Hopefully this will amuse you all more than it amused me.

[katyism.livejournal.com]

I do phone tech support for Indiana University.

Today's story stars me and a bitch. I don't know why it bothered me so much, because I deal with rude idiots like her at least once every day, but after I took her call I was shaking and could barely type, and I wanted to scream at my co-workers how stupid she was. Ugh.

Me: Tech support, can I help you?
Bitch: Yes, a quick question. Has Microsoft Professional Edition XP Office for 2004 software come out yet?
Me: I'm not quite sure which product you're referring to. ** see note **
Bitch: SIGH!!! I always have such a problem asking questions of people from Indiana.
Me: Ma'am, there is no software with that name. Are you referring to Office, which comes with Word and Excel and stuff, or the actual operating system called Windows XP Professional Edition?
Bitch: Ugh, let me just EXPLAIN IT TO YOU. I want the 2004 edition of Windows XP for Office Professional and I want to know if you have it yet.
Me: I still need some clarification, since many Microsoft product names sound similar--
Bitch: Okay. It's the one that comes with Word--
Me: Okay, you're talking about Office. There are two versions--
Bitch: Let me finish?
Me: I know which product you mean now.
Bitch: But let me finish, OKAY?
Me: I can answer your quick question now.
Bitch: LET ME FINISH! It has Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, and Outlook with it. I have the one from 2003. I want to know if I can get the one for 2004. Do you understand?
Me: As I was saying, there are two versions of Office. If you have the one labelled 2003, then you're talking about Office Professional, or Office 2003, and there has been no more recent release than that one. Sorry, but what you want is not available.
Bitch: I said it was Microsoft XP Edition Windows for Office 2004, didn't I? Jesus! Everything is so difficult in this place.
Me: *click*


If she hates Indiana so much why is she going to school here? Oh yeah. Because it's not exactly a challenge to get accepted to IU, if you know what I mean. I wish I weren't so insulted by her Indiana-hate, because I am not even from here. I just moved here and I don't have any lovey feelings for this state or this university yet.

Comments

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering if a prof told her she absolutely had to have Office 2004. Some of the most brilliant failures in the world (failures in their own field, thus entering academia, like the school I'm currently attending features) would be likely candidates for this type of OMGWTFBBQ.

[ex-prunesnp.livejournal.com]

Why do people fucking INVENT names for fucking software that doesn't even exist? It makes me want to stab them.

And on that note, it kills me when someone says, (example) "Hey, my Adobe doesn't work!"

Your Adobe what? Illustrator? Acrobat? Photoshop? Etc etc. Say what you MEAN. I don't sit around when XP is acting up and say that my MICROSOFT is broken.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

They do.

"OK, $company makes about twelve thousand different computer products. Which one are you having problems with?"

[winterlady.livejournal.com]

It's the "Let Me Finish" crap that gets me.

You were nicer than I would have been. I would have gone with:

"*huge sigh* Are you DONE? cause I wouldn't want to talk until you're DONE."
...

"You're sure you DONE?!?"
....

"OK... are you REALLY SURE you're DONE?!?!?"

Yeah, she was a straight up bitch with control issues. :P Nasty piece of works they are.

[canthlian.livejournal.com]

Microsoft XP Edition Windows for Office 2004

I have an extraordinarily strong urge to tell her that she needs Microsoft Internet Office XP Professional Media Basic 2004. Then tell her to look it up. I can almost hear the mental breakdown that would cause.

[jjjiii]

There's an Office 2004 for Mac OS X... But since what she wanted doesn't exist, and won't ever exist since she's got the names of several products confused, you should have just said "nope, don't have that yet" and let her figure out that she didn't have the product name right. Woulda served her right.

[katyism.livejournal.com]

Eh, I couldn't do that. Whenever I get an obviously wrong, horribly misinformed person on the phone I can never resist the temptation to find some way to get the correct info into their head. Or at least try. I feel obligated to try and educate users, so my call times are kinda high :/

[katyism.livejournal.com]

But at least "educating" them doesn't have to be done politely, which is fun :)

"Educating users"

[blackrat.livejournal.com]

I'd have been sorely tempted to send that one Mac Office 2004, then watch her head explode when she can't install it on her Windows box for some reason... ;)

I feel your pain - I hate chimp-users too.

