: I cant sign on to your service you have to fix it
Rep is thinking:Oh no I dont you how ever may qualify for a lobotomy

.....
User: You are charging me for a service I dont use!
Rep is thinking: Okay so your computer signed itself on and spent 4 hours on line looking at porn SURRREEEE!

......
User: My dsl isnt working and I want to be refunded for the last two weeks that I have been down
Rep asks: Have you made any changes to your phone service ?
User: Well yah I went from qwest to MCI
Reps thinking: Yah you want credit cuz you screwed up and changed phone companies ?People in hell want Ice water Sh** in one hand want in the other buddy see which fills up first

.....
User :So where are you at
Reps thinking:Florescent Hell!

......
User:So whats the best computer out there now days?
Reps thinking: Why are you trying to over compensate for a short coming else where in your life?

......
User:It says Microscopic winders XP
Reps thinking:MY lord how in the hell did you ever get employement with any company when you cant read!

Comments

[photosinensis.livejournal.com]

User:It says Microscopic winders XP

That's a new one. I mean, yeah, it's just Borgware, Winblows, and a bunch of other things, but Winders is a new one.

[katyism.livejournal.com]

my favorite: Systematic Anti-virus Corporeal Edition.

I'm sure glad I run that. I wouldn't want a non-corporeal entity scanning my system for viruses and being nonsystematic about it.

[photosinensis.livejournal.com]

True, non-corporeal entities don't tend to know much about computers. Trust me, I know several of them. One came to me with his computer that "wasn't working", and I found that he'd been using the Internet irresponsibly: he'd not been using any firewall, had never thought to get an anti-virus, and had no clue why people would install spyware or adware on his machine.

A wipe of the hard disk (thank God for the fact that I carry a Knoppix disk on me at all times) and a Winblows reinstall had him up and running again. And this time, I made sure he did it right.

[msgoose.livejournal.com]

Or the infamous I have AMERICAN Online. Um So what does that have to do with the price of tea in china first secondly ITS AMERICA no N on the end.

[brutalentropy.livejournal.com]

Reps thinking:MY lord how in the hell did you ever get employement with any company when you cant read!

I've wondered that too.
I'm a Tier 1 rep for AppleCare... under OS X, there's an option for Airport networks to "Use Interference Robustness"

The most common one I hear is "interface"
Although I've heard some that are more along the lines of "interfence" and "internet" and "internal"
.......
Yet these same people can try and cop some intellectual pretentious attitude with me... makes me want to say "at least I'm intelligent enough to fucking READ the word interference you fucking TOOL!"

I shit you not, I've worked there for about 4 months, and I have had one customer read it correctly.

[bondles.livejournal.com]

Huh.

I've seen that "Use Inteference Robustness" selection a thousand times. But I swear I saw "interface" until you pointed it out just now.

[brutalentropy.livejournal.com]

Hehehe... oooops ;-)

In all fairness, it's a much more difficult phrase than "Windows XP".

Also, I'm sure it's just a peeve for me because I have to see the phrase 100+ times a week.

[bondles.livejournal.com]

"Oh no I dont you how ever may qualify for a lobotomy"

Punctuation. It's not just for grade school.

Seriously, one exclaimation point and three commas would have made that sentence make infinitely more sense. I had to read it three or four times to figure out what it meant.

[j-digi82.livejournal.com]

Oh, be nice ...

Although, as long as we're on the subject, "however" is one word too. I also had to read the sentence numerous times to understand it, I thought it was a syntax problem until the approximate 20th read. And personally, I think one comma and a period at the end would have sufficed.

Anyway, it's not nice to correct people's grammar.

[bondles.livejournal.com]

I know it's not - and I don't usually do it. People who can't find their shift key, or occasionally misplace an apostrophe, annoy me, but I let it slide. But when an unpunctuated sentence is actually difficult to read, I gotta call that out.

Sometimes it's just important. It's the difference between helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

[msgoose.livejournal.com]

Sorry, usually my grammar is better however, last night I was in a pissy mood and really didn’t give a damn.

[klytus.livejournal.com]

Metaquoted!

[110billion.livejournal.com]

"How do you connect to the internet?"
"I dunno! It usually just works!"

[msgoose.livejournal.com]

Yup or the infamous
User:"I can't connect to the internet."
Me:Okay so what your saying is you can't get to websites, right?
User:No I can't get my mail or websites.
Me:Okay so you don't actually connect to us at all you get some error like no dial tone or unable to establish a connection?"
User:Um No it is telling me it can't "Idolize" my modeum.

At this point I'm trying not to picture the guys computer surrounded on an alter with candles where he can Idolize it and wondering wtf is a Modeum cuz I know what a MODEM is .... LOL

[rrrebo.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how the brain refuses to accept what it sees just because it is new or unusual. We use Nortel's Contivity VPN client, but nobody can actually call it that. They hem and haw and stutter, and every time, their brain refuses to parse the word "Contivity" and ends up throwing out "connectivity" or, worse yet, "continuity!" It boggles the mind.

[infy.livejournal.com]

I keep hearing "Nortel Continenty VPN". But heck, my brain sometimes has problems wrapping around that word too. Doesn't help that Nortel insists on using vague terminologies for simple login issues. "Login Failed - Consult the Switch Log for Further Information". WTF? Although it is funny that people will look high and low for that blasted switch log, that usually means they're ultra-pissy by the time they call in. *smacks Nortel upside the head*