the joys of answering stupid e-mails from even dumber clients

[k8mnstr.livejournal.com]

Customer's Initial Request:
==============================
To whom it may concern,

I am currently having a difficult time uploading a file to our webserver.
The file is only 1.2mb however the upload "times out." I am able to upload
and download files to other systems without problem so I don't think the
problem is with my computer.

Could you please look into this.

Regards,
Some Guy

Our First Response:
-------------------

We respond letting him know that we are unable to duplicate his issue and see that the FTP services for his account are functioning correctly. We uploaded files into a test directory and notify him of such and advise to check his firewall configurations, isp, etc.

-------------------

Customer's Response:
==============================
Hey <>,

That's great. I am so glad to that you can upload files to my site. Can I
email the file to you and maybe you can upload it for me? You know, telling
me that I don't have a problem is really not solving my problem...

Thanks for trying.

Regards,
Some Guy


Our Second Response:
-------------------
I respond to this letting him know that I have again tested his account and verified his FTP services are fucntioning correctly. I also advised him of possible causes of his issue as well as alternative resolutions. I can't wait to see how he responds...

Comments

[zercool.livejournal.com]

::headdesk:: Doesn't look to me like you said he didn't have a problem ... it looks like you said "the problem isn't on this end."

I love lusers.

[ozdeadmeat.livejournal.com]

wouldnt it be nice just to rid the niceities of helpdesk work and speak to the user like u want to.

eg.
User: my net doesnt work and i cant print.
HelpDesk: TELL SOMEONE WHO CARES FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!*crazy dance*
u get the idea.

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

I agree, though perhaps not to the same defeating-the-entire-point-of-our-jobs degree..

More like :

"You have just interrupted me in the middle of a sentence. That was your one chance. You do it again and this call is terminated."

"Yes sir, you ARE an idiot, considering that you now cannot find the start button, having clicked on it fifteen times in the last five minutes without complaint"

"Sir I really don't have time to discuss your pained history in the world of personal computers. What is the problem you are having RIGHT NOW?"

You know, smackdowns that make a point. Customers never learn because we let them walk all over us.

My opinion : Customer Service and Technical Support need to be mutually exclusive. You want sales, you get niceness, you have a problem that you can't fix? You beg for it from your god of tech.