My "best" worst call was one where some guy got all pissed off with me because he couldnt find a file.
A file which:
He did not know where it was saved to.
He did not know what it was called.
He did not know what file type it was.

And yet somehow it magicaly became my fault...

Re: "Educating users"

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I get this one every other week.

"I deleted/moved/hallucinated a file, I want it back. I don't have the name, location, type, date of creation, first idea of the contents or where it last saw it."

"Are you sure you didn't imagine this so-called file, sir?"

Re: "Educating users"

[blackrat.livejournal.com]

That sounds painfully familiar, somehow... ;-)

Re: "Educating users"

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

I love the ones where they are working on a Very Important File for two hours, and went to lunch... without saving. And their computer rebooted for an scheduled update over lunch.

Oh yes, and it was in Excel, which doesn't autosave by default.

Yet this was our fault.... We did turn the autosave on for her, but still!

[jjjiii]

I do too, but I have zero time for abusive "customers". If someone is ignorant, or even downright stupid, yet acts appreciative when I help them, I help them. If they act like that person you dealt with, I won't put up with it.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I feel obligated to try and educate users

This, too, will pass.

[amplifiedmouse.livejournal.com]

I got rejected from IU :)

[katyism.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I've never applied, so I wouldn't know... but at work, since most of us are not students, we joke about IU being not choosy with admissions. Maybe it's because a rich daddy means more than an SAT score....
Sorry, can't help myself....

[amplifiedmouse.livejournal.com]

It was more my fault. I did badly in high school, so I have to take crappy courses at a community college before I can get into a real one. 4 years ago when I graduated, I didn't care about school.

[oggsmith.livejournal.com]

yeah uh, um, i have a problem...
ok we;ll whats your OS?
um i have windows 97...

[cmdrproteus.livejournal.com]

I know people that said they have "Windows 2000 Millenium" Argh! :P

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

I've had that one a couple of times. I remember asking the operating system one day....

"What OS do you have?"

"I've got Windows 94."

Windows 94? Well, that's a new one to me...

[shifuimam.livejournal.com]

What a douche bag. It's not like she couldn't have just gone to IUWare and seen within fifteen seconds that 2003 is the newest version available...it's even featured on the front page!

Gotta love uninformed students. "IU gives you email? No way!" etc etc

[naggy.livejournal.com]

You could always tell her: "There's no place like home...go there."

OS issues

[blkmge138.livejournal.com]

My personal favorite has to be when this lady told me she was running "Windows you and ME".

True story *sobs*

[nexilen.livejournal.com]

...
"OK ma'am, so what operating system do you use ?"
"Whaaaa ?"
"What is your Windows version ?"
"I have Windows 2000 XP".
"... Hum ... OK ... Please right-click on my computer, properties .........."
"Guuuuuuuh, OK - where's the info you want again ?"
"On top of the window that's going to appear ..."
"I don't see anything."

[Repeat the last step to her in details - She still doesn't manage to see her OS]

"OK ... cancel outta that ... Click on the Start button and let me know what it says on that blue border on the left ..."
"Guuuuuh ... Nuthin'."

"... Alright ... Click on Run ... type conf ..."
"COMS ?"
"... First four letters of conference ..."
"It won't work."
"What did you type ?"
"conference"
"Please hold on"

*Mute* [2-minute-bitch-n-whine-monologue to closest coworker] *Unmutes*

"Just type conf and hit the "Enter" key ..."
"Oh, there you go. It asks me for my name, e-mail, location ..."
...

She needs to die for fucking up my stats. ^___^

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

HEY THERE!
i'm looking through old posts in tech_support, looking for stories
that i'd like included on http://www.helpdeskhell.com . i've found your's terribly
amusing, can i include it on the "clueless luser pages" of the site?

please respond if yes, no response necessary if no.

thanks for your help!

valis

[katyism.livejournal.com]

by all means do it! that bitch....

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

lol, werd